if/when you read this: i know you know it, but i just wanted to say again that i love you so very much. my other half. i adore you. and no matter how many times you read this, the message will not change. and until we meet again, goodbye my love...

i'm right handed handed so typing w just my left sucks. so i went out for a ride like i usually do. biked up to the observatory twice. what a workout. great ride. so it's mile 27.88 on a low traffic section of riverside in burbank, i'm pedaling about 20mph. a lady in her parked car opens the door right in front of me. right in front of me. my ( Read more... )

sometimes i just sit and think about my life and i get these feelings that just gnaw at my stomach. that make my eyes tear. it feels as if i've failed somehow. but i don't know how. and i miss things. like one misses a good friend or the deceased, but i don't know what i'm missing. there's this mass of emotion and i can't put my finger on it. i don ( Read more... )

life seems to move for some people so fast, so far. it brings so much experience, success, enjoyment. and well, for others... life doesn't seem to move much at all. like you're trapped in a void of time and everything is moving but you and when all is over and dead, when everyone has fulfilled their life, you're still in the same spot and went ( Read more... )

I clip the letters out of magazines and newpaper. when arranged they all spell out the words of my love. like a poem. a story. whatever you want to call. how spent a good part of my life with this intensity of emotion. all for you. it almost seems like a waste. these clippings, spelling out my suicide note.

Hypnotized by a record ( Read more... )

i slept in today. well... everyday since we broke up. sleeping it the only thing that doesn't remind me. i dream a lot you see, and in these dreams there's still a you and me. sure it's an illusion. but it's as real as i need it to be. don't wake me...

“It’s her you like, isn’t it?” asked my mother. “No,” I answered, “She’s a good friend, easy to talk to; I enjoy the exchange.” And her reply: “That’s really all that matters.” It was almost like a slap in the face. This comment made me realize I was lying to myself. Once you despise the presence of the person you’re with, nothing else about them ( Read more... )

Time. It passes so swiftly. Just yesterday, it seems, my mother was in labor. And after all of the trembling, pushing, sweating, and screaming, she was holding the newborn me. Just this morning, it seems, I was holding your hand and in love. Trembling because my emotions were going critical mass. Those moments were as perfect as things could get. ( Read more... )

alright, so my mom bought this george foreman indoor/outdoor bbq grill. i set it up in the kitchen and thought it'd be great to make cajun chicken. So, i finish dinner just as the family walks in. Only, when the walk through the front door, they start to cough like they're dying and eyes start to water. What happened, well, i used to much cayanne ( Read more... )