One drabble/oneshot/thingy for cypsiman.

[mixed_monkey]

Based on the meme thingy I did a month ago. The song its based on is "1000 words," featured in the Final Fantasy games.

Comments

[cypsiman2]

Being the one who made the request, I'd like to say a few words; This was very nice, but it feels incomplete. Something about how even though Yuugi and Anzu are so far apart, their words can still reach each other would be good. Mind you, I know the feeling when you just can't write, so I appreciate that you were willing to press on regardless.

And as a tiny bit of constructive criticism, the last line should be "New York City couldn't possibly be that sunny." As it stands, it suffers from tense confusion, which mars the image. Aside from that, I've no real complaints.

[mixed_monkey]

I'm actually a bit impressed that you felt it was incomplete, because remember, in reality this was just one piece of a whole, and I'm still beating myself up for making this tiny piece of emoangst without any make-up, or at least making it worse. :D

I'm glad you thought it was nice! But I failed to understand your critique: "it suffers from tense confusion, which mars the image." You're talking about the whole fic? If so, how?

[cypsiman2]

To clarify my critique, the paragraph before the last line was in the past tense, but the last line is in present tense. Does that help? The rest of the story was just fine on that front.

Also, have you had the chance to read my last two fics?

[mixed_monkey]

Yeah, I get it! *slow* And no, I wasn't even aware. I'll go check it out on your fanfiction account! Or deviantART.