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PART I } {
PART 2 } {
PART 3 }
Youngjae should have known right from the start that letting Daehyun take over his life decisions once again is never the greatest idea, especially for such things regarding a rare week vacation that should have existed for the sole purpose of a Daehyun-free week spree.
The sun is almost setting when they arrive in Busan.
"Hey, yo, your luggage isn't going to carry itself!" Youngjae yells from behind the Maserati's trunk (yes, one of Daehyun's personal luxury vehicles, at least this trip has its advantage) as he takes his own suitcase down, words directed to the man who's just stepping off the passenger seat-recently wakened up from his nap during the entire car ride.
Daehyun wobbles into the sidewalk, hair and clothes disarrayed. He takes off his Chanel sunnies, gaping at Youngjae's house when his attention drifts toward it. "Whoa, your house is nice."
Youngjae snorts. "You've been here during our post-graduation dinner once, Daehyun, your mom and mine were friends. But judging as to how you've seen nothing but hotels in the past three years, I'm not surprised you've forgotten."
"I love this place!" Daehyun announces, his arms stretched out on his sides. "It's a real house!"
Youngjae furrows his eyebrows. "Your luggage."
Daehyun waves him off as he starts walking forward into the yard. "Yeah, can you just get it down for me?"
As expected of Daehyun Jung. Youngjae rolls his eyes and groans as he does as told. "You're going to be the death of me."
They walk the short footpath toward the front porch, Youngjae murmuring death threats mostly to himself as Daehyun continues to admire the house, pointing out its pink and yellow contrast against the green lawn and how the fresh air feels like it's ready to cradle you. Youngjae decides Daehyun must have knocked his head against something solid while he slept in the car.
Youngjae loves Busan for all the same reasons one can love a provincial hometown. It reminds him of his childhood days when there had been nothing all too major to worry about other than Science projects and getting his baby teeth pulled out. But now that he's got the chance to go home, to temporary loose himself of adult responsibilities, he's not sure he can enjoy it.
Youngjae's hyung is the one to open the door once they ring the bell, and he doesn't miss the way Daehyun looks confused for a moment, unable to recognize the other. "Youngjae? Youngjae!" His brother is almost screeching.
"Himchan hyung," Youngjae is more displeased than delighted when the older man pulls him into a bear hug.
"You're here!" Himchan says with a large grin, pulling the other back at an arm's length to study him. "You didn't say you were coming home! Mom's going to freak out." He vaguely turns his head, noticing Daehyun for the first time. "Oh, wow, looks like you even brought your work home with you. Is that a Christian Dior shirt? Man, it's true, Jae, you've been meddling with ballin' people." He ruffles Youngjae's hair.
"Ballin'?!"
"Oh that's right," Himchan mocks a look of shock for a second, "You talk Shakespeare. I meant to say, extensively opulent."
Youngjae rolls his eyes. "Can't say I'm too thrilled to introduce you two. But this is Daehyun," he gestures, "The international supermodel. Now standing on our porch. With me holding his luggage for him because he appears to find it difficult to drag it by himself. Don't worship him too much though, you're both around the same degree of annoying."
Himchan offers Daehyun a handshake which the other returns with reluctance. "I've read and watched and heard all about you."
Youngjae turns to Daehyun. "And that's Himchan," he says, pushing the said man aside as he walks forward into the house, "He's my step brother. You've never met him because he had been in Australia all his life, and I thought he'd always be. Guess I'm wrong."
Himchan resumes to beam at Daehyun. Placing an arm across the younger's shoulder as he invites him inside the house. "Welcome to our home, dear friend, who would have thought someone as boring as Youngjae here can also associate himself with cool people?"
"I wonder about the same thing," Daehyun says.
"Believe me, once you get to know him," Youngjae says. "He is far from cool."
If the house looked inviting from the outside, Daehyun thinks it's even more welcoming inside. The walls were painted in a visually relaxing blue hue, furniture dotting every corner possible, the waft of air smells like someone had been baking cookies. It's the true ambience of a home.
"Youngjae, is that you?" A familiar woman with brown shoulder-length curls pokes her head from a door of what Daehyun deems to be the kitchen. Ah he knows this one, Mrs. Yoo. She seems to notice Daehyun first and her smile widens, walking toward them and revealing the floral apron she's wearing. "My oh my, has my son suddenly turned into a gorgeous human being?"
"Never in a million years," Himchan mutters next to Daehyun as he slightly pushes the younger forward.
"I heard that," Youngjae says with a bored voice. He sighs. "I'm right here, mom."
But Youngjae's mom proceeds to hug Daehyun anyway. "Daehyun, hi, it's so nice to see you after a long time, you're just as glorious looking as your mother had been. Wow, you've even gotten buffer over the years!" She squeaks, pulling away and squeezing Daehyun's biceps.
