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Finding Refuge
It has been years since the looming feeling of inadequacy usurping my mind. I often doubt my own capability, question my own skill, distrust my own opinion, and it intensified in the past half year.
I have been trying my best to climb out that deep well of insecurity, but every time I climb 2 steps, somehow I keep on falling back 3 steps. It feels ( Read more... ) -
Gini loh gaes
Sorry, I'm in the mood of shouting in Bahasa Indonesia.
I'm pissed. Like, totally pissed. To people. Or certain people, who not only talked about me behind my back, but also ensure that anyone who seems like a threat for this person would be talked and smeared.
I'm pissed, because this person could not accept that there are different views in life ( Read more... ) -
Nothingness
It is one of my biggest fear, to feel that I am insignificant, that I am nothing. And how lucky I am to feel that from someone that I care effing much (yes, I am being sarcastic). That after all this time, all the effort to ease your mind, to make you laugh, to ensure that you are OK, were just for.... nothing. Not even a single "Thank you for your ( Read more... ) -
Thank you
We often neglect things that without realising it, it matters the most to us. Friendship, kindness, something that for lots of people are just a very common thing, might be something precious for others. In the past weeks, I realised that I was surrounded with great friends who cares for me deeply. People that will be there during my ups and downs ( Read more... ) -
Panic attack
I just had a three days off and on my last day now. I had a great time, I was with my best friends, now I'm on my hotel bed, and suddenly I feel panic. I don't know why. I feel like crying.
What should I do? -
I have ideas
and I don't know what to do about those ideas. Who to talk with, who to discuss with. Ideas about innovation, apps, etc. Ideas that I already have for ages, and I am afraid it will only ended up in my mind or in my notebook. I have been searching where I can share ideas and people can pick up my ideas to be realised, but I am not sure. I still want ( Read more... ) -
[untitled]
A friend told me last week that I should be egoistical sometimes, that I have to think about myself too and not being too nice. "Why should you care about other people if it's not reciprocal?" Cause in the end, I deserved to be cared too.
I thought friendship isn't about taking for granted, it's about empathy, the willingness to listen, to reach ( Read more... ) -
Words
I was on my friend's car when I heard Subaru's Words after like... a decade. The simplicity of the whole song, the music, the voice, the rawness of the production, I just love it. And after a decade, I just read that the song was a live recording after Subaru wrote the song. On the spot. In only one take.
Then why I wrote about this? We all know it ( Read more... ) -
[space bar]
Space bar is important, it's the one that make this sentence readable instead of lookinglikethis. Space is what makes the sentence logical, that even though there are blank spaces between words, it's actually what makes the sentence intact and feel complete. We may think it as given, but looking at how long the space bar is, we can see how ( Read more... ) -
Hi
I know it's been a while, simply because I was hesitant with the new EULA. But I can't help it, I need a place for me to vent, so I thought, whatever. I'll just say I agree so I can use this blog again.
So what happened with me in the past few years? Lots of things, but unfortunately music is not there. I give up. I lost to the reality that I'm not ( Read more... )