Everybody hurts - Chapter 5
Title: Everybody hurts - Chapter 5: Moving forward
Author: Miles Sinnerman
E-Mail: milessinnerman@gmail.com
Date Finished: Sometime this year or maybe the nest one
Rating: NC-17
Words: 2829
Keywords: slash, Jack/Sawyer, Clementine
Spoiler: Season 3
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. They own me, body and soul :P
Previous chapter :: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4
Chapter 5: Moving forward
Sawyer wakes up with a raging hard on and starts touching it thinking about Jack’s lips stretched around his cock. He imagines interlacing their fingers with him while Jack’s tongue licks his balls and touches slightly his ass. He fancies Jack deepthroating his whole member and comes quickly knowing Clementine can sneak in at any moment. He thinks about what it would be to have Jack with him right now, liking the idea very much.
He gets up and goes to Clem’s room, still stretching his muscles and rubbing his eyes. She’s sleeping looking like a little peaceful angel. Sometimes he finds a few Cassidy gestures in her but mostly he sees his mother. It’s an awkward feeling for him, it amuses him above all.
The Southern wakes her up. Just like him, she never reacts right away, needing time to adjust and he seems to be patient every time. They both go to the bathroom where they brush their teeth. They do this together since Cassidy died. While she finishes up, he goes downstairs to prepare coffee and her breakfast.
“Daddy, can I take Bella to school?” she asks out of nowhere.
“Who’s Bella?” He assumes it is her new doll, but he wants to talk to her.
“My doll!” says like ‘duh! You should know by now’. The nerve of the little brat, he thinks, but she’s building her attitude and personality and he definitely prefers her to be strong and intrepid.
“The mushy one Jack gave ya?” He asks intrigued while he cuts several pieces of cheese and bread.
“Yup”
Everything is set on the kitchen table. While they eat he thinks about Jack and really wants to know how Clementine feels.
“What do you think about him?”
She doesn’t know what to answer and stays put.
“I mean Jack, do you like him?”
She nods quickly not giving much thought to it. “Can I take her daddy?” She is obviously not in the same page.
“Sure you can. C’mon, go get her.”
He takes her to school and immediately after goes shopping. He buys himself a notebook, comes back home, opens the other bottle of wine that Jack brought yesterday and starts writing.
He feels a great desire to transmit what’s on his mind. There’s a powerful force inside him, something that he’d never felt before. He writes about his childhood, about his pain and gets everything out of his system. Every word falls into place. Time goes flying and almost forgets to pick up Clementine.
When they come back home Clementine goes to play with her toys and he continuous writing.
A week has passed and he never called Jack. He was absorbed by his work. He is now blocked and doesn’t know how to continue. He needs a distraction. Clementine is at school and Jack’s at work.
He goes to St Sebastian anyway but finds out he is in surgery. He wonders how long will it take.
Jack finishes and goes to his office where Sawyer is waiting for him.
“Sawyer! How did you enter here?”
“I have my ways” he smiles. They kiss briefly and awkwardly after all the time that’s passed.
“I thought you forgot about me, when I said we should slow down I didn’t mean disappear.” He demands
“Jackass, you could have called me too”
“You said you’d call. The ball was in your yard and I didn’t want to …”
“Impose, I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, you’re here now” he takes Sawyer from the waist, grabs him firmly and kisses him deeply wanting to correct the previous pathetic kiss.
“I should get lost more often if this is the welcome I receive afterward.”
“I missed you so much”
“Yeah?” Jack smiles and nods quickly, knowing Sawyer still finds it difficult to express those kinds of feeling.
“So doc, I was hopin’ we can talk, I don’t know, get somethin’ to drink.”
“Oh, ok. Let me finish some papers and I’m free for the day.”
Sawyer nods and looks around the office where Jack has all his diplomas hung up. He graduated with honors in every one of them.
Damn, he thought. He was too good for him. He doesn’t deserve Jack, but quickly changes that chain of thought.
“Ok, I’m ready. You want to go my place or somewhere else?”
“Your place” Sawyer has a nut in his stomach now. He was fine but now he lost all his confidence.
Sawyer follows Jack’s car in his own till they reach Jack’s home.
Jack’s house is immaculate. Everything is in its place and cleaned, like nobody lives there.
“You want a drink?”
“Sure”
He serves two whiskies and they go to the couch.
“What did you wanna talk about?”
“You have to promise me you won’t laugh.” He says seriously.
“Sawyer, come on” Jack finds Sawyer’s fear very funny and laughs in his face.
“Forget it. I ain’t tellin’ anythin’ now!” Sawyer says very upset.
“Come on! Sawyer. It’s ok, you can trust me. Look, I’m serious. Tell me”
Sawyer remains in silence watching the picture in front of him. It’s a sad man with his hands crossed. Those hands look familiar, but he isn’t sure from where.
“Sawyer” Jack grabs his hands and assures him. “You can tell me anything, I’m here for you.”
“I don’t know how to say this…”
“Just say it, plain and simple.”
