Comments | mmmrorschach: Wait a minute, why does your amabassador have a gun?

mmmrorschach

Wait a minute, why does your amabassador have a gun?

Mar 08, 2012 06:29

Mixed signals are bad in baseball and even worse in relationships. It's like when the person driving in front of you has their blinker on, but they never turn. It's infuriating. They keep signaling that the relationship is about to turn a corner, but then keep on driving straight and you're like, "Where are we going with this?" when maybe the whole ( Read more... )

Comments 5

grrgoyl March 8 2012, 17:47:04 UTC

I'm so in love with your skill at analogies. Also, next time someone is tailgating me I'll try putting my blinker on for ten miles or so. As if my law-abiding driving speed doesn't infuriate them enough.

mmmrorschach March 10 2012, 02:20:45 UTC

They totally need to come up with a blinker pattern that alternates between the left and right lights. Then it would kind of be like the car in front of you shaking its hips at you.

Ever since I heard that you get maximum fuel efficiency at right around 55mph, I don't ever drive faster than 60mph. Anyone who drives faster than that loses the right to complain about high gas prices.

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mmmrorschach March 10 2012, 02:13:15 UTC

I read about a guy who hermetically sealed his house to completely keep out dust and pollen and anything else that might be floating around in the atmosphere. He also had an industrial fan he could use to evacuate all the air inside the house. One day when he went to work he left the fan running and it made a vacuum inside the house. When he came back and opened the door, the air rushing in was like thunder and the house, like, threw up everything onto the floor. The lesson: Nature abhors a vacuum. It is cruel and resentful and will be upset if you try to exclude it.

Maybe I was being a little rough on the ol' house. If it was a teenager, it would scream at me and shout, "I didn't ASK to be built!" before storming off to its (would it ruin the analogy if I said) room. Or maybe it's like one of those sad dogs who love you, but the only way it knows how to get your attention is by howling and whimpering.

bugg121 March 13 2012, 02:00:27 UTC

... because he's the ambassador of piece.

Really liked your analogy in paragraph one - you are the master of vague-osity. What about old people in love? Do they come to understand that they will always have their blinker light on?

mmmrorschach March 13 2012, 14:48:35 UTC

*blows raspberry* Hahaha.

I think that as people get older, they get more and more stubborn about being in love. Old people are probably more full on brake lights, or stopped by the side of the road saying, "Well, if you're not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere." And they wait by the side of the road until they die, for better or worse.