I'm sick of being alone.

Some freshman kid was smoking pot today at my bus stop. I now know why everyone else in the world despises teenagers.

Next year when I make a new CD, I think I'm going to call it "Shot To The Heart", because it sounds badass even though it is a Bon Jovi quote.

Today at track practice...

I was chased by a midget teacher and was also about two seconds away from punching Justin Giroux in the face. I was actually about a second away from popping a large pimple, actually i'm sorry that was the teacher.

Hey everyone, I am entering this contest for a local newspaper. The top three articles win money. The topic for the article is how your community has impacted your development as a person. Tell me what you think of my article, and what you think I should change before I submit it.

( The Riot: Home Is Where Your Heart Is )

Every time I see this one person I want to punch him in the face repetitively, is that wrong ( Read more... )

( The Riot: A Week Without LOLs )

I never made a New Year's Resolution before. This year I thought it would be cool if I made some resolutions for my personal life and my comedy life. If they all come true, 2006 will be an awesome year. I'm not going to post my personal resolutions for 2006 but here are my new year's resolutions for comedy in 2006 ( Read more... )

I'm doing a show tonight in Cambridge. This will be my 4th time at the club. Usually I get nervous a half hour before the show, but today I am already nervous 5 hours before the show. I hope everything goes well tonight.

Some of my old jokes have been published in the new Judy Brown book!!!!!

Love's Funny that Way : 800 Terrific Jokes About Romance and Relationships

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/ ( Read more... )