When did I get this earth mother calming goodness? Nevermind I shouldn't question the goodness but just do a bell kick out of happiness over it all. Well, I'M calm(er). It's like the moment one person gets balanced, to a reasonable degree, someone else is off. My best girl is going through some issues that sound impossibly similar to a few of my ( Read more... )

Thanks to Katie, I am finally calm. I don't know I just had a complete freak-out moment, complete with hysterical sobbing and smeared eyeliner. How tragicoemo circa 2000. I was definitely overreacting, but after behaving like an insane bitch with no witnesses, I finally got that dirty work out of the way. And then I came to a conclusion ( Read more... )

Long talk with Charlie last night. I think...I think I finally understand his reasoning. It might not be the way I would've thought to handle things, but I sort of get it. I'm still very, very sad that we aren't together right now, especially after it was made abundantly clear yesterday that we don't have the slightest clue how to be "just friends ( Read more... )

Far away ( Read more... )

This isn't working for me. Not talking to you is driving me insane. Anytime I see something that makes me smile, I want to tell you. Anytime something is really annoying, I want to vent to you. Yesterday was the longest day of my life and then I saw two little girls running around at the Block at the movie theaters, playing "pretend" and all I ( Read more... )

I hate people looking at me. In "that" way. You know what I mean. I was at Dave and Buster's (a move that proved to be fatal on so many levels) and made two solo trips to the bathroom. Along the way I was pretty much raped by several sets of eyes. Not to mention the catcalling and comments. I felt like throwing up. This morning, while going for a ( Read more... )

Shoot me in the fucking head.

Please.

It was perfect. Charlie and I went to Laguna Beach and it was the most fun I had had in ages. Beautiful weather, beautiful area, too many beautiful peoplem and my beautiful love ( Read more... )

It can't be helped. I'm trying to get everything under control before Katie gets here and then we face the world. That is, the world that will be present at the O.C. Fair. But the urge to release some primal, animalistic scream (as opposed to coolly and civilly typing out rage, frustration, hopelessness, fury, etc. nice and neat as you would have ( Read more... )

I'm so stressed out I really wish I had some self-destructive obsessive-compulsive behavior that would keep my mind off of things.