For thelionforreal
Recipient: thelionforreal
Author: kaitoujeanne
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Variations On The Death Of Sirius Black
1. The Motorcycle Accident
Sirius had a flying motorcycle. He loved it, opting to use it whenever he could. "Brooms," he said, "are a thing of the past." "You'll have to pull it out of my dead hands," he said.
They were all young. James and Lily were engaged. Sirius's cousin Andromeda Tonks had a small daughter. Things were going as well as they could at that time; sure, they knew about Voldemort, and they were losing friends -- who wasn't? They were gritting their teeth through their smiles.
The motorcycle accident was a sudden and tragic thing. The result of living life too fast and too well. Remus didn't want to know the specifics; it was just too painful to think about. Sirius was gone.
"You'll be our best man, won't you?" James asked while Lily shook with tears, quietly, in the living room.
"I will," Remus said.
"You'll be the baby's godfather, won't you?" James asked when Lily started growing round a year or so later.
"I will," Remus said.
"You'll be our secret keeper, won't you?" James asked while Lily was packing their things to leave for Godric's Hollow.
"I will," Remus said.
2. Hallowe'en Night
James and Lily had gone with Pettigrew instead of Sirius as their secret keeper. Remus didn't know this until he found Pettigrew standing over Sirius's body, draped over the front stoop of James and Lily's front porch, the Dark Mark floating above the house.
"It's over, Remus," Pettigrew said, his wand out, his hand bleeding from a deep canine-looking bite. "For Sirius, James, Lily, baby Harry. It's all over. The Dark Lord is inside, and he will--"
And Remus killed him. He dragged Pettigrew out into the gutter, turning him face-down onto the road.
He didn't want to go inside. He couldn't go inside.
Sirius's body he took with him, carrying him all the way back to St. Mungo's. "He's already dead," the healers said as they rushed to him, but Remus shook his head.
"Make him presentable," he said. "Tonight he died a hero."
"Will you be paying for the funeral?" they asked him.
He pressed his lips together, looked at the ragged edges of his robes, and sighed. "Yes," he said. "Yes, I will."
3. In Azkaban
They never tell you what happens to the prisoners after they go into Azkaban. Azkaban is death itself; once you're in, you don't come out the same, if at all. You hear rumours, now and then, of those who had died and those who went mad and then died.
It was a form letter, sealed with black wax, and it arrived the same day as a letter from Dumbledore.
"The prisoner known as Sirius Black has died.
He died without regret or remorse for the horrendous crimes he committed against wizardry.
Sincerely,
The Department of Magical Law Enforcement."
Remus had considered him dead long ago, that Sirius Black had died on Hallowe'en 1981, the night he betrayed James and Lily. That was nearly twelve years before. Harry was almost thirteen.
He pitched it into the dustbin, poured himself another cup of tea, and opened the letter from Dumbledore.
4. The War
Everything had escalated. No more hiding in houses, no more stealth attacks. They were on the battlefield, their tents on the other side of the hill.
Harry was their leader now, thin and strong at seventeen, and Sirius and Remus sat beside him until the early hours of the night, discussing strategy until Harry dropped asleep on top of the map.
"It's a lot of responsibility for him," Remus said as he dimmed the lights and closed Harry's tent as he and Sirius left for their own.
"He can handle it," Sirius replied. "James could have."
"Except he's not James," Remus said. "He's not."
Sirius looked back over his shoulder towards Harry's tent. "I know," he said.
The morning was cold and clear. Remus watched Hermione walk across the camp on morning patrol, her hair cropped short. "They're looking for a tumbleweed," she'd said the day she cut it all off. "I'm not going to give them one to aim at." Her efforts to get Ron to dye his hair brown went ignored.
They were going to cross the hill and take them on at the head. Snape and the young Malfoy were there; Padfoot had crept up to the borders of their camp to hear what he could, and he had reported back their presence. "Finally, a chance to get Snivellus," he'd said, stretching out on the floor of Harry's tent. "I'm getting too old to be padding around like that. Don't know how McGonagall did it for so long."
They thought they could get them by surprise.
Snape was already there, his wand ready. "Sectumsempra!"
And Sirius fell, bleeding.
Remus dragged him back down the hill, back into the trees. He could hear Hermione screaming for Ron, Tonks yelling that Harry had killed Draco Malfoy, and none of it mattered.
"Sirius," he said. "Sirius, I'm here. It's going to be over soon. All of it."
Sirius nodded, his face white, and that was it.
Remus was alone, and he began to howl.
5. In Old Age
"You should come live with us," Harry said. "Just come and be our Snuffles. We'll take good care of you. The kids love you, the grandkids love you. Please, Sirius."
