We sure can dream (2/3)

[mo_chan_tf]

[ Back]

x

[14.09]

"Our dearest ghost," Minjun holds an empty glass in Chansung's direction, who downs his own drink before taking the other's cup.

"Yes, hyung?"

"Another shot of whiskey for me. If you find my Booyoungie, tell him I'm still waiting for that dance."

Chansung pauses at the nickname, but he's smiling when he stands up. "Anybody else want anything?"

"A pillow," Junho grumbles from atop his crossed arms on the table, but Taecyeon can see his mouth curving up. Even though Junho would claim clubbing was not his thing, they've all had a great time celebrating their sixth anniversary. And Taecyeon made sure Junho would drink just what he could handle, and the right way so he wouldn't fall asleep. Junho's current pose is just that, a pose.

Chansung ignores Junho and turns to Nichkhun. "Hyung?"

"I'm going with you. I wanna take a look at the drinks menu."

Minjun and Taecyeon share a look and send their teasing smiles Nichkhun's way, but the Thai just laughs at them, Chansung dragging him away by the shoulder.

Taecyeon fills half his glass with soju and drinks it. He feels a nudge at his shin and looks sideways at Junho, but the other seems to be watching the dance floor below.

"I think I've spotted Wooyoung," Junho says. Minjun leans on the bars that make the second floor look like a private veranda from which they can see the first floor, following Junho's stare. "He's talking to the DJ?"

Minjun beams. "He might be asking for a song."

"Shouldn't you go there and get your dance, then?" Taecyeon asks, smiling around his glass as he finishes the bottle of soju. It was his second, and probably last one for the night. They had drunk champagne before coming here and he had tried some of the drinks the others bought to see what he could suggest to Junho. He's fine, but he's stopping exactly because he wants to stay sober.

Minjun stares at him, at the arm he's resting around Junho's chair without touching the latter now, only because Junho's still leaning forward on the table, eyes on the moving bodies on the floor below. Despite a brief rise of his eyebrows, Minjun smiles, fixing its curve on Taecyeon. "Excuse me," he says, and it might be just politeness before getting up to join his boyfriend, but Taecyeon catches the edge in his voice, the questions not asked because the answers are right there.

Junho stretches and straightens up slowly, his neck now against Taecyeon's wrist. He turns to look at him, and Taecyeon can't help touching him on purpose, barely caressing his skin and the short strands of hair his fingers reach for. Junho doesn't hide his shiver, but maybe he just can't. He moves a little closer, their legs touching, his languid smile drawing Taecyeon in. "Take me home," he says.

Taecyeon knows he means the dorm, but he still asks, teasing, "My place or yours?"

And Junho could shove him and complain Taecyeon is ruining the mood because he lives with his parents, but he's got something else up his sleeve. "Anywhere with you.”

Taecyeon wonders if implied confessions are supposed to turn you on, but he feels it nonetheless.

x

Junho sent a message to both Nichkhun and Chansung, just to make sure they would both stay out late, perhaps until the next morning. That feels like ages ago, just like the car ride, when Taecyeon wouldn’t stop looking and smiling at him to the point where Junho turned to the window and pretended to be interested in the scenery. He might have been tempted to cause an accident otherwise. The elevator was even worse, he had to keep reminding Taecyeon there were cameras, Junho’s sibilated warning turning into a hiss when Taecyeon poked at his hips, and laughed at his overreaction.

Now, though. Now Junho wants and feels Taecyeon’s touch all over him, hands gripping hard at his sides as Junho moves up against him, gasping into his mouth. They’re still at the front door when Taecyeon tugs at his shirt and Junho puts his arms up, lets the other take the garment off, enjoys every heated second of fingertips on his skin. He pulls at the collar of Taecyeon’s shirt and that’s taken off too, Junho’s hands sliding down tanned skin and hardened muscles. Taecyeon dives in to kiss him but Junho cuts it short to touch and look at his left arm.

Taecyeon pauses, watching his face. Junho looks at him, reads the hesitance beyond the intensity of his stare, and traces the scar with his thumb, like he’s wanted to do for the longest time. It’s not his first time touching it, but it is different now. He knows what they’re about to do, and he’s anticipating every second of it. Junho’s been waiting for this too, the touches and the skin under his hands and against his own, he’s longed for it as much as everything else. He wants Taecyeon, he wants every bit of him with every bit of his own being, and that includes the angry, pinkish skin traced by his fingers, the feel of it under his knuckles and palm. He likes the way Taecyeon closes his eyes for a second and seems about to rest his head against the side of his own face, he likes to feel Taecyeon’s arms sliding against his own as he circles his torso and holds him lightly at first, but when Junho so much as moves Taecyeon strengthens the grip like a warning or a protest. Junho licks at his lower lip, moves only his face to search for the other's eyes, but Taecyeon’s got his own closed, his breath now tickling at Junho’s skin. He keeps staring at Taecyeon while sliding both hands up and down his arms, which only makes the other hug him tighter.

