[] anorexic ( Read more... )

ive returned after 9 months. and i see that my last post says i was 11 stone 4lbs, but now i am 10 stone 6! i was able to get under 11 stone without too much hard work, but ive worked hard to lose the past 3lbs ( Read more... )

it's been a few years since i returned to these journals. my weight has gone up and down. i now know that its time for me to return to that wanting self, that need to be thin. im 5'11 and weigh 11 stone 4 pounds eek! i eat like a pig but no more, seriously. im not just writting this for others im writting it for myself. my boyfriend said today ( Read more... )

RADIOHEAD- HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY ( Read more... )

well, over christmas i failed! basically. i ate and ate and ate. eating when i felt like it and everything bad! at university i had set up a routine and not eating much didnt bother me, but going home meant i went back to all my old eating habits. But when i went back to uni its taken a few days to get back to not eating much but i think im doing ( Read more... )

well this weekend was so bad i cant even remember what ate or drank. all i know is what food was given to me i tried to eat as little as possible, although again it does not excuse the amount i drank. Remind me that weddings can in no way equal eat less!! although i was given the chance to weigh myself and i now weigh 154lbs which is a loss of ( Read more... )

im back home from a night out drinking!! and the worst nights drinking posssible. i did well during the day. had a banana and 9 cream crackers. but as im at university a night out is predictable! ive had 3/4 a bottle of white wine. 2 shots, 3 trebles of malibu and coke!! and an alcohol pop drink. i feel so bad i hate myself. although i find eating ( Read more... )

"and for a breif second i feel strong. not strong enough to face myself, but strong enough to keep going"

well its been another difficult day. I woke up early so i would have to miss breakfast and lunch. But i knew i had a lecture at 2 and would therefore need to eat something otherwise my stomach would rumble. But like me i ate the stupid options. i had a 2-finger kit kat and a cereal bar. Then my friend put in front of my some madeira cake and said ( Read more... )

its the beginning of my journels, and this new attitude i have to food. It all began when i realised i would need to fit into my bridemaids dress and so i cut down on my food. yet i cannot get out of the habit of not wanting to eat and i dont want to ( Read more... )