I am in vienna. It is beautiful. That is all.

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oh japan ( Read more... )

I'm sorry. The wedding was a LIE, although the responses I got in some sense made me wish it was true, or at least made me wonder what it would be to make that decision - whether i ever ever could. Safe to say, I think, that NO is the answer. However much i want the dress, i don't have the chutzpah ( Read more... )

sometimes... ah! how to explain. I'm no longer the fearful, shell-like thing who sobbed into her hand next to the departure gates. I'm brave, and I have always seen the off-white dress, the second hand victorian underwear dress with the low neck. And so, after the third bottle of cheap french merlot I am getting married to a japanese man i just met ( Read more... )

the sun has touched the mornings with little blue fingers; in turn, the mornings reach out to me and alight with a spring. trees are once again autumn colours. colours!the mountains have just a frosting of sugar snow. “february is the coldest month”, the eliot-inspired harbingers whispered. they lied ( Read more... )

nails tiny as ever ( Read more... )

today's headlines ( Read more... )

Maybe it's SADS... I don't know. A 12-hour roundtrip day for a job that I don't care about and the kids are just serially rude. I'm feeling so irritated and upset most of the time; I come home now and i can't decide whether to sleep or drink or throw myself at the wall. I do try to be positive, but it's hard when the hollow of my chest and the back ( Read more... )

Morning is just a few lilac cracks in the curtains. Meanwhile, this is a subdued heaven: sleeping unpenerated by carcrash burglar ejaculation dreams, or the shrill bell of the alarm; my cushion which forms a makeshift bedstead falling and cocooning my head; lazily waking up making weak tea; debbie harry giving me little trembles of excitement; ( Read more... )