2000

[miss_obese]

2000 calories or around there today, the 500 (maybe only 400, I didn't really count that while binging) was on a brownie-cookie and 5 big pieces of candy just now while I was logging in.

This thing is for life, right?
I've been fucked up as long as I remember.
Lifelong cycle of wanting to eat right, binging and then frequent purging.
I wonder when it

Comments

[thunderthighs73]

\your day has been very similar to mine...healthy and at around 1700...then cam the rocky road, the chocolate swiss rolls, and the blueberry cheesecake is in the fridge begging to come and live on my enormous thighs...
I think this is for life. Like alcoholism - it fills head space and is distracting from shittier things to think about - - an anesthetic of sorts. There's a reason we're like this. It is just a matter of management, I think - being as safe as possible while we suffer with an ugly disorder.
I will always worry about food and carbs and calories and fat ... but i may be able, at some point, to refuse the urge to binge and purge; at least most days. I hope, anyway.
love ya dollface

[miss_obese]

oh hoh hoh how I hear you, every day with a perfectly balanced amount of calories... and then came the stuffing of the face and wrecked everything! I'm so tired of it.
I'm glad you think positive a little bit though, I believe you can manage your life! I have to believe I can too, I just don't right now... Stupid stupid ED takes my focus from everything!

[thunderthighs73]

yes, m'am, it does...doesn't just distract me from the things i hate...but also from the things i love. :( stupid fuckin food. i hate it. and i lust after it. and i hate it.
but i just love you :) x