Not so long ago, my life used to be sorrow… vast & wide, a chasm of lonely rocky purgatory that I was flung into the moment my Viking was flung from his steed into his own unknown abyss of darkness. I spent months in a despair, climbing onto various ledges and facades, just to have fickle wild forces push me off. Endlessly freefalling down, ( Read more... )

goddamn it Livejournal, what the fuck happened to your interface ( Read more... )

i missed you every second of my day today. i woke up alone, waiting for you to come back to bed & warm me up in your arms, but you weren't there. i went back to sleep and waited for you to come, but again, nothing. i had feverish dreams that i couldn't remember, but woke up thinking of you. i didn't want to get out of bed without you there, ( Read more... )

i am not afraid to die. i haven't been for a long time, since the age i realized that the meaning of life is to walk through this world as yourself, improving as you learn. up until now, i;ve had no regrets. even now, not moving to madison isn't totally a regret - just something that got waylaid and put off by life an ended up changing my life ( Read more... )

The funeral was so strange. I woke up that day dreaming of him, crying. I think he was trying to comfort me, and when I looked in the mirror that day, I felt beautiful, and I felt his eyes looking back at me through mine ( Read more... )

So I haven’t been feeling the compulsion to write, but I’ve still been wanting to. I want to write about the funeral, my beliefs, about how he’s only changed me for the better, how he made me feel beautiful, about my memories of him & how they affect me these days… but I’ve been distracted by other things. I’ve been trying to make new memories so ( Read more... )

since my viking died, today marks ( Read more... )

a topic i'd planned to muse about before. however, the last day has done a lot to shed light on it, or confuse me, considering that even though i feel him, even though i feel like i wake up crying into his chest, even though i feel his arms around me to comfort me, even though the nearly healed tattoo still burns, i'm so lonely without him here. ( Read more... )

i had decided my next entry here was going to be about electricity and magnetism, and the bizzare physical connection of thick electricity through time & space that we shared ( Read more... )

pablo neruda ( Read more... )