Saturday Night Open Mic

[mistersleepless]

I am suffused with hatred for all humankind tonight.

Explain to me why I should not kill you.

-- W

Comments

[miintikwa]

Because it would open this horrible Kill Bill style revenge thing, during which you'd be bludgeoned to death with a concrete dildo by my best friends.

[winterknight]

Yes, but would you all sign releases and wait for me to get there with the cameras?

[januarychill]

Because I really very badly want to see you kill everyone else first, so when I go I can go peacefully knowing that no one is suffering, nobody is starving children or kicking kittens, no one is laying in a battle zone trying to hold their insides in and wondering how it all happened when all they wanted was to raise goats and be a grandpa, nobody is empty inside and selling themselves for drugs to make them forget it, nothing is wrong with the world, everything really is okay, even if it's just because there are no people left to fuck it up, and then I never have to think about it again and I can die. Would you take care of that, please? I really like the thought of deer wandering down Broadway in afternoon sunlight.

[mistersleepless]

In a world like ours, the deer on Broadway would still try to sell you anal sex and heroin.

[januarychill]

Then clearly the only answer left is total nuclear annihilation.

[ibm]

Working on it, working on it, working on it.

[mlewys]

Killing is such an intimate act. Are you sure there's enough of you to go 'round?

[mistersleepless]

I am rich and determined.

[mlewys]

Point. Testing the lengths of your endurance. Start with the slow ones of the herd first. The rest will run and die tired.

[daoistraver]

it would be too much trouble to hunt me down, when there are so many more local folks to kill first.

[mizkit]

I challenge you to a death match thumb-wrestling contest over that second claim.