my life is hell... and this is not jessica being over dramatic

michelle is pregnant
talyna has cancer
i got fired from perfect job
dad was in jail this weekend for beating mom
.... and for some unknown reason austin has cut me out 100%

i don't know what to do

the closer it gets to my birthday... the harder it is to forget what actually happened that day.

chinesse food
panera
captain
sleeping
working
wii
wow
laying on the couch
painting
common market
captain
bathtub
beer
hallway talks
washer/dryer
apple slices
southwestern egg rolls
captain
balcony
the closet

these are also the things that make me happy and sad all at the same time

for the first time in my life i am searching for pills to make myself numb so i wont have to feel like this anymore...

this is not good.

So here I am... laying in my hotel room in San Fran.  It is amazing here ( Read more... )

last night i found myself sitting on the roof wrapped in a blanket trying to figure out where to run to ( Read more... )

So after a horrible trip to Atlanta... I get back to Charlotte... I call my mom to let her know I made it back okay...

she informs me Michelle ran away last night and they have no idea where she is...

and I don't know what to do...

I am dizzy.... very very dizzy... because of that painting... and i'm at work... and all I wanna do is lay down...

oh and i have that uneazy feeling again...

please let this day end...

hehehe... now i really am curled up in the bed with the "real" Captain!!

hahahahaha