Oh crappy poem you were fun to write....

[mistiewatkins]

The Poetry Thursday prompt for this week was to use their random word generator and write a poem. I looked every time I went on-line and was struck by many words: balm, awry, seed, ripple, umber, and acidic to name a few. However the only word that I used in my poem is seed. I'm not sure anything will come of this poem, mostly because it's very

Comments

[anonymous]

Very vivid pictures in my mind and poignant...
I think it's a poem people can easily relate to as well.

Quick hint...fourth to last line, the word "hymns" letters got shifted.

nice job! like the mustard seed analogy..

[mistiewatkins]

Thanks for the hint. My fingers get ahead of my brain some of the time.

I'm glad that it is relatable.

[anonymous]

Hey Mistie, I also liked the mustard seed. I thought your poem was very poignant. Well done. I wonder whether you need "No matter the reason" in the second to last line?

[mistiewatkins]

I hadnt' thought about that but that's not a bad idea. THanks for the feedback.

[anonymous]

Hey Mistie, I also liked the mustard seed. I thought your poem was very poignant. Well done. I wonder whether you need "No matter the reason" in the second to last line though?

[irishnutt]

I don't think this would be a hard poem to revise. You've written down what you want the poem to _say_, now you just have to make it _sing_. Now write a draft where you don't try to say anything, just trust your images and listen to the sounds of the words. You know, it might be fun to use the hymn or ballad form for this or drop lines from hymns into the poem here and there. You know that they say the ballad form used to be so familiar and a way of retelling stories that were so familiar that the songs were almost a collaboration between the bard and the community? Isn't that cool?

Do you like me acting like I'm your poetry teacher? Sorry. :b By the way, at the beach I always sing "How Great Thou Art." I don't care what you believe, that's a beautiful poem:

"O Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder
consider all the worlds thy hand hath made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed,
then sings my soul, my savoir God to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!"

[irishnutt]

Man, I just reread my comments and thought, "All the people who link this from PT are going to think I'm an awfully bossy cat."

Maybe I am. You know, Mistie, just 'cause I'm your big sister doesn't mean you can't tell me to shut up about your poem if you feel like it.

[mistiewatkins]

I don't mind. I need a little bossiness now and then. Also I did ask for helpful comments and ideas.

Crafty Green Poet

[anonymous]

I really enjoyed this, it flows well and the ending is excellent! If you're going to edit it further, I don't think it needs much more than a polish.