“Junho,” he whispers, his voice deep with emotion. Junho can only hug him back, grip at his shoulders and back, kiss his neck and lay his face on it. When the latter loosens the embrace, it is only to take Junho's breath away again, kissing him as if his own life depended on it. Junho also pours his everything into it, walks backwards and trusts Taecyeon’s hold on him so he won’t lose his balance until they reach his bedroom.

Junho kicks the door shut even though they’re alone just to make sure, it’s second instinct. He’s thinking of all the times they’ve done this before, how much he’s missed it, and how his body’s reacting to every kiss and touch as if it were the very first time. It is, in a way, even if Taecyeon seems to remember just how exactly to make Junho arch into him by ghosting his fingers down Junho’s back, bringing him closer and grasping at his butt. Junho almost pulls Taecyeon into him to smash them both against the door but then he remembers the bed, so he pushes the other back, and then Taecyeon’s sitting on the mattress, looking up at him. Junho smiles, pauses to take in his face. The desire in Taecyeon’s eyes is intense, his lips parted as if he were about to express the things Junho can read on his face, the emotions also gripping at him. He leans forward to nuzzle at Taecyeon’s jawline and leave a kiss near the earlobe.

Taecyeon fumbles with the button and zipper of his pants and Junho’s glad he hardly ever wears a belt, so he can unbuckle Taecyeon’s pants as well instead of helping him. He’s also glad for the big bed instead of the bulk bed they would have had to use in the past. It was great for snuggling but he remembers both of them hitting their heads and limbs, and-- he doesn’t have to worry about it now. Nor can he really think anymore, with Taecyeon touching him, clothes out of the way as Junho kicks the garments aside and clasps his hand around Taecyeon’s arm for support, the arm not working on him right now. The same arm he uses to make Junho take a step closer while he keeps stroking him, and Junho gasps, plans of straddling Taecyeon coming back to him, so that’s what he does. Taecyeon explores his naked skin, fingers trailing around his hips, down his thighs to the outer side and then around again to his lower back, grasping at the flesh. Junho breathes heavily then, gives in to the sensations and closes his eyes, head almost falling back when Taecyeon pumps him a little faster. His exposed throat is kissed and breathed on, his hands pulling at Taecyeon's hair, a clear reaction when he tugs hard at the locks.

Despite how much he's enjoying it, Junho interrupts it to make Taecyeon lie down on his back, but he goes with him, trying to yank his pants down. Taecyeon gets the message, though he moves from under Junho and stands up to get naked instead of just kicking them off like the other expected. Junho doesn’t complain, since he does enjoy the view. He lies on his left side and lets his eyes wander down Taecyeon’s broad back to his well-shaped thighs, and when the taller one turns around to face him, Junho’s got a half pleased, half suggestive smile on his face. Taecyeon arches an eyebrow at him, his grin boasting enough of Junho’s appreciative stare without him commenting on it, but of course he does, he just can’t help teasing Junho. The latter just laughs, meeting him halfway when he comes back to bed. He’s on his knees when Taecyeon pulls him in for a kiss, hands in Junho’s hair and around his throat. One thumb is right over his Adam’s apple as Junho swallows and then gasps, breaking the kiss because Taecyeon is suddenly stroking him again, slowly now, teasing at the head. Junho wants to repay him, he did intend to do that just now, but he can’t help surrendering at first, breathing against Taecyeon’s face as the other holds him close by the neck, eyes fixed on Junho’s face.

“How do you want to do this?” Taecyeon asks, not breaking eye contact, fingers working him into full arousal.

Junho bites at his own mouth. He’s pleased at the offer and knows Taecyeon means it, despite the fact that he was often the one who took control, and Junho liked it either way, he still does. Right now, though, right now he still wants Taecyeon to take him, it’s how he’s imagined it the whole night. He’s been anticipating it since Taecyeon persuaded him to stay a little longer with the others at the club by pinning him against the wall and kissing him senseless while some Beyoncé song played in the background. That was several hours ago, but the excitement comes back to him easily, tingling down his spine. He doesn’t really answer Taecyeon yet, not with words anyway. Instead, he asks him to stay there while Junho rummages through a backpack he had left ready in case they decided to do this elsewhere. Taecyeon doesn’t comment on what could be considered his dirty mind. Perhaps he also hasn’t forgotten the days when they used to do some quick escapades because the dorm was too risky, especially at daylight. Either way, when Junho returns to the bed with the two things they’ll need for now, Taecyeon is touching himself, though his eyes are all for Junho. He reckons the lazy strokes are for him too.

