My life my self nothing seems right anymore and I just want to run away. escape from everything. Where do I have to go.... I cant even get skinny.

 I thought things were starting to get better... then i looked in the mirror.
 I thought we were happy then you told me we weren't.
 I keep screaming.... I don't know why no one hears me

I think I'm just finally giving in. I'm fucking miserable and I feel like the harder I try to get my life in order and find the things I want the more screwed up my life gets. I've been feeling so lonely lately so I decided to make some new friends and of course they brought a shit storm into my life I don't know why I can't be Just friends with ( Read more... )

I cant believe I'm going to have another birthday as a huge fat ass! I hate myself I must do better I must be skinny skinnier skinniest!

For the Love of Nancy ( Read more... )

Its the second day of my new plan and again i've FAILED!! Thats all i do i'm a big fat fat fat failure! My familys leaving tomorrow so i will do good! but i just want to scream and cry and cut. 

6:00 a.m.

wake up/jogg

7:30 a.m.

yoga

8:00 a.m.
9:00 a.m.

laundry/
cleaning

10:00 a.m.

reading/
knitt

11:00 a.m.

feed bryce

11:30 a.m.

write Jay

12:00 p.m.

relax/
watch something

2:30 p.m.

hiking

4:15 p.m.

rearange
dresser

6:00 p.m.

worout with
kenna

7:30 p.m.

clean

8:00 p.m.

put bryce to
bed

10:00 p.m

bed

DAYCALORIESWATEREXERCISEWEIGHTWEIGHT
LOSS10 32 oz 2 hours 10 minn/a  2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     11     12     13     14     15     16     17     18     19     20     

Amount allowed                                                                             Amount i had

• day1: 500 calories(or less)                                                                     500 eww
• 
  day2: 500 calories(or less)
• 
  3:300 calories
• 
  4:400 calories
• 
  5: 100 calories

Current weight 122 eww
highest weight 128
lowest weight 103

First goal weight 115 ( by monday 29th )
second goal weight 108
third goal weight 100
Then 95
then 88 :)

I cant wait i cant wait i cant wait! i need this i need to be skinny i need to be so tiny so so so tiny