flash back, forward, and rewind again (and yes the tenses are fucked up)

[misanthropic_c]

...nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return.
milan kunderai don't want to return to my past as it was; i'd like to go back and rearrange it so that i could build a foundation for a more fulfilling future than the one that i have come to know

Comments

A sigh of anticipation and fear

[jennizane]

I know the feeling of emptiness well. Could it be that turning 30 (and approaching 30) is just full of emptiness? I don't know. I do know that my life less accomplishments and more moments in time and pain leave me feeling empty too.

Where was I on your 21st birthday? I have heard that story but its fun to read it again-mainly because of the moment in time element. It sounds of mixed enmotions and most definitely of interesting company.

Well, writing program-still a bitch. Could there be a connection? lol....Here's to future days.

Re: A sigh of anticipation and fear

[misanthropic_c]

you were in sf during all of this. i spent quite a bit of time with her after you two left.

Well, writing program-still a bitch. Could there be a connection? lol....Here's to future days.

LOL!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps. Along with the fact that she probably is a damned good writer.

But yes, the night was amusing.

[lamamichula]

oh chandra i'm sorry to not tell you happy birthday on time, i'm sure i'll be super obsessed with my age as soon as i get closer to the big 3-0, i'm already obsessed with my age and the way i look and the fact that i still wear the same kinda clothes that i used since i was, say 16 or something, i dunno, i don't wanna know, ageing has been very hard since i remember my 6th birthday, it was so fun to be 5 forever, i just can tell yoy tahat i love you.

[misanthropic_c]

i'll take a happy birthday from you anytime, irina. It is a bit wierd being 30, but at the same time, I'm also proud that I've managed to remain here despite social institutions, and interpersonal interactions that I was never meant to thrive or survive in. So, now I wield around my age like a grenade.
When we come visit you or when you come back here, we'll all have to talk about this stuff!

pleaseee!

[lamamichula]

i'll be more than happy to talk with you ladies about it and more than happy to visit you there and welcome you here too!

HBD

[seventimes]

does a happy birthday from a 35 y/o mean something here? :-)
I can assure you life is not over after 30 as youngsters might claim, is also not starting after 30 as some older wannabe youngsters would say. Is just there. Same old same old, things are gradually changing and eventually things go slower.
The process of aging is an evolutionary, not a revolutionary one.

I didn't believe this either, back then...

Re: HBD

[misanthropic_c]

thanks eelco, i will keep those words of wisdom in mind. :)

i do have a glimmer of hope that somethings will get better now, though. I think I can allow myself that small amount of optimism. ;)