I have reached a decision about love.  I don't need it.  I don't want it. It is nothing but an unwelcome headache.  No thanks. Not for me anymore.  I know plenty of people who are single and happy and have been for years.  I want to be one of them.  My focus is to get a good job and save and do the things I have always wanted to do that other ( Read more... )

Gary is moving out at the beginning of September.  The spell has been broken, the bullshit has come to an end.  I am finally free.  I have been living a lie for so long, I feel like I can finaly breathe.  I chose to live like this as a sort of security blanket, but I no longer need my blanket.  For the first time in my life, I can think of myself ( Read more... )

Maybe that's why i am not happy.  All I want are the normal things in life.  Maybe a few perks, but I feel I'm worth it.  Too bad nobody else does.  I feel like I am always searching for help yet can never find it.

I have discovered that I will never be happy as long as I am living with someone else.  I need to be alone.  I have also discovered that I suffer deep depression and I might need medication for it.  Problem is, I have no insurance and no money.  I am trying hard to get a job so I can save and move into my own place.  Also, I am addicted to Rupaul's ( Read more... )

I have a ton of stuff on my mind.  The past has a way of showing up and throing a wrench into the works.  Unfortunately  I don't live close enough to any of my friends to hang out and discuss my issues.  Sometimes all I need is a hug.  Big decisions are being made but I have to kep them to myself for now.  I already have confirmation of two people ( Read more... )

Gary is losing our home, so we need to move to an apartment and get a roommate again.  I so need to get a job and save so I can live by myself., but haven't been able to get anything yet.  I hate this.  Life has to be better than this.  I know it pisses my friends off that I live with him.  I have no choice until I can get my shit together.  Until ( Read more... )

I keep trying to be who I truly am and do the things that will make me truly happy.  The problem is, if I come out (so to speak) I will lose people I care about.  Some things I can do in private with no repercussions.  Others would be totally obvious and out in the open.  I am so tired of losing people because of the choices (or things chosen for ( Read more... )

It fell through.  I am very unhappy with my life right now.  I have things I want to accomplish and it seems to always be put on hold.  I have goals and dreams and they seem so far out of reach.  To truly be happy, it will cost time and money to accomplish, and money is scarse.  If I were to truly be myself, I feel everyone would turn from me.  I ( Read more... )

...at least for the weekend.  I am trying to establish residency.  I hope all goes well and I can finally move back home to California.  Wish me luck.

I may have found a place to stay when I move back to California.  Been talking to a friend in the Bay Area adn once I have enough saved, I can stay with him until I can get settled.  Thank goodness good things happen to me too.  I was beginning to wonder if I was a magnet for bad stuff.  My outlook is a lot better thanks to one conversation!