I really dont even know where to start.  Thats really all i ever say anymore.  My mind is just a big jumbled mess.  I've got so many things running through my mind... that i dont know ( Read more... )

and it hasnt gotten much better.  i want my brother back.  i never thought it would hurt this bad.  i miss him so much.  i need my big brother back in my life.  he is.... he will always be my big brother, the most compassionate guy in the world.

im just scared.  and a nervous wreck sometimes.

and sometimes i dont know where to turn to.

i broke my own heart ( Read more... )

i really suck at school.  i have sucked at it for a long time and to this day, i still dont know why i am even in college.  i dont get good grades, and without good grades, i dont think i'll be able to get into PT school.  oh well i guess.  im gonna try and make the best of it ( Read more... )

last night was weird between scotty and i.  last night was the first night that i thought i could never give him what he needed.  when he said, "its not your job to make me feel better.  its always my job to make you feel better."... that just hurt in so many ways ( Read more... )

i miss him so much more than i ever thought i would.  i think i just keep thinking about how im gonna see him in about two weeks, but still.  its been so long since i last saw him at his school.  that was such a good visit.  i cant get over how unbelievably good it was :) for the exception of one night.  he just means so much to me.  i cant imagine ( Read more... )

could i possibly be depressed?

my sister thinks i need to see a therapist.

to help get all of my inner demons out and deal with them in a good way.

why do i feel so fucked up?

 ugh damnit i just lost my whole thing i was typing ( Read more... )

i really dont know where to begin.. or start.  or anything ( Read more... )

i really dont know what to do..

why am i so unhappy?