“I… I wanna be a writer.” He says ashamed.
“That’s great!” He grabs him in his arms. “Hey! Change that face! You are going to be a wonderful writer. I have no doubt about it. You are witty, sarcastic and sweet when you want it to be. That’s a pretty good cocktail for me”
Sawyer doesn’t look at him and says in a very low voice “I’m just so insecure about everythin’.”
“Don’t be. Look, every time I have a patient’s life in my hands I´m be terrified, but you have to take the risk. If you don’t, nothing happens. He dies anyway. You have to do it and maybe just maybe, if everything goes as it was planned and with the correct amount of luck, the patience lives.”
“We can’t compare patients with books, doc” he knows that’s not what Jack meant, but he is more comfortable in his own fear that out there in the open.
“I’m comparing the fear, the fear is the same. If you are scared, you paralyze. But you can do this! I’m so happy for you!”
Sawyer kisses him. He devours Jack’s tongue. Jack responds eagerly, allowing Sawyer’s tongue to tangle with his and bringing his hands to the back of Sawyer’s head.
Sawyer moves closer and feels him starting to get hard. He rubs against his thigh, and presses himself into it, wanting Jack to know he’s willing and getting there too. “Thank you” he whispers and Jack smiles at him.
Their lips are swollen and very hot. The intensity of every feeling is overpowering. Nobody leads this time. They just know what to do and how to do it. Their hips rocks back and forth against each other in perfect synchronicity.
Sawyer’s hands settle on Jack’s hips and guide his motions while Jack’s move over Sawyer’s arms, chest and nipples.
They continue kissing. Jack sucks Sawyer’s tongue and bites his lips now and then. Sawyer thinks about Jack’s cock and wants to taste it. It’ll be his first time and he doubts if he’ll be good at it.
He shoves down Jack’s pants and boxers and sees Jack’s cock furiously hard. He grabs it with his left hand and looks at Jack. Jack closes his eyes and exhales as Sawyer takes him in his mouth, swirling his tongue around his tip, tasting the moisture gathered there. It’s a weird taste for him, but he wants more of it nevertheless.
“Oh Sawyer” Jack mutters “Like that, yeah”. Sawyer takes it very slowly and savors Jack’s head very gently. He works his mouth downward toward the base, as Jack’s hips buck slightly toward him. Sawyer encourages him to keep bucking, he can take it.
Sawyers own cock is begging for attention. Not drawing his mouth of Jack, Sawyer fumbles blindly, pulling down his zipper and taking himself out. He begins to stroke himself in rhythm with his mouth’s movements on Jack.
Jack hears the sound of Sawyer’s zipper and glances downward. Sawyer’s hot wet lips are around him, his head bobs between his thighs, picking up the pace as his hand moves over his own cock urgently.
That picture is too much for him. “That feels so fucking amazing,” Jack gasps. His hips buck toward Sawyer’s face and his fingers tangle in Sawyer’s hair. The feeling of Jack’s cock sliding in and out of his mouth and Jack’s fingers entwined in his hair are taking him to the edge. He groans with the back of his throat as he never felt turned on by anything like this before. The sounds and vibration that he’s doing against Jack’s cock add extra pleasure and Jack can’t hold it anymore.
He comes with a guttural groan, losing control and emptying himself into the waiting mouth. Sawyer swallows and pulls his mouth from Jack, unable to stop himself from cursing out loud as he comes himself all over the floor.
Feeling dizzy, he places his head on Jack’s tight. Jack is trembling, breathing heavy. They remain like this for a while, both feeling completely at a loss.
“This is the first time I suck someone’s dick.”
“That was pretty perfect for me. Fill free to practice anytime.” He keeps breathing “With me, of course.”
They laugh and kiss slowly now that they released their charge.
“Will you let me read it?”
“When it’s finished. I’ve been writin’ the whole week, but now I’m blocked”
“Maybe you need someone to screw your brains out. Let’s go to my bed”
“Again? I’m empty Jack. That was pretty intense for me”
“Oh, come on old man! I saw what you can do. Besides we’ve been apart for so long.” He says as he kisses Sawyer’s neck so very gently.
They go to Jack’s bedroom and lay on the bed. Jack covers Sawyer with his body and starts kissing him everywhere. He can feel Sawyer’s arousal growing beneath the weight of his body and moves slowly against him, wanting to take the time to savor the moment. He feels Sawyer’s willing body underneath his own and their kisses grow deeper.
Jack leans back, breaking their kiss momentarily to see his beautiful body so hard and hot. That image makes his mouth waters. He stays still just looking at him.
“What?” Sawyer says sounding completely aroused.
“You’re so beautiful.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” He smiles.
Jack takes the opportunity of separation to tug off Sawyer’s boxer shorts. Sawyer sinks downward as he does so, his body relaxes into the mattress, stretching out and melting into its softness, ready for Jack to do whatever he wants to him.