"Thank you, Harry, but no," Sirius said. "I'm doing just fine here."
Remus poured them both another cup of tea. "Just keep visiting us, Harry. We don't see much of anyone anymore, and we like to see the children, even the grown-up ones."
"Did you give them the map yet?" Sirius asked as he took his cup from Remus.
"Not until they're at least third years," Harry said. "It's not good for them to go out exploring just yet."
"You're getting too old, Harry," Sirius said, and they all laughed.
"I better get home," Harry said as he stood up, his knees creaking. "You know how they worry when old Granddad is out too late."
"Bah," Sirius said. "You'd think you'd be used to people worrying about you by now, what with us and all."
"We haven't had much to worry about lately," Remus said, "thanks to you."
Harry held up a hand in protest, putting on his cloak. "Please, you two. Stop it."
"No matter how old you are, you're still the Boy who Lived," Remus said.
"And now I'm the Old Man who's Late for Supper with the Grandkids," Harry said. "Good night, you two," and he Apparated out.
Sirius turned to look at Remus, who was still sitting at his bedside. "Do you think I should go? Go be Snuffles for the rest of my life, curled up by Harry's fireplace?"
Remus smiled. "And then where would I be?"
"There's a spot for you by Harry's fireplace too, I'm sure." Sirius said with a grin.
During the quiet hours of the night, Sirius drifted away in his sleep, an old and happy man.
6. The Way It Is
Remus and Tonks had been cleaning 12 Grimmauld Place ever since the night at the Ministry of Magic. Tonks wore her hair long and black to try to convince Mrs Black's portrait that she belonged there, but Remus couldn't breathe whenever he saw her.
"I didn't know there was so much paperwork," he said as he sat at the dining room table, filling out forms.
"At least he has a will; that makes things a little bit easier, doesn't it?" Tonks said, pulling her hair back from her face.
"Everything goes to Harry," Remus said, picking a thread off of the frayed cuffs of his robe.
Tonks sighed and picked up a box of something-or-other. "What do you think is back there, Remus? Back behind the curtain."
"I don't know, Tonks. But that's where he is, and we can't get there." He flipped to a second page of parchment. "There's no closure back there, either."
Her black hair fell in his face, and he turned away from her. "Don't you want closure, Remus?"
"I don't know, Tonks," he said.
"Do you wish it had been another way?" she asked.
"I do," he said. "I do."
Author: kaitoujeanne
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Variations On The Death Of Sirius Black
1. The Motorcycle Accident
Sirius had a flying motorcycle. He loved it, opting to use it whenever he could. "Brooms," he said, "are a thing of the past." "You'll have to pull it out of my dead hands," he said.
They were all young. James and Lily were engaged. Sirius's cousin Andromeda Tonks had a small daughter. Things were going as well as they could at that time; sure, they knew about Voldemort, and they were losing friends -- who wasn't? They were gritting their teeth through their smiles.
The motorcycle accident was a sudden and tragic thing. The result of living life too fast and too well. Remus didn't want to know the specifics; it was just too painful to think about. Sirius was gone.
"You'll be our best man, won't you?" James asked while Lily shook with tears, quietly, in the living room.
"I will," Remus said.
"You'll be the baby's godfather, won't you?" James asked when Lily started growing round a year or so later.
"I will," Remus said.
"You'll be our secret keeper, won't you?" James asked while Lily was packing their things to leave for Godric's Hollow.
"I will," Remus said.
2. Hallowe'en Night
James and Lily had gone with Pettigrew instead of Sirius as their secret keeper. Remus didn't know this until he found Pettigrew standing over Sirius's body, draped over the front stoop of James and Lily's front porch, the Dark Mark floating above the house.
"It's over, Remus," Pettigrew said, his wand out, his hand bleeding from a deep canine-looking bite. "For Sirius, James, Lily, baby Harry. It's all over. The Dark Lord is inside, and he will--"
And Remus killed him. He dragged Pettigrew out into the gutter, turning him face-down onto the road.
He didn't want to go inside. He couldn't go inside.
Sirius's body he took with him, carrying him all the way back to St. Mungo's. "He's already dead," the healers said as they rushed to him, but Remus shook his head.
"Make him presentable," he said. "Tonight he died a hero."
"Will you be paying for the funeral?" they asked him.
He pressed his lips together, looked at the ragged edges of his robes, and sighed. "Yes," he said. "Yes, I will."
3. In Azkaban
They never tell you what happens to the prisoners after they go into Azkaban. Azkaban is death itself; once you're in, you don't come out the same, if at all. You hear rumours, now and then, of those who had died and those who went mad and then died.
It was a form letter, sealed with black wax, and it arrived the same day as a letter from Dumbledore.
