so, i completely just fucked myself over. completely fucked. i found someone who i'm pretty sure i want to be in a relationship with. and it turns out that he has liked me for a long time. and i just figured out how much he means to me, how perfect he is for me, and he's leaving tomorrow at 5 am to go back to the army. fuck.

i figured out how to set up the home internet connection on my laptop all by myself. huzzah.

i wonder what it feels like to die. everyone says you see a light, but what the fuck does everyone know? everyone hasn't been dead before. the idea of ceasing to exhist blows my mind. something has to happen to the concept of "you"--"you" can't just stop being. it's a scientific thing, maybe? as in the whole "you can't destroy matter" law. can your ( Read more... )

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i saw this girl walking across the square. she was rather frumpy, with pants that were too short and an awkward gait. but she had such a smile on her face--a smile that made me want to go and hug her and tell her i was happy for her. and she walked in such a way that her joy leaked onto the pavement: her arms swung in grand strides and her hair ( Read more... )

i keep hearing the songs that the radio bob band covers on the radio.

i refuse to be the girl who people turn to when there's no one else. i absolutely refuse. this has gone on too long. everyone who has done that to me can go fuck themselves. i'm better off living alone in a rundown new york city apartment with a bunch of stray cats than spending one more minute with any of you ( Read more... )

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i hate people. and i hate myself. and i hate my life.

so, my cat died today. my baby.