and . . . i'm off

...i'd forgotten how wonderful practicing is.  i've been back at fairly intensely for about a week and everyday i feel leaps and bounds better. yes! i am silly for forgetting why i'm here and what my current goals are.  growth through music...

i don't know how i feel anymore. 
about so many things. 
my mind is a pish-pot of emotions and reactions and reflection and mixations.

i'm suddenly ok with all of this.
do i just sit back and let things take their course? proactive or reactive?
i chose all of the above.
and i just keep living.
my mind a jumbled mess.  what's new?  not much!

summer ( Read more... )

Der Einsame

Nein: ein Turm soll sein aus meinem Herzen
und ich selbst an seinen Rand gestellt:
wo sonst nichts mehr ist, noch einmal Schmerzen
und Unsäglichkeit, noch einmal Welt.

Noch ein Ding allein im Übergroßen,
welches dunkel wird und wieder licht,
noch ein letztes, sehnendes Gesicht
in das Nie-zu-Stillende verstoßen,

noch ein äußerstes ( Read more... )

with a personality as intense as mine it's hard for me to not be manic all the fuckin time.

i've had a few rude awakenings, and now i'm going to tackle them as best as possible.

oh, to be in love.

i really can't complain about life right now.  my spirits are up and i'm feeling fucking wonderful.  i am learning many a wonderful thing and re-evaluating a whole load of other stuffs.  i have friends that i love so much.  and i love music more than ever before -- it controls my mind in very strange, unpredictable ways.  the weather is so purty.  ( Read more... )

hey, in case you were curious...i am alive.  my stay in minnesota was delightful.  i spent time with nick, drank a few beers, brought and picked my brother up from kindergarten everyday, and went on splendid bikerides in the wilderness with the latter.  now i'm back in florida.  and i'm ok with it.  classes are going to be engaging and interesting ( Read more... )

i leave for minnesota on thursday.

(will i come back?...probably not!)

R. I. P.


( Read more... )

all is well and swell.  i still take things day by day.  the recital went well.  sloppy singing at times (mostly becuase i was so terribly exhausted), but i successfully created atmosphere and, perhaps most importantly, i made music. both the poulenc and britten had life and freshness.  and there was a good showing of  those i'd hoped would be ( Read more... )