"The prisoner known as Sirius Black has died.
He died without regret or remorse for the horrendous crimes he committed against wizardry.
Sincerely,
The Department of Magical Law Enforcement."
Remus had considered him dead long ago, that Sirius Black had died on Hallowe'en 1981, the night he betrayed James and Lily. That was nearly twelve years before. Harry was almost thirteen.
He pitched it into the dustbin, poured himself another cup of tea, and opened the letter from Dumbledore.
4. The War
Everything had escalated. No more hiding in houses, no more stealth attacks. They were on the battlefield, their tents on the other side of the hill.
Harry was their leader now, thin and strong at seventeen, and Sirius and Remus sat beside him until the early hours of the night, discussing strategy until Harry dropped asleep on top of the map.
"It's a lot of responsibility for him," Remus said as he dimmed the lights and closed Harry's tent as he and Sirius left for their own.
"He can handle it," Sirius replied. "James could have."
"Except he's not James," Remus said. "He's not."
Sirius looked back over his shoulder towards Harry's tent. "I know," he said.
The morning was cold and clear. Remus watched Hermione walk across the camp on morning patrol, her hair cropped short. "They're looking for a tumbleweed," she'd said the day she cut it all off. "I'm not going to give them one to aim at." Her efforts to get Ron to dye his hair brown went ignored.
They were going to cross the hill and take them on at the head. Snape and the young Malfoy were there; Padfoot had crept up to the borders of their camp to hear what he could, and he had reported back their presence. "Finally, a chance to get Snivellus," he'd said, stretching out on the floor of Harry's tent. "I'm getting too old to be padding around like that. Don't know how McGonagall did it for so long."
They thought they could get them by surprise.
Snape was already there, his wand ready. "Sectumsempra!"
And Sirius fell, bleeding.
Remus dragged him back down the hill, back into the trees. He could hear Hermione screaming for Ron, Tonks yelling that Harry had killed Draco Malfoy, and none of it mattered.
"Sirius," he said. "Sirius, I'm here. It's going to be over soon. All of it."
Sirius nodded, his face white, and that was it.
Remus was alone, and he began to howl.
5. In Old Age
"You should come live with us," Harry said. "Just come and be our Snuffles. We'll take good care of you. The kids love you, the grandkids love you. Please, Sirius."
"Thank you, Harry, but no," Sirius said. "I'm doing just fine here."
Remus poured them both another cup of tea. "Just keep visiting us, Harry. We don't see much of anyone anymore, and we like to see the children, even the grown-up ones."
"Did you give them the map yet?" Sirius asked as he took his cup from Remus.
"Not until they're at least third years," Harry said. "It's not good for them to go out exploring just yet."
"You're getting too old, Harry," Sirius said, and they all laughed.
"I better get home," Harry said as he stood up, his knees creaking. "You know how they worry when old Granddad is out too late."
"Bah," Sirius said. "You'd think you'd be used to people worrying about you by now, what with us and all."
"We haven't had much to worry about lately," Remus said, "thanks to you."
Harry held up a hand in protest, putting on his cloak. "Please, you two. Stop it."
"No matter how old you are, you're still the Boy who Lived," Remus said.
"And now I'm the Old Man who's Late for Supper with the Grandkids," Harry said. "Good night, you two," and he Apparated out.
Sirius turned to look at Remus, who was still sitting at his bedside. "Do you think I should go? Go be Snuffles for the rest of my life, curled up by Harry's fireplace?"
Remus smiled. "And then where would I be?"
"There's a spot for you by Harry's fireplace too, I'm sure." Sirius said with a grin.
During the quiet hours of the night, Sirius drifted away in his sleep, an old and happy man.
6. The Way It Is
Remus and Tonks had been cleaning 12 Grimmauld Place ever since the night at the Ministry of Magic. Tonks wore her hair long and black to try to convince Mrs Black's portrait that she belonged there, but Remus couldn't breathe whenever he saw her.
"I didn't know there was so much paperwork," he said as he sat at the dining room table, filling out forms.
"At least he has a will; that makes things a little bit easier, doesn't it?" Tonks said, pulling her hair back from her face.
"Everything goes to Harry," Remus said, picking a thread off of the frayed cuffs of his robe.
Tonks sighed and picked up a box of something-or-other. "What do you think is back there, Remus? Back behind the curtain."
"I don't know, Tonks. But that's where he is, and we can't get there." He flipped to a second page of parchment. "There's no closure back there, either."
Her black hair fell in his face, and he turned away from her. "Don't you want closure, Remus?"
"I don't know, Tonks," he said.
"Do you wish it had been another way?" she asked.
"I do," he said. "I do."