Taecyeon stops when Junho is near enough that the former can be touched by the latter. There’s a brief kiss before Junho hands Taecyeon the lube, leaving the condom for later as he gets to work, fingers around the other’s cock, delighted in feeling it harden and shift slightly in his hand. He rubs up to the head and down, his other hand cupping at the testicles, stroking them gently, teasingly. Taecyeon grabs at his hair and kisses him breathless, also gasping against his lips when Junho squeezes him not hard enough to hurt, but just the right amount of pressure to drive him a little out of control.

When he tries to steal at his mouth again though, Junho moves away, so Taecyeon breathes a soft laugh instead. He dives in a second time, but Junho shakes his head, grinning, his hands also slowing down. Taecyeon groans in protest but Junho only holds at the base, playing with the hairs instead. He looks down at the flask hanging loose in Taecyeon’s hand and catches the other’s raised eyebrow from the corner of his eye. The mumbled oh of understanding has Junho smiling wider, a brief nod before he turns around, leaning back against Taecyeon for now. He lets his head rest on Taecyeon’s shoulder and waits, hearing as the flask is opened, a shiver of anticipation running down his body.

Taecyeon grasps at his left hip bone and runs two cool, wet fingers down his coccyx. Junho breathes, moves his hips back against him, leans his chest a little forward and grips at the arm that’s around his left side. Taecyeon’s cock teases at his butt but it’s the forefinger that finds the crevice and presses around it, drawing a gasp from him. Junho inhales slowly, not so quietly, breath caught when he feels it sliding in. He gets kissed on the shoulder and neck, a brief smile that breaks when the digit moves, further in and out, making way gradually. When it leaves him, Junho arches back, moans at the temporary loss, even though he knows, he knows Taecyeon is getting more lube, but knowing still doesn’t prevent him from gasping out loud when two fingers press and enter, his hold on Taecyeon’s arm stronger than the hand keeping him in place now.

The grip loosens up as Taecyeon caresses him, to the underside of his thigh, drawing half a circle around it to slide down and then up his femur, upper still to his belly, each of his ribs, soft whispers of his name in his ears. Junho’s smile returns briefly but it seems to hover around his lips all the time, he takes hold of the hand near his stomach and moves it down, downer, to the tip of his cock. Fingers circle the glans and move down the shaft, but Taecyeon goes even further, his other fingers leaving his ass to press gently at his perineum. Junho was not expecting that or the shot of hot electricity that runs through him. He feels like he’ll fall on the mattress both as a reaction and as a way to give better access to Taecyeon.

And he does. He kind of loses his balance, kind of wants to be on all fours for Taecyeon. There’s the sound of the mattress giving in to another weight and Junho crawls about half a meter ahead, looking back over his shoulder to see Taecyeon on his knees behind him, putting the condom on. He also gets more lube, and Junho’s muscles contract around nothing, mouth dry as he waits. Taecyeon’s eyes are lustful and his smile is one of amused satisfaction at the display. Junho’s about to rock against the mattress when Taecyeon gets two fingers deep inside him, pressing, searching, torturing him with pleasure.

As he tries to keep his strength but also find the best position for them to do this, Junho’s not exactly on his hands and knees anymore. His forearms are on the sheets at which he grips lightly now, and he could rest his head there if he so wanted. His bent legs keep the knees almost under him, except he’s got his lower half up, completely under Taecyeon’s mercy.

The lines of his back are traced by Taecyeon, whose hand moves up and down around his spine. The tenderness contrasts with how determined and skillful his other fingers are in making Junho squirm, his breathing erratic while he smashes at the thought of begging Taecyeon to quit this and fuck him already. Taecyeon rests his palm on one buttcheek and then squeezes, working inside him, apparently enjoying it nearly as much as Junho, who writhes and rubs his cock on the mattress as he rocks around the two fingers. He eventually shakes his head, a brusque move for he’s unwilling to let the pleasure build this fast before Taecyeon’s actually inside him for real, hard and good.

“Enough,” he says, not caring of how impatient he sounds, how breathless he already is, how much he wants Taecyeon to fuck him.

But it gets him what he wants, so it’s all for the best. Junho clings to the mattress, buries his face in the sheets and gives in to the sensations overtaking him. Taecyeon slides in in one fluid motion, the weak pain as a promise of what’s to come. Junho breathes in deeply, his insides clenching around Taecyeon, who strokes up his back to pull softly at his slightly damp hair. Junho hopes his smile is heard; whatever the case Taecyeon moves in and out a few times before going deeper, fisting roughly at Junho’s hair. For a split moment it hurts more than the thrusting, but it’s good and Junho doesn’t fight the grip. He rotates his hips slightly, moving back just as Taecyeon slides into him. The sound of their bodies slamming together has Junho doing it again, picking up the pace, friction dissolving pain.

Taecyeon pauses to adjust their position. He touches Junho’s back to press down a little, just so Junho will sink into the mattress as his legs spread and his hips rise up to meet the other’s. It makes them go deeper, Junho’s moans get louder, and their breathing more difficult. Junho relishes it all, and even more when Taecyeon touches his cock, pumping him until he finds some synchrony with the thrusts, his body weighing down on Junho.

