they were, after all, an extra set of parents for eight-plus years, which is still a sizable chunk of my life. and now it takes a lot more work to stay in touch, since visiting them at holidays is both trickier (since i can't be there at the same time as their daughter) and easier to put off ( Read more... )

Ever feel like you're Charlie Brown, life is Lucy, and love's the football?

I can't complain. Just got the wind knocked out of me, that's all. I'm sure I'll be perfectly fine tomorrow...and back to chasing footballs in no time.

1. A half-hour of chatting with folks in the Main Room.
2. Taught a piano lesson.
3. Taught an Algebra class.
4. Served on Judicial Committee.
5. Taught a Spanish class.
6. Attended School Meeting.
7. Played capture-the-flag for an hour or so.

when i left work this afternoon, something pulled me right instead of left. as i was stepping into my car, an image came into my mind of the banks of Clear Creek, which runs through a park not far from the school. i occasionally go there when i have to kill time between school and some evening event ( Read more... )

Walking home from
early voting, I
pass a scattered
handful of homeless
men stretched out,
sleeping in the
sunny park where,
yesterday, exuberant thousands
came together to
hail their leader.

Lately, I've been contemplating the degree to which my involvement with this school is roughly analogous to having a child: an inexplicably deep, almost irrational love, powerfully exhausting and occasionally exasperating; an open-ended commitment that constrains so many other choices/life options (e.g., travel, a nice house, savings ( Read more... )

I wonder if the kids
at school realize the extent
of the sacrifices that have
enabled them to enjoy this
life-changing experience.

And then I wonder if my parents'
generation asked the same question.

To grossly oversimplify, there are three aspects of my current life that have me really dissatisfied: no girlfriend/partner, so little money that my choices are constrained, and that fact that I do not live in a place that feels like Home. Put 'em all together, add in the fact that I'm 41 and feel as though I should have figured out at least some ( Read more... )

busy. just survived concert week. worked six hours at school today, putting in at least two more tonight on school and freelancing stuff. wish i had more conversations with my friends. nervous about the school's long-term future, wondering where i'll be this time next year, and the year after that. where would i live if i moved? what would i do? ( Read more... )

in a way how the loneliness can suddenly bite and i can stare at it as if i just stubbed my toe this mysterious pain screaming at me yet somehow it's distant like watching someone else i guess this is what they call dissociation maybe i'm just tired