"Mom," Youngjae makes a face. "Please stop that."
"It's nice to see you too, Mrs. Yoo," Daehyun says with a polite smile.
"It's Mrs. Moon now, honey," Mrs. Moon winks at him as she steps and turns to grab Youngjae, this time, into a spine-crushing embrace. "Baby, welcome home."
Daehyun's gaze catches three picture frames on top of one corner desk nearby when he absentmindedly looks around again, each showing three family studio pictures with three different men and three different kids. Daehyun recognizes little Himchan and Youngjae, the other one, maybe not.
"Youngjae hyung!!!" A small being holding a toy airplane suddenly comes running down from a flight of stairs.
"Hey, Jonguppie!" Youngjae grins, taking the kid up his arms with a soft groan. "Wow, you seem to get a foot taller each time I see you. You've even gotten heavier."
The kid grins back twice as massively. "Heavyweight!"
Mrs. Moon laughs from beside them. "He's been dying to see you since your last Skype call," she shares, "Have fun together for a while, I should prepare lunch." She walks back into the kitchen after patting Jongup on the cheek.
"Hyung, who's your friend?" Jongup asks, pointing at Daehyun with his toy plane.
"Jongup, this is Daehyun hyung," Youngjae gestures, Daehyun waving in turn. "I work with him, and he'll be staying with-MOM, DAEHYUN CAN STAY WITH US, RIGHT?"
"Of course he can, sweetie!"
"He'll be staying with us here for a week. That's okay, isn't it?" Youngjae continues, poking little Jongup's tummy. "You'll make friends, right?"
Jongup nods, shyly grinning.
Daehyun smiles and pats his head. "I will be your friend."
"Just don't play dress-up with him," Himchan, who has long transferred his butt on the couch playing something on his phone, adds jeeringly.
"Your family's cool," Daehyun says as he and Youngjae begins to settle their belongings in the latter's bedroom. (As Youngjae pushes the luggages below the bed and Daehyun sits on top of it, leaning back on his hands.)
"I know, my mom's good at making families," Youngjae says, sitting down next to Daehyun and staring out into the clear sky through the window pane. "Without keeping the husbands, of course. She and Jongup's dad are in the midst of legalizing the divorce. Then she'll be out to find herself a new surname again."
"Well." Daehyun shrugs. "She's still young and pretty, anyway."
Youngjae gives him a look. "What, are you going to father my fourth sibling?" He teases. "Mrs. Jung? Kinda gross. Don't."
Daehyun laughs, smacking Youngjae behind the head. "Idiot."
"Boys!" They both hear Mrs. Moon yell from downstairs. "Dinner is ready!"
"When are you going back to Australia?"
"When are you going back to Seoul?"
Youngjae raises an eyebrow at his older brother across the dining table.
"Now, now," Mrs. Moon starts to say as she wipes the smeared ketchup off Jongup's face next to her. "It's good that we're all here together, right now, aren't we? Jongup and I have been very lonely."
"I don't know mom, I just heard Youngjae's question as more of a demand than a question," Himchan says before biting off the piece of fried chicken from his fork.
"You need to clean your ears then," Youngjae counters.
"Daehyun," Mrs. Moon chimes, voice raised as to block his two elder sons' childish bickering. "How is work with Youngjae and everything?"
"We're good," Daehyun responds while chewing, exchanging glances with Youngjae. "We're... better. London fashion week is approaching so we're kind of about to prepare for that."
"Your job sounds really fun." Mrs. Moon shows a face of envy.
"Believe me, it's only fun for him," Youngjae says, "Otherwise, it isn't."
"Oh don't be such a prissy," Himchan derides.
"I've seen the news," Mrs. Moon continues to say as Youngjae silently threatens to hurl his fork at his hyung, "I hope Youngjae hadn't been the one to pull you into drinking alcohol."
"Mom!" Youngjae protests, distracted from his plan of attack. "I don't even like alcohol."
"How can I know for sure! You've been gone for a while, even Himchan here hasn't told me he has a boyfriend, if I never checked his camera roll, I never would have found out."
"I'm not dating him, mom," Himchan says monotonously, as if he's said it a hundred times. Maybe he has.
"I've single-handedly raised you two with all my efforts, you couldn't even last a second without me by your side when you were younger, now you're keeping secrets from me," Mrs. Moon whines out with a pout. "Jongup, don't ever grow up."
Jongup only blinks at his mother, puzzled.
Daehyun suddenly feels like chuckling.
"God, mom, don't be so dramatic," Youngjae says.
"Okay!" Himchan says loudly, after finishing the last scoop of rice on his plate. He stands up from his seat and starts heading toward the living room. "Who wants to play scrabble?"
"Me!" Jongup starts jumping on his butt on his seat. "Me, hyung! Me!"
Himchan collapses on the living room couch, grabbing the scrabble board's box from underneath the living room table. "One who gets the lowest score does the dishes! Even you Jongup."
