...what is even your life. It sounds hilarious as hell in retrospect, even though I'm pretty sure some situations are pretty shitty to go through on the spot.
You should manage to get some questionable stains on those pants. Or return a completely different pair of pants and sow the Sauna tag on the back. Fairly certain that would provoke that one question you're looking for.
Haha. I would personally hope for either, "Was more than one person wearing these? At the same time?" or, "Could you please help us identify what species this fur came from?"
Oh man, I would love for those to be asked to me. I would come up with the most ridiculous stories, and go off on unrelated tangents, because they can't hang up on you, I think? If you're on the phone, that is. Over the counter, I don't think that they can just dismiss you, either. That would be one hell of a sight to see.
This is going to be so lame, but...I don't have much to say about this post. I just really wanted you to know I haven't forgotten you. (You even showed up on my WordPress feed! Hooray! It works! Why can't LJ master the technology to access other blogs, not just LJ blogs?)
Pop-Tart and peanut butter sandwiches? I don't mean to judge, but NO. That would be your caloric allowance for the whole week.
I keep up with a few outside-of-LJ journals through RSS feeds. Unfortunately, you can only add new RSS feeds if you have a paid account (which is a perfect use for the free two-week trial). But just now while checking your new blog to see if it had an RSS feed, and disabling scripts just in case it was hiding, I saw that I can get updates e-mailed! That's much better than remembering to periodically check for updates. Done and done.
The best thing about those sandwiches is trying to unhinge your jaw after taking a bite. Death by peanut butter asphyxiation would be an unpleasant, but delicious, way to go.
Really, I wrote this post just so I could talk about Sauna Pants. They're like a sauna in your pants. Also double as a home sterilization system. They should have a warning. "Prolonged use may lead to crotch rot and swamp vagina."
Haha, wow, I didn't even think about where the moisture would go. They're like hot diapers you have to plug into a wall. Wait, no, they're not like that; that's exactly what they are.
I bet some people buy them just because they're life feels empty without an adjustable dial on their crotch.
I hate those NO QUESTIONS ASKED things, because they are so gonna ask you why you don't want the item, what's wrong with it, how satisfied you were on a 1-10 scale, why it isn't good enough for you, what you're doing with your life that's so much better without their product. I'd cave under the pressure and say I changed my mind, probably offer to pay them more just to let me keep it.
"Why are you returning the item, ma'am? Was it not good enough for you? That can't possibly be it because you knew what a piece of garbage it was you were buying. It must be that our product just wasn't crappy enough for you. Well, I'm sorry you hate yourself and that our product failed to meet your need to denigrate yourself further. Would you still like to return it, or purchase an additional attachment kit instead?"
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You should manage to get some questionable stains on those pants. Or return a completely different pair of pants and sow the Sauna tag on the back. Fairly certain that would provoke that one question you're looking for.
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Pop-Tart and peanut butter sandwiches? I don't mean to judge, but NO. That would be your caloric allowance for the whole week.
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The best thing about those sandwiches is trying to unhinge your jaw after taking a bite. Death by peanut butter asphyxiation would be an unpleasant, but delicious, way to go.
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I bet some people buy them just because they're life feels empty without an adjustable dial on their crotch.
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