There is a bitter satisfaction in seeing the world live down to your expectations.
Whenever I read a Missed Connection, I imagine the two people's guardian angels pulling strings and trying to arrange a coincident moment to bring the perfectly matched couple together. Then the whole time the two people are making fluttering eye contact or trying to build up the courage to say something to each other, the two angels are nervously
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Picturing the Missed Connection guardians put me in mind of the angels from A Life Less Ordinary...which is really not a very good movie, but I forgive it because it has nostalgic value and Ewan McGregor.
I woke up in the early morning hours today and couldn't go back to sleep for quite a while, and I was amusing myself by trying to decide what I would want on my tombstone. I finally decided on, "Dammit, I knew this would happen," but it's not as appealing to me when I'm fully awake. I'll have to keep thinking about it. I like yours, though.
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I feel the same way about The Phantom Menace, except that Ewan McGregor has to move over for Natalie Portman.
I was going to make a joke about Tombstone brand pizza that went, "What do you want on your tombstone?" "Oh, I don't know, maybe pepperoni and some of those little anchovies." Then my children can visit my grave to sprinkle pepperonis and anchovies on it and laugh about their weird dad. Maybe your tombstone can say something like, "Too bad this isn't the real Stephanie."
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I like the gravel idea, though I doubt the partner wearing the gravel would be as appreciative. Still, EIGHT DOLLARS for a freaking rock? You know what else $8 buys? Enough emergency groceries to get me through to my next paycheck in a pinch.
I started to think about what to engrave on my tombstone, then I remembered I want to be cremated.
ADDENDUM: Happy birthday!!
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I laughed because a lot of the other overpriced "antiques" they had on sale were just kitchen and farming supplies I remember seeing in my grandparent's house the last time I visited Mexico..
You could have the urn engraved! I think a giant #1 etched on the side would work pretty well, like it's a sports trophy.
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"Life Less Ordinary" is a Danny Boyle film, came after "Trainspotting" I believe. His wacky fantasy style pops up unexpectedly in an otherwise unremarkable story, which I suspect is what makes people either love or hate it.
Sounds like "American Pickers" and their "rusty gold." Tery loves driving past old farms, etc. and imagining how much all the junk on the lawn is worth to someone.
Love it! That has now become Plan A.
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Also, I love your icon!
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i am a terrible friend because although i've been thinking about what to get you for your birthday for several weeks now, i haven't actually gotten or sent anything to you yet. i have some (mediocre) reasons which i will try to defend in my letter! the first reason being that you set the bar really high for excellent birthday presents.
but i hope you have a wonderful day. embrace the springtime of your life (i just taught my new students the concept of carpe diem, so this sentiment feels very timely to me).
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I'm really happy you liked your presents! And don't worry, you're not terrible. But I do hope I get to hear from you soon. I'm really curious about how your birthday party went.
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Does your life start in January? It must, becacommenter are always on about May-December romances, but I'd think life would be more like the calendar which begins in spring and keeps winter together at the end. Then ideally you'd want to die in December because January and February are the worst months.
4.) Hopefully this time he stays dead.
According to your Missed Connections imaginings, I am a guardian angel every time I watch a sitcom. Meanwhile does anyone ever remake that connection? Some of them are quite lovely but I always think either the other person won't be a reader, or won't read often enough to see their own ad. Then the lovers are twice star-crossed.
Or until they stop loving you, which is more likely if they discover who has been placing stones in their shoes.
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Yep, it all starts in January. I don't mind life starting off in January because during the winter babies are swaddled up and helpless and need to be sheltered from the world and it'd be a shame to waste nice weather on them. And this way, the first day of spring coincides with turning sixteen, which totally makes sense. It's like Bambi and the birds and the bees.
Hahaha. Number 4 is great. That's definitely in the running now.
It feels to me like Missed Connections are usually written by people who are tragic romantics and like it that way. I mean, it's way too small a thing to hang your hopes on, and it's also a safe way to beat yourself up over something your regret while pretending to do something about it to make yourself feel better. Me, I wouldn't know what to do with a second chance. If I wrote one and the person actually found it and replied, I'd be like, "No, you weren't suppose to find it! I'm supposed to be sad!"
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