So I helped out with a show last night at Murky Coffee in Arlington. After the bands were done, some fratty coked-up dudebro busted all up in the joint. In the midst of the chaos, of bands breaking down and people leaving the venue, dude rushed up to me and was like, "Do you speak English
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i'm from the Philippines, man!
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and i didn't know you spoke english. that's crazy. did you learn it in one of them class things for foreigners who don't know the pledge of allegiance?
this is shocking. an asian. who lives in america. and speaks english.
you didn't see much of that back in my day. especially not in washington d.c.
but seriously, i guess i was always under the impression you came from funkytown and only spoke in ass-dropping beats.
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and then said, "yes. i rove amelica!"
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wts?
and i'm sorry about that. just one more reason to become a misanthrope.
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and the best part was that the only thing i thought that was probably true in those string of lies he told me was the fact that he got jumped by 3 black dudes.
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there's one living at the shelter i work in now. he is the skeeziest skeezeball there ever was. eyeballing every female to walk anywhere. i actually had to lecture him on why "being a skeevy bastard won't get you anywhere with women."
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honestly i was just so taken back by the whole thing that i really didn't know what to do.
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-"What country do you think this is?"--Parking attendant
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