And then he gives Junho all the ecstasy they can share. There’s another pause, what Junho later recognizes as a warning but not before Taecyeon slams into him, faster and harder, speeding up, riding his orgasm within Junho. His pleased sounds are faint but the one moan is loud enough that Junho takes note of it to try and get Taecyeon to sound like that again, another time or day. Taecyeon slows down but keeps going, thrusting until Junho spills in his hand, on the sheets, under their bodies. Only then Taecyeon stops, collapsing a second after Junho, who still clings to the sheets as hard as he would like to cling to his orgasm, which is, well, a lot.

“Damn,” he mumbles after a while. To Junho’s relief, Taecyeon is still awake enough that he laughs silently against his spine. The taller one also kisses the vertebrae and ruffles his now completely ruined, sweaty hair, evidently unmindful of how it feels to the touch.

“That good?”

Junho would roll his eyes or make some snarky remark if he weren’t so filled with contentment, and not just from Taecyeon’s cock, which is still inside him. “Yeah,” he concedes, turning his head to the side so Taecyeon will see his sluggish but genuine smile. “It was great.”

Taecyeon grins back at Junho, takes a deep breath, and then rolls off him. He also kisses Junho’s cheek before lying on his back, and for a while neither of them move. If it weren’t for the sticky things that could turn uncomfortable later, Junho could fall asleep just like that.

“Towel,” Taecyeon says before he gets up, surprising Junho with how energized he seems. So he did fall asleep after all? They both did, judging from the way Taecyeon rubs at his face as he walks out the room. He recalls all the times Taecyeon would fall asleep just moments after they had sex, usually justified by how exhausted they both were, what with how crazy their schedules got most of the time. That was also because Junho would be the one in the other’s room, when Minjun was not around or simply decided he wouldn’t mind giving them some privacy. Junho would often linger a while or just walk back to his own bed. When it was Taecyeon who came to Junho’s bulk, Junho had to make sure they didn’t do anything compromising or just kick Taecyeon out right afterwards. He didn’t really like either, but it had always been the safest solution to what shouldn’t even be a problem.

That’s in the past, though. Now he can let Taecyeon stay however long they both want. The thought has Junho smiling broadly, happiness of the kind he thought forgotten spreading through him, making him feel light as a feather but also heavy, almost as if he wouldn’t be able to move right then. Maybe it’s just his mind and body getting him to enjoy the feeling, the moment.

“Yeonie,” he calls, voice deep, face mischievous even though Taecyeon can’t see him. “Yeoniiiiieeeeee,” he repeats, a little louder this time.

Taecyeon appears at the door with towel in hand, still naked, just like Junho. He’s trying to look affronted but failing miserably. “Lee Junho!”

“Noooo,” Junho rolls around until he’s on his belly. He snatches a big pillow from the pile which is somehow still intact despite the action from earlier, and snuggles up around it. “You should call me oppaaaaa.”

Taecyeon cackles, walking back to bed. “Isn’t there a comma missing in there?”

Junho can barely hear his own voice as his face’s buried in the overly comfortable pillow. “No.”

“I don’t want anyone calling me like that, and I’m certainly not calling you that, either.”

Junho makes a deep whining sound at the back of his throat. He turns around to throw the pillow at Taecyeon, but the other is already close enough to predict and block the move, also snatching the pillow from his hands and throwing it on the floor. Junho’s gape of outrage is much more convincing than any of Taecyeon’s fake anger expressions, but it only makes the latter laugh and move to grasp his wrists. Junho tries to hit and kick him playfully but Taecyeon has always been stronger, so he has Junho stuck under him in a matter of seconds. Although they’re smiling at each other now, Taecyeon still holds him by the wrists, eyebrows raised in warning as he reaches for the towel. He’s sitting on Junho’s thighs, actually locking them in place, but Junho doesn’t really mind it, he may admit to himself it feels good. So much skin on skin. Taecyeon cleans him carefully, already clean himself, the towel joining the pillow on the floor when he’s done. For all the mess Junho’s known, it still bothers him, yet he doesn’t complain, not when Taecyeon leans down to kiss him lightly before lying down on the bed next to him. Junho hesitates, but Taecyeon’s already grinning and pulling him into his arms.

“Don’t you dare think I’ll miss my chance to do this again,” Taecyeon says, kissing his neck as Junho settles to half lying on his side, half letting his body weigh against Taecyeon. He can’t fight his own smile at the words, the way Taecyeon’s embracing him just like Junho did to the pillow that’s now on the floor.

“Yeonie,” he starts, in a less teasing, more honest tone than before. “You know I can’t fall asleep like this.”

Taecyeon sighs, and if anything he holds him tighter. “Mood killer.”

“I could call you out on that, too.”

