so as of tomorrow I live in the city. and as of tomorrow I am on my own. I hope i can make it. I hope i don't let anyone down. I hope i can focus on college and do well and enjoy my time there. I love new beginnings, i love to be able to reinvent myself. I just hope my emotional stability, or lack thereof, doesn't interfere too much...

I've seen things start and I've ( Read more... )

its time for my annual journal entry about Allen Ginsberg. Every time i pick up this book, "Howl" it feels like I am discovering these poems for the first time. Like I am catching something i never saw before, or I have new knowledge in my head that lets me interpret the poems completely different. That's why I don't like to read them to often. I ( Read more... )

in honor of one of the greatest authors of all time ( Read more... )

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i love america. I'm not being fecitious, i really do. I love it for its potential. I love it for all the good things we COULD do with that power and how many lives we have the ability to make better. I love America for its freedoms when they aren't being limited and for its concern for other nations when they arent out of self interest. I love ( Read more... )

I really am beginning to think that all of my efforts are futile. Everything just feels so forced. I try so hard and get nothing back in return except let down and rejection. I get unanswered phone calls or feigned smiles; some contorted face of fake concern, like a nail through my chest ( Read more... )

"Just remember, the same as any spectacular vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you followed the jumps: continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, theres going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didnt experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed ( Read more... )

i really want to make this journal something i can rely on. Somewhere to put not only things i think, but things i make, as well. Art can be defined differently for everyone. to some, art is taking a paintbrush and some colors and painting a scene or a portrait. For others it is abstract; it is painting your imagination. It could be your view of ( Read more... )

one last thing:

i am a firm believer in the idea that if you cant be a good example, you have an obligation to be a horrible warning.