Hm.

May 20, 2010 22:33

I find it quite fascinating that, when I asked you to rate your own success, many of you wanted me to state what my success metrics were, to enable you to answer the question ( Read more... )

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Comments 23

hirez May 20 2010, 22:02:26 UTC
You asked English people. (+ Expats, obv.)

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miss_soap May 20 2010, 22:09:26 UTC
I'm English too; I don't measure my success by others'.

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hirez May 20 2010, 22:26:18 UTC
Indeed not.

I think it's the longer version of what you get when you ask an American[1] how they are. They'll go 'Great!' (or similar). Here? 'Can't complain', 'Fair to middling'. No-one likes a show-off.

So ask the English if they're successful and you'll get a set of answers along the lines of 'Mustn't grumble.' (Rather than 'I'm shit-hot with computers and I get paid to muck around with them in an office environment that's easily as much fun as a start-up without VC twattery. I can also demonstrably write better than 99% of the population because I get paid to make shit up. I have excellent friends, too. Yeah, I think I'd call that a success.' But, y'know, who wants to be a show-off?)

[1] In America. Not exacly a large sample, anecdotes != data, etc.

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spoox May 21 2010, 10:27:19 UTC
The plural of anecdote is evidence.

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spoox May 20 2010, 22:24:52 UTC
>You all learned to walk, talk, read and write. Those alone are amazing successes. If you've managed happiness en >route, then I think you've won.

I totally disagree. I see success as being something that you rate against the people that you specifically consider yourself to be in competition with. Just about everyone can walk, talk, read and write. You can be happy without being envied. I think the measure of success is whether other people envy you. I don't envy people with down syndrome for example. For me, success is all about being better than other people.

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drreagan May 20 2010, 22:35:38 UTC
Individually, those things you mentioned are successes in their own right. However, taken as a whole, i wouldn't say achieving those == succeeding. In fact, if those were one's only successes, I'd suggest that would be at the lower end of what I'd call the success/fail scale.

Maybe this is why I didn't answer your original question. Doesn't the fact that someone else is asking what your successes are invite the possible interpretation that its about what other people view your successes to be?

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liz_lowlife May 20 2010, 22:47:05 UTC
I measure my success by "what I personally want to achieve" against "what I have actually achieved."
I do not compare myself to others.

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inulro May 21 2010, 08:22:04 UTC
Me too. Unfortunately, by my own standards I'm a complete loser.

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misspotsitt May 21 2010, 10:15:00 UTC
I am much the same, though sometimes I wonder if my aspirations are driven by my perception of what I need to achieve and so is driven by others.

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inferis May 21 2010, 07:07:38 UTC
Happiness is transient though.

(In that it sleeps in unexpected doorways waiting for you to trip over it, and occasionally it gets pissed on)

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