Jack climbs back on top of Sawyer, eager to feel skin against skin. Sawyer moans lightly as Jack’s mouth returns to his. “I can’t believe I have you like this with me” Jack whispers.
Their legs are intertwined and their nipples rub against each other causing both of them groan. Sawyer is so high because of everything that he laughs out loud from the strong feelings. “What?” asks Jack. “Nothin’, I love how you touch me. Don’t stop.”
Sawyer loses himself in the sensations. He grabs Jack’s head and directs it to his neck. Jack takes the hint and kisses and licks Sawyer’s soft skin. Sawyer turns his head to his right giving Jack more space and Jack bites him very hard. The pain rapidly switches into pleasure and Sawyer gasps and groans. His cock throb against Jack’s as Jack licks the wound and caresses it with his tongue.
Their bodies fit together perfectly, fitting the curves with the angles. Every single movement they make sends a perfect shiver of arousal through their spines. Sawyer realizes that perhaps for the first time in his life, he is actually making love with someone, not just fucking. The feelings are so strong and intense. He wants to stay like this forever, shutting the rest of the world out. Just Jack and him.
The friction between their bodies becomes unbearable. Their tight and wet abdomens pressed together are the perfect place for their cocks to rub one another.
“I love this” Sawyer mumbles against Jack’s lips.
“Sawyer…” Jack suddenly gasps, his body tightening and freezing over Sawyer’s. He’s coming not trying to fight it or hold back, that causes Sawyer to lose it too.
It’s over in an instant and Jack finds himself lying on Sawyer, breathing heavily. Sawyer’s heart is beating wildly underneath Jack’s body. They lay like that for a long time, not saying a word. It’s a while before Jack regains enough control of his own body to lift his head and finds Sawyer. They kiss for quite a while.
It’s not until Jack pulls back from Sawyer’s kiss that he realizes that Sawyer’s face is stained with a few runaway tears. His brow furrows in concern.
“This was intense, right?” Sawyer checks with him.
“Yes. Good intense.”
Jack thinks about the past years. All the things that happened that come to an end point on this bed. He smiles at that thought. Apparently good stuff really comes after bad stuff happened.
“I wanted to say something to you for quite a while now but I don’t want you to freak out or anything” Jack warns him.
“Ok” Sawyer looks at him patiently.
“Well, now is weird.” This is not as casual as he wanted it to be. He tries to find the timing again.
“Let me guess doc. It starts with an I… continues with… let me think… love? … and finishes with you?… so what we got is an… I love you? I love you, doc”. Sawyer says the last sentence seriously. He means it.
“I think I love you more” says Jack and kisses him fiercely.
“For the record I said it first!” Sawyer teases.
“Not fair, I was about to tell you”
“Doc, I’m gonna talk to Clementine about this”
“Yeah you should. We could do something the three of us, right?”
“I have to pick her up. You wanna come with me?”
“Sure, I’m gonna take a bath first”
They went to the cinema to watch Wall-E and then to eat. It was weird for both of them. Sawyer thought everyone was looking at them, two grownups and a little girl. For a born and bred Southern Christian it was too much to handle even though he isn’t exactly
Christian.
“Hey, why so serious?”
“Too much”
“We’re just two friends and you happen to have a daughter. Big deal!”
Clementine grabs Jack’s hand and her dad’s. “Yeah right.” Sawyer says ironically.
Jack laughs. “Look if we are going to do this, we have to be strong. We survived the island, this should be easy”
That night, Jack went to his place and Sawyer and Clementine to theirs.
Sawyer puts Clementine to bed. “Clem, I need to talk to you.” She looks at his father seriously.
“I wanna tell you somethin’.” He pauses and she waits patiently.
“You know I love you right?”
“Yes daddy, I love you too”
“And I wouldn’t do anythin’ to harm you.” She says nothing. “I’m gonna tell you somethin’ but if you don’t like it, I’ll understand. You’ll have to tell me how you really feel about it ok?”
She waits for him.
“Well, the thing is that Jack and I… we… well what I’m trying to say is that he and me…” he can’t look at her eyes.
“He is your boyfriend, daddy?” She says casually. Sawyer now looks at her surprised.
“What? How? Well… yeah… but how did ya…?”
“I like him.”
“But…”
“Michael has two mums, Brian and Sarah have two moms and two dads, Helen has one mum, Peter has one dad just like me, and John has none but he lives with his grandma. And there’re also boyfriends and girlfriends of the mums and dads.”
“Who are they, school buddies?” She nods.
“So are you ok with this?”
She thinks about it.
“Yes, Jack is good.” Sawyer smiles at her and she adds “He would be my dad too?”
He panics. He doesn’t know how Jack will think about this. “Only if you want him to be” She likes the idea. “Can we all live together, daddy?”
“We’ll think of something, let’s not rush ok?”
She hugs him tightly and he as well. “You’re amazing and I love you so much, you know that right?”
“I love you too daddy”
“Sleep time baby.” He kisses her one more time, helps her with the bedspread and leaves the room.
He feels happy, something he’d never felt before. He feels loved.
