09:03 109,902: new capacity of my pants.

17:45 @ RJDanvers / One of us!

19:33 Hey all, @dafunkystar needs a ride to Chicago this weekend for Pitchfork. She has cash money and hash, honey.

21:36 Fuck my fucking fucked up life. Fuck. [FMFFULF]

22:32 @ onslowlovesme / Sigh.

22:43 Lebron is Moe, Dwayne is Larry, and Bosh is Curly.

16:16 @ MBPOPPiNS / "Oh, I see that you're the new, ahem... special assistant."

22:29 This channel with the commercials is great, because sometimes it shows baseball.

01:54 You're not your fucking spell check.

11:07 We lost Harvey Pekar today.

12:51 Law of averages: Cleveland loses an asshole, Cleveland loses a hero.

13:39 I got a crown today and have now dubbed myself King Lames.

17:15 I'm starting a secret spy organization composed of Hollywood rejects and outcasts. Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, Roman Polanski, Carrot Top.

17:16 With limitless wealth, ( Read more... )

07:30 @ XAngelusLapsusX / You look like Gaiman's Death.

11:43 @ XAngelusLapsusX / No, it's true, we're all retarded in a different way.

11:44 @ burnlab / I'll be drinking Orange Crush this afternoon.

11:55 @ burnlab / Sounds good.

23:02 Riding the lightning.

23:21 This afternoon, @burnlab busted out his Canon Powershot G10 for World Cup brunchery, with ( Read more... )

01:46 Kick the chair.

06:25 @ mattsinger / Just read Irredeemable #15. Think I figured it out.

15:18 Fantastic Four #412, first appearance of Reed Richards' Fantastimullet. $30.

08:54 Happy "You'll Never Win a Championship" Day

15:48 DUTCH

15:12 @ citizen_insane / And duct tape it to your laptop.

20:34 @ xitcutsx / Did you just marry the Ice King?

01:29 What's this stupid show with Ray Romano, that really black guy, and my dad? They hit on girls my age? Did I mention it's stupid?

01:32 Wait, my dad is in this show?

21:51 I wonder how many murders will go uninvestigated tonight. #fireworks