it's april and im still wearing my winter coat. my emotions have been more consistently centered. perhaps it was all the sunshine and skirt wearing weather that i finally received or perhaps it was my amazingly inspirational trip to New York city. godddd do i miss that city. and i will be back, i promise....i still get freaked out about the future ( Read more... )

i hope im not materializing these negative obsessions with certain characteristics of certain individuals. ive never had problems getting along with anyone like i do in the space where i reside. i just hope that i am not dying on the inside and becoming cold and apathetic. maybe its just seasonal bitterness or maybe not. either way i need a new ( Read more... )

tomorrow bitterly cold weather and all i want is a warm breeze and grassy hills made of moss and lime greeen beatles. but all will be well within time. and time is nothing.

so far behind with the biopsych readings its really starting to piss me off, mostly at myself and half at the shitty weather. this semester is surely going to be interesting. i hope i can finally get out of this dull stagnant state of mind. its as if my perceptions are so colorless and almost jaded....maybe i need the sun and 70degree weather. i ( Read more... )

i started feeling better that day after i talked to brandon five minutes before work. i had waited the whole day to tell him all that was bothering me and yet i waited until i had to rush to be on time for work. and work has been fun. although i have concentrated on that more than going to most of my classes this week. tonight we all had a bonding ( Read more... )

i have not been myself for the past few days. these past few months ive had moments that almost reached the limits of yesterday. ups and downs i never felt before. and i know it has a lot to do with my academics and finishing this degree and this overwhelming fear that i wont be able to get accepted into the grad schools of my choice. its more than ( Read more... )

dreams that i dream of are becoming more real than ever. lately upon waking up i wonder if those events had actually occurred. perhaps they might in the future....other than that i started working at ART mart, they call us art martians, and im really enjoying everything about this job. classes start tomorrow and i dont quite feel fully excited. ( Read more... )

i listened to this pavement song in matts apartment last year. it all seems so far away. the way my college career began. we pretended we were in a space ship outside of allen hall and listened to tribe and ate a picnic on the dirtiest floor i have ever seen. and now it is all so much different. i no longer have to swipe my icard and i have my own ( Read more... )

burn burn burn for it all. give and receive, fully receive. surrender yourself to each moment and persist to persevere even when we you no longer think you can. and shine on shine on shine on. laugh in the face of love. let go let go let go. recognize that every one you meet is indispensable filled with value ( Read more... )

this house has been burning with so much energy recently. so much amazing drama has happened. i have lost a loved one and so did nicolette. Her beautiful beautiful cat/best friend had been hit by a car yesterday afternoon and it was the most heartbreaking event i have ever witnessed. she died instantly, this cat that i have grown to love and live ( Read more... )