His laugh prickles at the back of Junho’s neck. “Damn you, It Nuneo.”

“We can stay like this for a while, though.”

Taecyeon doesn’t answer. The smile against Junho’s skin does.

“I like this, okay.” He sounds begrudging, but he reckons it doesn’t matter, either. “I always did. Even when you tried to make me wake everybody up because you were tickling me all over and I couldn’t stop laughing, and when I had to push you off my bed because you might just fall asleep there and your snoring could also get us into trouble.”

“I don’t snore!” Taecyeon says, but it’s a weak protest. He nuzzles Junho’s neck a second later. “I know. I always knew.”

“Shut up.”

“But I did! Just because you try to put on a façade doesn’t mean I can’t still read you, y’know.”

Junho’s the one who shuts up at that. He worries at his lower lip, thinking about all the other things Taecyeon might have known but neither of them allowed into a conversation.

“Hey,” Taecyeon sounds serious all of a sudden. “Don’t go there. We know better now. That’s why you’re telling me this, isn’t it? Because you regret not saying it before.”

Junho almost says he might just be tired, but he would also feel worse for even trying to sway Taecyeon from the subject. “You’re right,” he says instead.

Taecyeon remains silent for a while. Then he speaks, softly, and it feels like a reward for what Junho just told him even if that’s not the right way to see it. “I missed this. I missed you. I missed everything about you.” He pauses, caressing his hair, his arms, his side, his face, his hair again. “You don’t have to keep anything from me. I’m not here to judge you, or forgive you. I’m here because I love you. And I want to be with you.”

Junho turns around to kiss him. It’s all he can do, all he can give him now, and Taecyeon takes it, swallows it as he would the words Junho doesn’t really have to repeat anymore.

x

Junho's fingers run through his hair continuously. Taecyeon's eyes are closed, he's relaxing with every touch, but he doesn't want to sleep. Junho shifts on the bed, just slightly but enough that the mattress creaks. His breathing carries the smile Taecyeon can't see but imagines, Junho's tight lips curling until his cheeks puff up.

Junho pulls slightly at the strands, moving them either away from Taecyeon's face or back over his forehead. The locks aren't long, but they cover the eyebrows. Fingers rake through his scalp, pressing a little against the back of the neck. Taecyeon turns from lying on his belly to face Junho, who's no longer sitting on the edge of the bed. He's scooted closer, legs folded near Taecyeon's torso. His knees are the first thing Taecyeon sees, the first one he touches as his hand moves to rest around Junho's hip.

"You gotta leave?" he asks, looking up at Junho.

Junho nods absently, fingers tugging at dark roots as if he were analyzing their dark brown color. He's all dressed, black t-shirt and faded jeans, simple clothes for a day of filming. Taecyeon moves to sit on the bed as well, sheets already aside because of how hot it is. He leans his forehead on Junho's shoulder and pulls at one hook of his jeans with his thumb, just so his fingers can sneak to touch underneath. The grip on his hair tightens a little.

"Later," Junho whispers, moving to kiss his neck briefly. It brings a smile to his lips, one Taecyeon shows him before pressing their mouths together. Junho lets him, but pushes him away. "Ew," he grimaces, but his hands soon find Taecyeon's hair again, pulling at it gently even as he keeps the bitchy face on. "I have to work, and so do you. Time to move your ass for other things now."

That last line is something Taecyeon would have said, and Junho's aware of it, his face softening into mocking defiance. Taecyeon feels like dragging him onto his lap and ravishing him. However, he knows the lines he can cross when it's early morning and Junho has knots of tension about to settle on his shoulders. The promise of later means he shall untie them, not try and be one of the causes.

"Go," he says, instead of everything he wants.

Junho smiles at him.

Taecyeon wishes all mornings could be like this, but he also often wishes they ended differently. Waking up to Junho’s touch makes him content and he barely moves, just enjoys it, nearly dozes off again. When his breathing becomes too relaxed, Junho may tug a little too hard at his hair, or he will just yank at the sheets tangled in his legs. Other times he just lets Taecyeon sleep and sets the alarm clock before leaving.

These are the mornings following the nights when Junho invites him to stay in the dorm. Nichkhun has no questions to ask, he just smiles a little too cheerfully whenever he’s still around once Taecyeon gets up. Chansung hasn’t said anything, but Taecyeon assumes he’s caught up on what’s happening. That’s why Taecyeon doesn’t jump out of his skin when, one morning, Chansung knocks at Junho’s door and peeks in to tell him, almost impassively except he might be hiding his amusement, “If you hit the snooze button one more time we’ll be late, hyung.”

So maybe Taecyeon does let out a yelp and worries about all the times Junho and him might have forgotten to lock the door, but Chansung just smiles at him when they go to the studio together to rehearse for their joint stage at the upcoming concerts.

