jihaari left today and i miss his presence already. the missing feeling is exactly what I was trying to avoid by not sharing with him I think. how frustrating that I still hurt from his absence regardless of my efforts not to get too into it. blah ( Read more... )

washed up in my living room, with a beer and a cigarette, Im sitting on my couch. my old appartment has been rented and I am without that burden. my nerves are twitching and my head is spinning, Im dehydrated due to my workout today ( Read more... )

I am a home appliance owner. I bought a stove and a washing machine today. I now OWN a stove and a washing machine. One might be able to say that I HAVE stuff. eeek. progressing in my life, aquiring things that promote stable living quarters, I have stuff. the roof over my head is turing into a palace of things that I own. it is my home! ( Read more... )

You can call me anytime you like. on my cell or at home. it's as if Im waiting for it. my pulse beats with the dialtone - what do you think? will it help that I wait for it? Im expecting it now. will you come through? I've got to doubt it, otherwise I'll go mad ( Read more... )

looking at a photo of myself today I saw all my faults first ( Read more... )

the movie Saved, is good ( Read more... )

before heading out on my bike this morning, I sat on the stoop outside my building and smoked a cigarette. I sat there smoking with my head resting on my left hand. an old black man with NO teeth was walking down the street, he veered towards me and I figured he either lived in the building or was going to ask me for a smoke ( Read more... )

those hours last night while others were sleeping, I was constructing a story in my head about traveling across the provincial borders to a wedding. I was in a train that was full of people. the crowd was mostly older ladies, going for sunday ride. I was in my fur coat. I was one of them. I thought about descending the train and driving but I ( Read more... )

for the first time in a while I turned down going out so I could stay home and sleep. I unexpectedly fell asleep at six thrity in the eveing, was awake from ten thirty until twelve thirty with a wicked head ache, then took two extra strength robaxecet and was out until ten thirty this morning =-D I am sleepy mc sleepertons ( Read more... )

I think I've found a place ( Read more... )