Youngjae pushes his seat back, its legs scraping noisily against the floor. "It's on!" He stands up, carelessly throwing his napkin on the table before sprinting toward the living room.
Daehyun watches with large eyes as Jongup jumps down from his seat and teeters after his hyungs as well, mouth still full with his last serving.
Mrs. Moon can only giggle at Daehyun's expression. "Come on, join us!" She says. "Be careful, though, this house is filled with scrabble tigers."
"Your water is too fast," Youngjae scolds, adjusting the sink tap next to Daehyun before giving him a sharp glare. "We're not in a hotel, learn to conserve."
"Sorry," Daehyun sticks his lower lip out as he rinses the last dish. "Your mom said 'scrabble tigers', you guys were like t-rexes or something."
Youngjae turns around and leans back against the counter, exuding a small laugh. "You had basically put yourself out there to lose."
"It's unfair." Daehyun places the dish on the drying tray and turns off the tap. "Your mom was playing and coaching Jongup."
"You want him to do the dishes? He can't even reach the sink."
Youngjae spins back to open the drawer behind him to reveal the hand drying towels, only to have Daehyun reaching for the same towel as he is. Their hands softly bump on each other and Youngjae jerks back, as if electrocuted.
Two seconds into the silence and Daehyun almost, almost says something. But Youngjae feels just a little bold that night to just brush off the sudden awkwardness with a chuckle, reaching for the towel and for both of Daehyun's hands to dry them off as well.
"Congratulations, Mr. Jung," Youngjae prompts, fiddling with Daehyun's fingers. "You've done housework, this is a colossal life accomplishment!"
"You have really nice hands," is all that comes out of Daehyun's mouth.
Youngjae pauses from wiping Daehyun's hands looks up, meeting Daehyun's eyes, that suddenly seems much more tantalizing at an even closer distance. "You've said that."
"I've meant it."
Youngjae's heartbeat suddenly seems so much more audible than it was. He gazes back down on Daehyun's hands, now all dry.
"Youngjae-"
"I'm going up to take a shower," Youngjae says just as Daehyun starts, pushing down to urge to ask the other to continue just as he places back the towel inside the counter drawer. "You have to be asleep once I return, don't take up too much bed space." He rounds and saunters toward the direction of the stairs.
Daehyun doesn't get to say what he wants to say.
Youngjae wakes up early the next morning to his bedside alarm clock blaring out the numbers: ten thirty, and he panics for a moment, he always wakes up at six. That's the standard. But then he remembers where he is and sighs in relief, mellowing out on his bed. Second day of the week-off, right.
He's rubbing off his early morning eye crusts when he becomes aware that the noise and laughter he's been hearing from outside sounds a lot like Jongup. He pushes himself off the bed and makes it a point to pass by his bedroom window just to peek and does and double-take when he sees that it is Jongup running around their backyard playing frisbee with Himchan hyung... and Daehyun.
There are three things in this world that Youngjae believes has not and will never ever exist: 1.) Aliens 2.) A permanent dad in the house, and 3.) Jung Daehyun's particularly adorable aspect.
And he can't-doesn't-won't-believe that he might actually be seeing it now.
Daehyun's laughing hysterically along with his brothers as the frisbee gets thrown back and forth, Jongup trying so hard to catch up to it, and Youngjae notices that Daehyun looks like a kitten when he laughs like that and thinks that maybe he looks cute. Maybe. Youngjae never really paid attention to kittens. Or Daehyun's laughing face for that matter. Daehyun barely laughs that hard.
Just then, little Jongup trips on his feet on his way back to Daehyun's side. He falls down and blinks for a moment, his tiny brain trying to decide how much he's hurting, and Jongup's eyebrows begins to furrow. Daehyun's by side already, Himchan right behind, by the time he's pouting and his eyes are starting to water.
Youngjae should really be flashing down the stairs with a first aid kit but the scenario makes him stay to watch. Daehyun has kneeled in front of Jongup and has the kid standing up in front of him as he runs his hand through his hair, saying something, probably a string of reassurances. He gives the frisbee to Jongup and pinches his cheek, then Jongup nods and starts to smile as he gets a pat in the head.
Youngjae blinks, feeling something nice and warm clouding in his chest.
Daehyun spends the entire day impressing Youngjae with the ability to get along very well with his entire family. Youngjae's sitting on the dining table for his afternoon snack, listening to his mother talk about his ex-husband as she cooks, when Jongup comes ambling inside the house through the kitchen back door, an ice cream cone in grip and a large grin on his face, his injury cuts from earlier now plastered with a Pokémon band aid.
Youngjae's confusion fades half a second later when Daehyun barges in, breathless, grabbing a bun from Youngjae's bread box before the other can scold him about his diet. He rattles on about having to chase Jongup across the neighborhood after he bought him ice cream in the nearest convenience store, which had taken about fifteen minutes of indecision.
