Tomorrow is my first day of residency. I feel totally unprepared and nervous. Kinda a big adventure for the next five years...I feel like it's going to be a bit of a race to the finish and I don't know if I'll have any breathing time or if I'll be at all good at it. I hope that by the end I finally feel like I'm finishing something and I know what ( Read more... )

It's been 4 months since I saw you. Nearly as long since I spoke to you. And almost a month since I emailed you the picture of the heart shaped rock while sitting on the edge of the mesa in CO. I said goodbye to you...told myself that I had to let go to what I feel deep in my heart ( Read more... )

Sometimes it feels like one thing after another. Went to my physical today...of course my alarm totally didn't go off so I ended up rushing there...made it in time but was all flustered and freaked out. I'm sure I totally came across as a spaz. They're like super anal about the drug test, which was kinda weird. I suppose they have reason to be ( Read more... )

So, I've been here for a few days now. Not sure when I close on my house...Wednesday I hope...but I'm here and I'm in my house...and my stuff gets here tomorrow so I'll finally have a bed to sleep on rather than the floor. Still need to go get a couch or something ( Read more... )

Getting prepared for my drive tomorrow. Taking care of last minute details. I'm still not sure when I sign on Friday...hopefully in the morning. Waiting for a rush of emotions...at least I'll have time alone with just the kitties before I have to see other people or interact ( Read more... )

Today the truck came and packed up all my stuff...I'm down to my small black carry-on and a few random items. It's strange to think of all your possessions...your life...being out there in a truck somewhere. Feels like my slow gradual move is coming to an end...finally saying goodbye to it all, everyone. I wish I could have made one last trip up to ( Read more... )

Got back from my road trip out west around 2 am this morning. (sigh)...

[Ramblings...]I've been posting to my other blog (http://kristihultman.blogspot.com) until I realized they were just letters to nowhere and not helping ( Read more... )

Today is my birthday. I should be happy. I should be celebrating. I should also be working on my presentation but I'm not. My heart aches and my body hurts. I'm thinking about a day a few years ago...I was snorkeling alone in the Galapagos. Out in the same place I'd seen so many tourists swim. Only that day was different. The water was a steel grey ( Read more... )

Filled out my residency applications today. It was happy in a way...feeling like life is moving forward and being closer to being done, to knowing where I'm headed, feeling like I've some say in the matter when in reality...I don't really. At the same time, it struck me as incredibly sad. In just 6 months, I'll open an envelope that's going to tell ( Read more... )

Today was another rough day. Woke up with an ache inside that just won't go away. I miss her. I feel like I finally understand what it means to truly love someone and everything about them. The point where you just do, no conditions or qualifications, just love them...their beauty and passion as well as their flaws. Only they don't seem like flaws ( Read more... )