i'm so happy for all my friends that are doing great things in relationships. a couple of women i know have recently gotten engaged, another couple is building a house and moving in together, another couple moved into together, the list goes on and on... and then there is me.... SINGLE ( Read more... )

i've been avoiding putting words to my thoughts... so much of the same... that even i am tired of my rendition of it ( Read more... )

i'm totally undeniably depressed... driven not to work nor to do anything outside of my house.. i go to work with the mindset to focus and then just float through the day doing nothing... i'm trying hard not to think about shavonne and her life .... but i catch myself checking her fb every evening.... smh but just not being able to avoid it. and ( Read more... )

i feel like crap runneth over... i'm so miserable...
i am at work and determined to do work...
then i'll go home and do my hair...
i'm really feeling my journal entry from earlier

i'm not over her... so why do i go out and even try knowing the result will be a sadness fills me like any other.. so here i go.... stating something so going to be followed ( Read more... )

therapy last night was interesting .it got in my head. made me ponder why i do what i do but then i caught myself doing it again. by flirting with these chicks, am i really leading them on knowing that there is no chance in hell that i'm even close to beginning again... sheesh.. my heart let alone liking someone is totally out of the cards... like ( Read more... )

yesterday i had an emotional breakdown that last pretty much all day.... today i'm awake and i accept yesterday and previous yesterdays... i think i'll call yesterday the effect of wanting someone i can not have... and i hear her words and her logic and it's so illogical to me but whatever... the core of the message she sends me is that she cannot ( Read more... )

so overly frustrated with myself.. i'm crazy stupid...

i miss her like crazy ( Read more... )

i broke yesterday this mask of mine that i was carrying maintaining ... i saw her... her being shavonne ( Read more... )