"Youngjae, if you don't marry this guy, I will," Youngjae's mother says from behind the stove. And Youngjae doesn't know what could really be worse than that at all.
The evening is filled with endless chatter from the living room because as it turns out, Himchan hyung and Daehyun have more in common than Youngjae thought they would have. Youngjae catches the words "Cadillac" and "Porsche" one moment then "Volvo" and "Ferrari" on another. Cars, he snorts.
Youngjae's climbing up the stairs into his room when he finds out that Jongup's been following him, already in his pajamas, holding his toy plane and rubbing his eye with a small fist. "Youngjae hyung."
"Jonguppie?" Youngjae says, but Jongup has already advanced inside his bedroom.
The kid climbs on the bed and settles himself against the headboard.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Youngjae sits next to his brother. "Do you want a bedtime story?"
Jongup shakes his head left to right.
"Then what does Jonguppie want?"
Jongup initially looks at Youngjae with hesitancy, before looking determined and saying, "Are we going to be keeping Daehyun hyung?"
Youngjae's eyes widens a bit. "Hm?" He says, running his hands through the younger's hair. "But you've already got me and Himchan hyung, you have more than enough hyungs."
"But," Jongup blinks. "You both aren’t home all the time. Maybe Daehyun hyung can stay at home all the time."
"I'm sorry, Jonguppie, but Daehyun hyung works too, you know. As a model. He's with me."
Jongup blinks some more, trying to digest the facts altogether before heaving a big, big, deep sigh. He topples sideward and lays his head on Youngjae's shoulder. "I like Daehyun hyung a lot."
Youngjae's lips stretch into a small smile and he kisses Jongup's forehead. "I like him too."
"Someone's in love," Himchan says teasingly, sitting next to Youngjae on the bench as the other watches Daehyun and Youngjae endlessly chase each other around in the village playground.
Youngjae side eyes him. "Who?"
Himchan places his hands inside his winter jacket and leans back. "I don't know."
Youngjae laughs sarcastically. "I'm not in love with anyone."
"Yes you are," Himchan asserts. "God, why are you denying yourself such a simple pleasure in life. The star is already within reach, staring you up in the nose, even."
Youngjae gives another look at Daehyun's direction, just in time to catch that Daehyun's been stealing a glance at his, too. And they both look away, Youngjae blinking twice as faster than usual.
"I saw that," Himchan points out. "Tell me one more time that you're not in love and your face will be landing face first into the snow."
"Will you drop the book and lose the glasses for once? I thought you took a vacation to relax?"
Youngjae glances at Daehyun-who's already comfortably lying on the bed-through his reading glasses all the way from the side couch next to the lamp, the only source of light in the room. "I am relaxing," Youngjae points out.
"No, that's not relaxing." Daehyun places his arms behind his head. "Relaxing is doing something out of the norm. You always do that, picking up your grandpa glasses and reading before bed."
Youngjae sighs, settling down his novel on the side table. He removes his reading glasses and places it on top of the book. "I am with you, though, is that out of the norm?"
Daehyun purses his lips.
"I still remember the way to your house, do you want me to take you there tomorrow morning?"
"No," Daehyun affirms, turning on his side to face away from Youngjae. "No one will be there."
Youngjae knits his brows.
"My dad's always out of town, and it's not like I have a sibling like Jongup to hang out with. What else will I do, stare and talk at my mom's large portrait in the living room wall?" Daehyun says, an edge of resentment audible in his voice. "You know all this. I like your family, everything seems lively in here. Can't you just please let me stay until the week is over and we can go back to work?"
Youngjae's gaze drops. "I'm sorry."
A moment of silence drags on. Youngjae watches the way Daehyun's shoulders rise up ever so slightly every time he breathes, wondering what can be going on in the mind of someone who everybody thinks is constantly living a life of glory.
"I never wanted to be a supermodel," Daehyun confesses, voice merely above a whisper. "I wanted to manage businesses, like my dad. But when my mom died, my grandmother pressured me into becoming like her. Like them." He exhales. "She said my mom would've wanted me to accomplish what she never lived through to."
"You've done amazing, though. You've come so far," Youngjae says. "I've seen you every step of the way."
Daehyun yawns sleepily. "Yeah.." he drawls. "That's why... I never wanted you to... leave..."
Daehyun's body slowly relaxes, his breathing gradually becoming stable.
Youngjae stands up and walks next to Daehyun's side of the bed, smiling as he recalls that he's always the only one to see the sides of Daehyun no one else can. He grabs the blankets and carefully lays it over the other. "Good night... Jung Daehyun."
When Youngjae's mom tells him that they should really visit the beach today, Youngjae almost regrets ever coming home. He detests strong winds at most during the cold season, and winter is quickly approaching, Youngjae's pretty sure it's going to be below zero degrees on the beach at this time.
