yeah i said it....fuck it

[missamyclay]

There are some people in my little world that I let continually hurt me. I cant cut them loose because whether I like it or not they are family and I love them. It doesnt matter how old I get and how "in control" I feel within seconds they manage to exploit my emotions until I feel infantile. And if one more fucking person tells me that I should

Comments

[missmonkey]

aww dollface :(

love you very much.

[missamyclay]

thanks. yeah i called my dad when i was on the cape with work to tell him about martha's vineyard and my interview earlier in the week. he told me how proud he was blah blah blah. when i mentioned that maybe we would go to the cape when he comes to see me in october he paused and then told me he wasn't going to be able to afford it before the end of the year because he's going duck hunting in canada with a friend of my older brothers. WTF! i was just stunned. seemed like as soon as he said it outloud he realized how shitty it was and then just started apologizing saying that he knows its probably not the best decision and that he probably shouldnt have agreed to go etc. i then just coldly said "its fine". after that he said "no no honey its not fine. i'm so sorry." i cried and hung up. now he's booked his flight to come here in october solely out of guilt. its fucked but whatever. way to go dad.

[sistaspandex]

I don't speak to my mom's family anymore because they're fucked. I feel bad sometimes, of course, but it's just not worth the drama and stress they bring into my life. But they're always in my thoughts and prayers and maybe one day we'll both be evolved enough to have a relationship.

It's good that your dad is still coming. It's not out of guilt. It's because he cares.