That’s not why Taecyeon would like such mornings to end differently, though. He kind of enjoys having Nichkhun and Chansung around for a few minutes before they all head to work, be it a rehearsal, a radio appearance, a music show or some other TV recording. He would just like to be in Junho’s shoes, as silly as the thought sounds when it first hits him. What it means is, he wants to have Junho sleeping in his place, Taecyeon’s place, and feeling at home there. That’s not happening in his parents’ house, and he doesn’t really expect Junho to ask to go there. That’s a step not even Taecyeon is ready to take yet, but he knows he will eventually have to. Even if he moves to his very own place, something he’s planning to do a few years from now, after the military, he still intends to let his family in on what’s making him happy. There are only a few people he knows he can share this with, and his family should be part of it.

Sometimes Taecyeon and Junho just crash on the latter’s bed without doing anything and it feels like they’ve just gone to sleep when the alarm rings. There’s one morning they both wake up at the same time, a miracle according to Junho, for Taecyeon somehow manages to not hear the blaring sound most of the time. He blames the songs Junho uses as the ringtone, he’s too used to most of their music to let it disturb him by now.

This morning, though, Taecyeon finds himself awake while Junho’s crawling back under the covers to enjoy the ten precious minutes he’s decided to give them before getting up for real. Over the last two or three weeks, Taecyeon’s brought an extra change of clothes whenever he knows he’ll spend the night here, even though he lives nearby. It saves time and Junho sometimes wakes him up to invite him for an unexpected but much appreciated joint shower. He’s trying to remember what their schedule is today, but nothing comes to mind.

“Why are we getting up early?”

Junho sighs, and that seems to be his answer until he finally adds, “I have things to do. You can sleep. So sleep.”

That makes Taecyeon more alert than he was just a second ago. “What things?”

Junho grumbles something inaudible and yanks at the covers so abruptly Taecyeon doesn’t have time to secure his half before Junho disappears under it all. He knows he shouldn’t insist when Junho’s like this, but Taecyeon is too curious to let it go. He decides to give him the remaining time before the alarm rings again though, and gets up himself, dragging his feet to the bathroom.

“Morning, giant,” Nichkhun greets him from the kitchen, somehow knowing it’s him even if they can’t see each other.

“Taec hyung is up?” He hears Chansung’s voice before closing the bathroom door.

A few minutes later, there’s a knock. It’s brisk and there’s no voice, so Taecyeon just opens it to let Junho inside, and the other all but leans on his chest as if he could fall back to sleep right there.

“Yeonie,” he groans, and Taecyeon can only laugh at him. He closes the door behind Junho, and that’s probably what makes Nichkhun shout at them.

“I hope you’re not doing anything in there!!!”

Taecyeon ignores that, and he’s not sure Junho even processed the words. In between wrapping up his solo work, rehearsing for 2PM’s comeback, practicing and promoting, flying constantly and now also filming in between one event and the other, Junho’s clearly exhausted. He’ll certainly manage to keep it all hidden later, once he’s out of the dorm, but right now he can just groan against his lover’s skin, and not-so-silently get Taecyeon to comfort him.

“I’m looking for another apartment,” Junho blurts out, though he sounds like he’d rather not say anything, or maybe he just doesn’t like the fact that he has to use one of his very few days off to do this.

Taecyeon strokes the back of his neck, pulling just slightly at the short strands of hair. “You don’t really wanna do that?” He asks, aware that the words carry his doubt on what exactly is bothering the other.

Junho takes a deep breath before deciding to sit on the toilet, but only after he lowers the lid. “I do. It’s just-- it’s weird, to think that we’re leaving this all behind... That I’m not gonna see any of you on a daily basis, and that... we’re really carrying on with our lives outside the group now.”

Taecyeon leans on the sink. He’d kneel in front of Junho and look up into his eyes, but Junho just sat there now, and he might want the space. “I know this doesn’t mean much, but I went through the same thing,” he keeps his voice soft, and hopes Junho will catch the drift. What he means is, he understands this. The struggle. Missing people and things before he’ll actually miss them. “It wasn’t easy for me, and I doubt it was any different for Minjun or Wooyoung. And I doubt Nichkhun and Chansung feel any different than you do. The three of you have shared things the rest of us haven’t.”

Junho looks like he’s about to apologize for something, either the truth in Taecyeon’s last words, or the fact that he’s whining about this at all. Taecyeon doesn’t think he is, but he knows that’s probably how Junho would put it. The younger one eventually smiles, even if it’s tight. “Chansungie might cry.”

Taecyeon nods. “And as his best friend you’ll be there for him when the time comes.”

Junho sighs, a light exhale that leaves a smile on his face. "We used to have impromptu meetings here."

"You mean when one of us would be having a shower while somebody else brushed his teeth and then another wanted to pee?"

"There was one time I also wanted to dry my hair and we found out the plug here should never be used at the same time as the shower."