The sun is already beneath the clouds when Himchan's pick up truck stops on the deserted sandy shores of the sea. They set up their picnic on one of the bungalows dotting the coast and made a mall bonfire nearer to the waters. Dinner is composed of meat and fishcakes and Youngjae's mom telling stories about how he met Youngjae's father in this exact same beach as a dog walker.
Youngjae's cleaning up the mess when Jongup starts to tug his mom along to walk toward the edge of the beach and pick up seashells. Himchan's long dozed off on the bungalow seat after drawling about how the ocean lulls him to peaceful slumber. And Daehyun's sitting by himself on the edge of the shore by the bonfire, appearing to be deep in thought as he stares into the overlapping waves.
Youngjae grabs a blanket from Himchan's knapsack and strolls toward Daehyun, the warmth brought about by the bonfire can't surely be enough.
"Aren't you cold?" He asks.
Daehyun briefly turns his head to acknowledge Youngjae's presence. "I'm fine."
Youngjae places the blanket across Daehyun's shoulders anyway and sits next to him, gazing at the stars slowly appearing one by one from the horizon. "What are you thinking about now, huh?" He nudges Daehyun with a teasing smile.
Daehyun smiles himself as he now fully turns his attention on Youngjae's face. "Nothing much, just..." He sneakily stretches the blanket from himself to share the warmth with Youngjae, "Things."
Youngjae doesn't miss the deed, if more he surprises Daehyun by curling up closer next to him and nestling his head on the crook of Daehyun's neck. "The sea is really soothing, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Daehyun replies as he adjusts himself against Youngjae's body. "It's freeing. It makes me feel like I'm not being controlled, for once."
"What makes you feel controlled?"
Youngjae hears, feels, the way Daehyun exhales. "Everything," the other says. "Everyone."
"You know what I think?"
"What's that?"
"I think your mom wouldn't have wanted you to continue the legacy," Youngjae says. "I think she would have wanted you to follow your heart's desire."
Silence takes over them for a moment, nothing but the sound of the ocean waves slapping against the coast. At some point Youngjae worries about having said something wrong, but still too afraid to take another look at Daehyun. But the ambiance surrounding them just makes their current stance much more comfortable, and the anxiety threatening to bubble up in Youngjae's chest fades before it can even develop, overpowered by a light thumping sound.
A heartbeat.
But with their close proximity, Youngjae can't be sure if he's hearing his or Daehyun's.
"Youngjae," Daehyun finally speaks up, voice small, almost quiet.
"Hm?" comes Youngjae's inquiry.
"..If I told you that I'm in love with you, what would you do?"
Youngjae counts the empty seconds that follow soon after Daehyun's words, letting the astonishment sink in before the realization that, if the stretch of silence took longer, he could have asked the same.
"I'd... I'd question why," says Youngjae.
Youngjae counts another series of seconds. "I'd tell you I have three reasons."
"I'd ask you what those are."
He doesn't have to look to know that Daehyun's starting to smile once more. "First, you have the unmistakable ability to make my heart race twice as fast," he says. "Second, you're really the only who really knows me enough to understand."
Youngjae tilts his head just enough to see the moonlight bouncing off the curves of Daehyun's features. "And third?"
"You make me feel like I'm worth more than a picture on a magazine." Daehyun looks at him too, eyes soft, sincere.
Here's a man opening his heart up right beside him, and all Youngjae can think of is how beautiful he is beneath the sky's glow. "You've always been worth more than a picture on a magazine."
Youngjae doesn't hold himself back from staring at Daehyun just a little bit more, seeming to see someone else's face other than the supermodel he thought he's observed enough. Natural dark brown eyes, a long nose, and plump lips, Daehyun is in no way dolled up, but Youngjae think he's in his most stunning state.
"Yo, Youngjae!" Himchan yells from behind them, breaking off Youngjae from his momentary trance. "Kill the fire, we're going home!"
Soon after, little Jongup is bouncing toward them, pulling at the sleeve of Daehyun's jacket to show him the seashells they've caught.
Daehyun rises up, but not before he presses a chaste kiss on Youngjae's forehead. No words exchanged, just silent understanding.
Maybe the trance isn't broken off at all. Nor it is momentary.
It takes more than a grumpy stiff necked Himchan hyung and an attention-seeking Jongup before Youngjae can find himself next to Daehyun again, something he's all too eager to happen since they left the beach. He has received a call from Mr. Soo, reminding them to be back in Seoul by tomorrow evening so they can fly to London the following day.
Vacation's over. Might as well take advantage of the time that's left.
Daehyun's coming out of the bathroom with his lower half wrapped in just a towel when Youngjae comes in the room. "Hey," he starts, "Where have you b-"
He cuts himself in surprise when he hears Youngjae switch the door lock.
