When will I change?

SLEEP is the fundamental unit of life ... lol.

So I've  decided to take a quick 30 minute break before I head back to the mental torture of genetics. I honestly thought genetics would be easy and fun... but honestly its utterly butt complicated. But in a good  and surprising way ... I've been offered a genetic lab position where my OCD actually ( Read more... )

Its amazing that I've minimized my attention to ONLY one human being.

Time is a vicious process. Everything is taking too long.

what is about relationships?
why do I crumble?

urgh ...

I shouldnt have canceled my psy apt

I'm am really trying my best

not to be frustrated by the act of others.
inale / exhale every time something complicated comes up in life. I will AVOID throwing things against the wall.
avoiding the concept of physically beating myself. damn it.
attaining more sleep

Its been rather a period of time since my last log in. But life has been good.
Lets see:
- I had the eye surgery and might I say ... I am seeing 20/0
- I'm dating a boy ... I think its pretty sweet knowing his on campus yet he still distances himself away, really away from me.  He knows I need my space. We're still mutual friends but dating ... I like ( Read more... )

I think my therapy sessions are useless. I’m not getting anywhere with this woman ... this woman I pay a ridiculous amount of money, this woman I tell my problems to, this woman I wish was my mom, this woman taking notes of my psychological disorder ... I can easily say "fuck you!" to this woman but it would be rude of me. She has seen me cry, ( Read more... )

This is me contemplating my sex life.
I've never contemplated my sex life.

I know I could be cold hearted at times but sex ... why is the thought of caring for someone  all of a  sudden getting in the way.
Should I feel for you before I lay in bed with you? It doesnt work this way.
Its always been about lets just get it over with it ... well thats ( Read more... )

I can't help but think about our last conversation. It was too interesting. The end results were too shocking. Was it a bold move? What am I doing? I already hate it (the conditions of the situation) bc I'm lying.