Taecyeon laughs at the memory. Minjun got furious because he had been in the middle of composing a song when everything stopped working, and the plug in his and Taecyeon’s bedroom had been burned. For a few days Junho let Minjun sleep in his bulk so he could use the electricity there, a well-meant apology that also gave him and Taecyeon more time together. "We caused quite a few blackouts before finally giving up.”

“Did we ever? Give up on causing trouble, I mean?” Junho’s got a full-on grin now and Taecyeon is compelled by the warmth in it, the way his eyes turn into half-moons when he’s not even trying to get his trademark face on.

“When did you become such a sap,” Taecyeon says, smiling even as Junho shows him his tongue for the teasing remark. He’s relieved this didn’t take a turn for the worse and Junho seems to be in a better mood now. “Do you want to have breakfast at home or get something on the way?”

“I bet those two out there have already prepared something. I swear they often forget we’re not an army of starving kids anymore.” He gets up and washes his face, moving as if he would use Taecyeon’s cotton shirt to get dry. The other just hands him the towel hanging next to the mirror and leans on the door while Junho takes care of other things.

“You wanna do this alone, right?” Taecyeon asks, arms casually crossed over his chest, his face relaxed. He expects Junho to understand the question, and by the way the other frowns before nodding once, he does. “Cause I could go and help you out, if you wanted.”

Junho smiles at him. “I know. I promise I’ll ask you first if I need anything besides what Wooyoungie’s already helping me with.”

That last bit is said on purpose, a half teasing smile tugging at Junho’s lips as he speaks, but Taecyeon doesn’t rise to the bait. It makes sense that Wooyoung would know, considering he’s really close to Junho, and what really matters is that he eventually told Taecyeon as well. Taecyeon also knows Wooyoung beats all of them when it comes to architecture and decoration. “Okay,” he says, but keeps his stance by the door, which means they’re not leaving the bathroom yet.

Junho looks curiously at him. “What?”

“Who will you invite to your housewarming party?”

Junho tries not to laugh but it comes out, as inevitable as the way his ears turn red even though they’re alone. Taecyeon bites at his lip not to say aloud any variations of “cute” that would certainly earn him a few punches. “I’ve no idea where I’m going and I haven’t really thought about that, but...” he says, seemingly abashed even as he takes a step closer to Taecyeon, whose arms are still crossed over his chest. “I guess it’ll be a party for two.”

Taecyeon waits to see if he’s gonna turn this into some joke, maybe say the other one is Ggomaengi, whatever, but Junho just stares back at him, features easing into a self-satisfied smile.

“Gotcha,” Junho says, eyes turning playful.

Suddenly the door opens and Taecyeon almost falls to the floor. He nearly screeches in the most undignified way, but manages to keep his balance by holding onto the door frame at the last second.

“You never locked that,” Junho whispers, laughing quietly as he walks past him, off to the kitchen. Taecyeon is too surprised by the small prank to threaten retaliation, but deep down he also enjoys this. Junho’s playing around with him, as they both used to. That realization can only make Taecyeon smile as he goes to join the others.

x

"Is there anything better than pizza?" Junho says as he makes all the faces around a slice that he bites and chews slowly, every piece a moment of pleasure.

"I can think of something," Wooyoung says, just as he looks at Minjun, whose wiggling eyebrows earn him a slap on the arm from Junho.

"Gross," his voice complains, but he's still eating and humming, and Taecyeon has to agree with Wooyoung.

"Why are you not eating, hyung?" Chansung asks. He's already on his third slice, and he's as content as their second maknae. No, he's probably happier; whenever food is involved it's impossible to compete with Chansung's love for it.

"Diet," Taecyeon shrugs, and he knows the other understands. That is exactly why Chansung got so excited when they decided to have dinner at a pizzeria instead of parting ways once they were done with that day’s schedule.

"He's bringing these back," Junho says, squeezing Taecyeon’s biceps. Chansung laughs like a hyena, while Wooyoung snorts and Minjun lifts his eyebrows at them.

"I'm sure you're enjoying that," Minjun says, and to his credit Junho flushes so fast Taecyeon puts an arm around his shoulders.

"You bet he is," he says, keeping a straight face.

Junho looks sideways at him, munching on a piece of pepperoni. Perhaps deciding whether to shove Taecyeon away or coming up with some snarky comment that would deny that statement.

Wooyoung beats him to it. "So, you guys are really back together?"

Junho almost spits food all over the table. He coughs, though, and Taecyeon slaps at his back lightly, concealing his amusement at the color rising to Junho’s neck and ears. Chansung has never been good at fighting his mirth, if he ever tried, so he can’t help laughing at Junho’s embarrassment. Their table turns raucous as the youngest one clings to Minjun so he won't fall off the cushioned bench where they're all sitting, in a private corner of the restaurant. Their hyung is laughing too, though his is an airy, nearly silent display.