Youngjae's heart begins to race so rapidly he can hear it ringing in his ears. He walks forward, slowly, with guts and needfulness, to cup Daehyun's face and to seal the distance between them with a kiss.
(And he realizes it's all he's been wanting to do.)
A surge of affection bursts between them, heat creeping up in their chests as the kiss turns increasingly fervent that Daehyun's back hits the bathroom door. His arms snake around Youngjae's waist, securing him in place. Youngjae bites on Daehyun's lower lip somewhere along the way, causing Daehyun to exude a low moan that sends shivers down.
Youngjae pulls away, hands on either side of Daehyun's face. He kisses his nose, his eyelids, his cheek and receives a rush in his insides when Daehyun sighs out his name.
The eye contact seems to become even more electrifying, making Youngjae feel obligated to do whatever those eyes seem to be asking him to do.
And they're asking for more.
The bright sunshine coming through the window directly to the side of the bed is what wakes Youngjae up early the next morning. He shuffles in the sheets, stretching stiff limbs and yawning with all his might, only to face the delight of reality when he turns to see Daehyun peacefully sleeping next to him.
God damn, those things about having stomach butterflies is true. (Being in love is insane.)
He kisses Daehyun's shoulder before rising up from the bed to close the drapes, which they might have completely forgotten to do the night before.
"Mornin' gorgeous," he hears Daehyun mumbling sleepily from behind him.
Youngjae turns around and gives the other a questioning smile, climbing right back up under the sheets and snuggling into the other's chest. "Are you referring to yourself?"
Daehyun gazes back at rich brown eyes. He kisses Youngjae's hair. "Not this time."
Youngjae starts running a finger on the bite marks he's left all over Daehyun's neck last night. "Daehyun."
"Hm?"
"You're so attractive in the morning."
Daehyun smiles in a mixture of smugness and adoration. "Fifteen million other girls would say the same."
"Well, I'm different," Youngjae asserts.
"How so?" Daehyun challenges with a raised eyebrow.
"You find me attractive too."
"Oh," Daehyun says, mocking doubt as moves up to hover over the now-laughing Youngjae. "Is that so?"
"If you ever ask my advice on marriage, Youngjae, I'd say find someone who loves children."
Youngjae is standing with his mom next to the back porch railings, watching as Daehyun teaches Jongup how to use the new remote controlled toy plane he bought him the other day. The two appears to have an endless amount of energy, never getting tired despite hours of boundless playing and goofing around.
Youngjae gives his mom a thoughtful look.
"It's like I have a curse of falling in love with men who can't even stick around long enough to see their children grow up," Mrs. Moon says, looking longingly at his youngest son. "I never learn my lesson."
"We don't need a dad, mom," Youngjae says. "We have you. And you have us."
His mom sighs happily, giving Youngjae the same smile Jongup got from her so perfectly. She pulls Youngjae into a side hug, leaning on his shoulder. "Ah, my baby boy is now all grown up."
"Yeah, but don't talk to me about marriage yet mom, I have no plans of marrying Daehyun."
"Yeah, not now, but one of these days, right?"
Youngjae's in the midst of giving his mother a funny look when they overhear Daehyun and Jongup's conversation as they walk back to the porch, finally exhausted.
"Do you want to ride an airplane, Jonguppie?"
"Yes, hyung! But I'm kind of scared because it goes up up high!"
"It's not scary at all! Youngjae hyung and I rides airplanes all the time."
"Really!"
"Yeah! That's why you need to be a good boy so when you grow up you can learn to pilot an airplane and you can take me and Youngjae hyung and Himchan hyung and Mommy to different parts of the world!"
Jongup's eyes are twinkling by the time they reach the porch, immediately running into his mom's arms and ranting about wild and ambitious promises about being able to fly a plane as his mom brings him inside the house for a shower.
Daehyun stumbles next to Youngjae, gasping for breath. Youngjae grabs the hand towel from the other's grip and starts dabbing the sweat off of the other's face. "You've been a better hyung to Jongup in a week than I've been to him in four years."
Daehyun just grins at him. "It's official Jae, I want children of my own."
"Hm, I'll get you one," Youngjae replies absent mindedly, hanging the towel around the back of Daehyun's neck.
"You mean we'll get us one," Daehyun corrects. "Or two. Maybe three. I could deal with a large family."
"You'll be thrice as tired as you are now every weekend morning when you're supposed to be resting from work," Youngjae says, placing his hands on Daehyun's hips and pulling him close. "Think you can handle that?"
"Think I can." Daehyun raises his arms up to bare and flex his biceps.
Youngjae laughs heartily, pulling Daehyun's arms down. "We'll see how it'll go then."
Their departure consisted of Daehyun promising Jongup that'll he be returning soon to buy him a bigger toy plane and to play with him some more, the kid still looks upset, but so does Daehyun as Youngjae glances at him from the car's passenger seat.
