Moving forward.

[mikiedoggie]

So it's been a very long time since I posted.

Ending things

Since my last entry, there's been a lot of changes.  I had broken up with my partner of almost a decade, John, back in February 2018.  We had a "good" breakup, or so I thought at the time.

Comments

[backrubbear]

When you come to the conclusion that it's time for things to end, it's not easy. The best you can do is make it final and do your best to be good with it. It doesn't sound like he was wanting to make it final, because that would also mean taking responsibility.

Past that, as Dory says in Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming".

The new place looks great.

[mikiedoggie]

Yes. I think this is final, because I do not see a way to trust John with him being the person that is - he lies easily and naturally in order to protect himself. Even as a casual friend, I don't see how that would work knowing what I know now.

[boobooirl]

My God what a shocking story! Your attitude to the situation is wonderful. I wish I could be as level headed as you when dealing with something like this.
Your apartment looks fabulous.
You’d be a great catch for any man. (Not just because of the lovely house you have 😜)

[mikiedoggie]

Thanks so much. I never would have thought this is how my relationship would end. I was certainly not perfect in my relationship with John - but I was committed and worked at it. It is unfortunate that after so many years John would simply bail without even once trying to talk to me. It's more unfortunate we talked about reconciliation and he was set on me never knowing about his behavior - it is a lot of deceit and lies. This is for the best.

[mat_t]

Wow. That is just beyond messed up, Both of their behavior. You’re clearly better off without either of them in your life.

[mikiedoggie]

Yeah, it was something. Most of our mutual friends are just as flabbergasted by John's behavior as I am. It's just sad - we could have broken up, we could have moved forward as friends or separately and he could have pursued something with Matt. But the way the two of them did all of it was just so cruel and toxic to me. He kept me in his life. He continued to manipulate me. Just so many lies, and so much deceit for such a long period of time. There's really no way for us to be friends or even acquaintances - he's sabotaged everything that we built up over a decade because he couldn't say "Mike I love you, but..." That's truly sad.

I'm glad that we didn't get married. That would have been a minefield.

[mrdreamjeans]

Your home is warm, inviting and tasteful. I hope to see it one day.

I would never wish the kind of pain all of these events with John has caused you. It says so much about your character that you've dealt with both men directly and not in a passive-aggressive manner.

Big HUGS and thanks for sharing your thoughts here ... Onward to a better place and a more deserving partner ...

[mikiedoggie]

I am a big believer in taking the moral high ground. I'm not saying I wasn't a little snitty in some of my discussions with John as I was making the decision to cut him out of my life. But honestly, I never took any cheap shots even though I don't think anyone would have blamed me.

I tell myself that it is John's loss. I honestly don't know if he sees it that way; but if he doesn't that is just another reason why this is for the best. Commitment requires work and communication - John would not do either.

[barak]

Long time no-see Posty-McPosterson! My response to your post in short: Wow.. and wow

[mikiedoggie]

The new place is definitely coming along. Always something to do; always something to fix