I once danced in the rain with the one I loved! I used to be ingaged but everything went to hell! After the relationship and after me getting beat up by 6 guys in a parking lot I lost all faith! I have told Matt this! My mom told me one day God was there with you in that parking lot making shure you survived! I thought to be blunt that she was full of shit! I believed if God was there then why did he not stop it in the first place?! These are some of the reasons I started my major addictions of sex, drugs, and alchol! Before all the pain in my relationship and living in my apartment at the time I used to be clean and never had done any of these things! I have been through Hell and still find myself lingering there feeding to excess or (feeding my addictions A lot)! Life is a very hard thing plus this world just keeps pulling me down! I have not really had that much happiness as I used to have! In my poetry I usually talk about a shell of a man trying to have light cracking through! I know this sounds depressing! I am sorry about that
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Re: I have a memorymind4treasonApril 25 2004, 11:36:23 UTC
Even though sometimes our greatest memories bring the worst pain, sometimes i think it's better to at least have those memories. I'm glad the quote made you think of a happier time, but i am sorry that you have had to deal with a lot of crap. Above you said, "I have not really had that much happiness as I used to have!" Do you think that maybe God was your source of happiness?
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