It almost feels harassing to be back to their Seoul hotel and being immediately ushered to a private jet for the London fashion week. Daehyun senses that Youngjae's been feeling the same way, but only kisses each other's stresses away once they arrive in their London penthouse.
A tremendous Dolce & Gabbana fashion show is first to hit the spotlights, serving as an opening for the grand event which invited glorious guests, judges and spectators from all around the world. Celebrity stars, fashion designers and the renowned veterans of the industry can be spotted everywhere beneath the princely lightings and the stage design. For a moment, nothing seems familiar to Youngjae, but seeing Daehyun walk down the runway sporting million dollar clothing and thick make-up reminded him again of how everything's always been before: a show time.
Within the succeeding hours, Youngjae's conversing and shaking hands with various personalities once again. Betsey Johnson, Sandy Powell, Giorgio Armani and Karl Lagerfeld are all interested in what Daehyun's been up to as of late. Vivienne Westwood welcomes him and Daehyun into their third attendance for the London fashion week. Philip Lim and Domenico Dolce offers him a drink. The entire frenzy is all so luxurious and majestic, and seemingly after just a week without all these, Youngjae realizes how lucky he is to have a job a million others will surely die for.
Daehyun walks with poise and aggression and occasional hefty smirks, momentarily enjoying the splendid impression he gives off, the spotlight, the camera flashes, as he walks for multiple brands, sporting multiple kinds of winter clothing, earning a thousand dollars with each step on the catwalk. It's the life he's always lived, the same mask he's learned to flaunt so perfectly it's almost second nature.
Daehyun's in the middle of sharing drinks during the third day's after party when his phone gets ringed by the person he's been least expecting to receive a call from at the moment. Not that he doesn't know what he called for.
"Dad," Daehyun mumbles toward the speaker. He's stepped outside in the hotel balcony, seeking solace in the colorful city lights of the London heights, elbow leaning on the top of the barriers. "I'm fine, just in case you'd bother to ask before offering me business projects again, which, as you know, I wouldn't be taking."
He hears his father sigh. "Daehyun, our publishing company needs a new chairman. I've got other businesses to attend to, I've been hoping for you to quit your super modeling career any time soon, but it's already taking so long," he says, Daehyun can hear the tension edging his voice. "You're my only son, my only successor and no one else. Please, think about this first before you say no."
The call ends before Daehyun can give another response. Just like that. No questions about where he might be, what he's up to, whether he's okay. Just a constant demand every single time.
Daehyun puts his phone down and licks his lips, way to put up an identity crisis for me to face, dad. He's gonna need some more booze for this.
Youngjae thinks that nothing can ever beat the disappointment that bubbled up in his chest when he received the call, because when he said yes to Mr. Soo's simple order, he feels like he's agreeing to lose more than just his job.
Daehyun was found in a bar committing violence to a paparazzi by punching him in the face. And Youngjae thinks of how it's such an unlikely situation, considering how much self-control he knows Daehyun possesses. But his anger or dejection doesn't really matter anymore, because he no longer holds a say in the situation, he's no longer Daehyun's manager.
The hotel door bursts open all of a sudden, Daehyun barging in with a flushed face and unruly hair. Youngjae looks away from him, resuming to pack his things as if nothing happened.
Daehyun slowly walks toward him, taking notice of the familiar wad of paper lying on the side table. The contract. But it isn't as it was before. Because on the bottom right side of the front page is Youngjae's signature in searing red ink.
"What's this?" Daehyun demands, voice constricted, jaw tightened.
Youngjae pauses his hands from transferring clothes to his suitcase, unseeingly grabbing the remote control and pointing it toward the television across the hotel room. An entertainment news report goes on about Daehyun's exploit, the reporters theorizing Daehyun's issues once again. "What's this?"
Daehyun's hands turn into fists. "It's not what you think."
"You know what, it's okay, it doesn't matter anymore," Youngjae says, zipping up his suitcase.
"No! It's not okay, you have to listen to me."
"You don't have to tell me, okay?" Youngjae presses. "It won't change anything. I have to go, my chauffeur's waiting." Youngjae pulls his luggage upright.
"Youngjae-"
"Daehyun." Youngjae's voice gets a little more austere for one last time. He ambles toward Daehyun, and pulls the other's head down to press a kiss on his forehead. "Find me again once you find yourself."
For the first time in three years, Youngjae and Daehyun are miles apart. It's a severely rough patch for a relationship that's yet to blossom, but Youngjae's always been a believer of taking chances.
And this one's laid out for him to get things right for himself first.
Both dejection and determination takes Youngjae back to Busan to look for another job opportunity. His mom, as always, is armed with words of encouragement. But when Jongup asks why Daehyun hyung isn't with him, all Youngjae can give him is a pat on the head.