Once he's recovered, Junho glares at Wooyoung, who looks too pleased with himself. Taecyeon supposes Wooyoung already knew, but putting it into words like that, bringing it up while five out of six of them are together-- it’s different. In a good way. They all knew about it the first time without Taecyeon or Junho having to tell them. Therefore, it shouldn’t be difficult to tell now, when the two of them have been spending so much time together, a contrast to such a long time of tightrope walking. Taecyeon hasn’t forgotten how much fun they had teasing Wooyoung and Minjun for dating without trying, and he bets this is Wooyoung getting back at them, or some of them anyway. Taecyeon faces his turn coolly. He’ll gladly take the teasing over most other reactions to what is now mostly old news.

"How long?" Minjun asks, ever the probing one.

Junho smirks, his words surprising Taecyeon only because of whom he's addressing; they've both said worse when alone. "Depends on what that question is about."

Wooyoung snorts. Chansung is breathless, Minjun's gasp making him cackle even more. Fake or not, the shock on Minjun's face has Junho looking like a devilish, purring cat. Taecyeon gazes at him, his mind suddenly running wild with other moments where Junho could look and sound like that.

Junho's attention turns his way slowly, like a flower would to sunlight. His own sunflower, it dawns on him, though Taecyeon wouldn’t risk saying that out loud.

"Oh god, look how much in love they are," Wooyoung sounds disgusted. Junho just shows him the middle finger while still staring at Taecyeon, the smile in his eyes forcing its way on his lips. Taecyeon loves this, how he breaks gradually, his beautiful features glowing bit by bit.

"You're worse than that," Chansung says, blocking Wooyoung's arm as the latter tries to hit him for the remark. "With the cute voice and the hand holding and the car singing--"

"Shut up," Wooyoung tries to smack his head from behind Minjun, but it's only a half-hearted attempt. He looks embarrassed but he's nearly smiling even as Chansung's face seems to dare him to deny what's no more than the truth.

"Let me," Minjun flicks Chansung's forehead.

"Hyung!!!"

"That ought to teach you some respect."

Chansung gapes at Minjun while cradling the top of his head. It's all forgotten once their next pizza arrives.

“So... it is true, then?”

Junho looks sideways at Minjun, resists the urge to shrug and pretend he doesn’t know what the other’s talking about, and ends up nodding. His lips tug up and he looks ahead, where Taecyeon and Wooyoung are buying ice cream as dessert while Chansung tries to get Nichkhun on the phone to see if he could join them now. Their evening has lasted longer than planned and they’re gonna be tired tomorrow, but Junho likes it.

When Minjun pulls him by the shoulder, though, Junho wishes they weren’t out in the open. This is not really the time for his hyung to have a moment, but then again, is it ever? There’s a cool breeze and he’s thankful for the warmth, for his friends’ company, for what seems to be their general approval. He isn’t really surprised, considering they already knew it in the past, when Taecyeon still lived in the dorm, but it still means a lot to him.

“I know you don’t wanna hear it,” Minjun starts, and Junho rolls his eyes because it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t do so. “But I’ll tell you this anyway cause you need this. Just-- shut up and listen, okay? I’m talking from my heart. What I learned.”

“What Woodong taught you.”

“That too,” Minjun accepts it easily, smiling at him. “But don’t get too smart with me or I’ll flick your head and pull at your ears so hard Taecyeon might want to punch me-- okay, so maybe I won’t do that.”

Junho laughs, and when Minjun pulls at his shoulders again, he clings around the older one’s back. They’re almost the same height and their age difference is not that big, but Junho’s always willing to listen to Minjun. Even when they don’t agree, he appreciates the simple fact that Minjun’s looking out for him, for all of them, in his own way.

“I’m proud of you, y’know,” Minjun says, and Junho wasn’t really expecting that, the way he’s saying it, so he stops to look at the other. Minjun smiles as if reading his thoughts. “Because you’re giving yourself a chance, because you’re doing something we all know you wanted and needed. Now listen,” he says, as if Junho didn’t already have his attention turned to him. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It won’t be. But, sometimes it’s more fun when it isn’t. And you’re still free, y’know? You can make your own decisions. You gotta do things for yourself. But you gotta trust him to be there for you, and you gotta be there for him too. That won’t always work, but that’s part of what being independent means. You might get hurt, but you get up, too. You just-- you gotta tell him things, okay? You gotta risk it. It’s an endless list of risks you take. You have to be willing to give more than you take. But it’s worth it.”

Junho swallows, overwhelmed by the words, by the truth and the love in them. Minjun knows him too well, he knows the doubts he has even if Junho doesn’t voice them. Minjun knows what he needs to hear and remember without him asking. He could crack some joke about Minjun suddenly becoming their Relationship Expert, but he’ll leave that to Taecyeon. “Thanks, hyung,” he says instead, and he means it.

x

[ Forward]