Youngjae's current credentials, after much effort, lands him in a temporary job in a publishing company as one of the assistant secretaries of the chairman, along with a promise that it's a pre-hand training for him before he can get into writing for a section in one of their magazines. Youngjae's a step closer to the kind of job he's always wanted, so he doesn't complain.
Six months into his job, it'd be a lie to say he's gotten himself perfectly distracted not to think about Daehyun. Because buzz about him is everywhere in the social media. The agency, as it turns out, has found Daehyun a new manager, which apparently isn't good news. Daehyun's scandalous rebellion is becoming apparent through his actions; ditching social gatherings, and being caught drunk in multiple locations. He's labeled as a 'walking disaster' for his agency and all Youngjae can do is stare at the screen with malevolence, because this time, he doesn't know how much of the tittle-tattle is false anymore.
"Do you know why he punched that paparazzi?" Himchan asks one day as Youngjae's sitting in front of the TV late at night, deciding to listen to what they have to say about Daehyun for lack of anything better to do.
Himchan sits next to Youngjae, not waiting for the other to answer. "Heard he had just been deep in thought next to the bar in London, probably thinking about some real serious shit when a desperate paparazzi waltzes in and takes a picture of him," he explains. "He was offered a choice, to release that photo of him at the bar, or a photo of you together flirting in Los Angeles. Daehyun's a real big deal, you know, any of those photos would get cash rollin' in to whoever the paparazzi's working for."
Youngjae's sits still, expressionless.
"Obviously," Himchan continues with a snort, "He didn't make a choice. And punched the guy on the face instead."
"How did you know this?"
Initial reluctance is apparent in Himchan's face for a split second, as if contemplating whether to lie or not. "He called me, told me to tell you when the time is right."
Youngjae plants his face against his palms and sighs.
"He wants to quit modeling, Jae, but the agency doesn't want him to, so he's doing the impossible. Very resolute kid, if you ask me."
"Not resolute," Youngjae mutters. "Just stupid."
The news announces Daehyun's modeling contract termination a few weeks later, and while Youngjae couldn't bring himself to be surprised, he glances at his phone, wondering if he should give Daehyun a call, let him know where he is.
But remembers what he told the other once: find me again once you find yourself.
He pulls his hand back.
It's an early Sunday morning in the month of April when Youngjae arrives to a chaotic workplace. Everyone seems to be rushing to sort things out, to sort themselves out, rushing past each other as if the god damned place is on fire. His confusion is rescued when Hana, one of his co-assistants for the chairman, starts dragging him across the building into the chairman's office.
"The chairman's arriving," Hana says urgently as they walked. "I'll be going down to get him a cup of coffee and the files he may need, you'll be on your desk in case you are requested to attend an errand or if there's any questions he wants to ask. It'll be in your range of knowledge, I promise, don't be nervous." Hana sounds a lot nervous.
"You mean, the chairman, the one who hasn't been around for a year enough to make me assume that he's actually nonexistent?"
"Yes, that chairman," Hana affirms as he leaves Youngjae alone inside the chairman's office.
The countless of times he's been working alone in the empty office has rendered him indifferent to the place, but now that he knows the desk will soon be occupied by someone, by the chairman himself, it appears to be so much more daunting than before. Youngjae sets his bag down his desk, which is located meters away, adjacent from the chairman's and sits down, exercising his brain for the possible questions the new chairman may inquire.
That is until another one of his co-workers rushes in the room to place something on the chairman's desk. A name plate. And that's what cancels out the rest of the thoughts in Youngjae's mind:
JUNG DAEHYUN
Chief Executive Officer
Korea Entertainment Publishing Ent.,
"If there's any way you can contact my dad please-yes-and my coffee? Didn't I politely ask a favor for someone to get me coffee?"
The familiar voice grows louder and louder along with what presumably is his retinue as they arrive closer to the office doors. And albeit Youngjae's still convinced he's hallucinating, he stands up and braces himself.
"Beginning now I think I should be going through all reading articles before publication-this is my office right? Yes-and-"
Youngjae stares back at astonished eyes. Daehyun stands, halted, beyond the doors of the chairman's office. Adorned in the most formal suit Youngjae has ever seen him in, with hair cut much shorter, he almost couldn't recognize Daehyun. And as he stands there, dumbfounded, he wonders what Daehyun will say first after having not seen Youngjae for a year.
"Youngjae," it's audibly more of a sigh of relief. Daehyun shakes his head incredulity. "Wow, you're much easier to find that I first assumed."
Youngjae is out of words to say.
"You're my assistant again?" Daehyun gives him the smile Youngjae's been dying to see again for so long. "Wow, back to stage one, are we?"
Youngjae finds himself smiling back.
It's another adventure.
i'm sorry ;~~~~~; sits in a corner and anxiously waits for reactions.