OK, I am calm now. No more angst, at least for the time being, amazing how much screaming on a computer screen can help things get worked out of your system. My last entry was crazy rambling, i realize, but i am sorry my little ghosts, i will offer no explanation, no reasoning, no story behind the scream. I feel better now, no use reopening old ( Read more... )

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ( Read more... )

Its 3am. Just got home from another wonderful night of coffee and conversation with Denisse. I feel calm, and relaxed. I have been thinking about things and not thinking about things all at the same time. School, work, anger at people who matter little, my family, Denisse's return to a land really just out of my grasp, Faith ( Read more... )

I like that statement. I don't like the word religious, when you are religious your religion becomes your label. I like Faith better. Religion is full of hatred, and prejudice, and worse of all hypocrisy. Smiles to your face in Sunday dresses, and whispers of condemnation when you turn your back ( Read more... )

Ok there is something I need to get off my chest. I did not get much sleep last night, I tossed and turned, thinking mainly about how upsetting this whole thing with melody is. Its ridiculous to pretend that she isn’t there, or to be less than civil when she is in the room, so I am done with it. And while I am sure her behavior towards me will ( Read more... )

~In the first dream I am at home, they are taking off my converse, and i am in bed. I dont want them to take off my shoes but i cant stop them, In my head i think i am fighting them, but in reality I cant move. I am in a bed, they are whispering, I am sick, very sick. I want to go out dancing, they wont let me get up, I fee fine ( Read more... )

A rainbow after the storm ( Read more... )

I know i should be thankful for everything i have, and that i have no right to complain, that God knows exactly what He is doing in my life, and that i am very fortunate for every blessing i have recieved, God knows i dont deserve them ( Read more... )

Ahh how beautiful...Night, and drizzling. Calm in my heart, no shaking, no torment, just breathing. Relax....Feel the Breath as you inhale and exhale slowly. Its so wonderful ( Read more... )

So the last few days have been boring especially considering that i havent really felt like going out. I think i am getting sick. Blah. I hate that feel, on the edge of sickness, yet feeling rather fine. That uncomfortableness that can last what seems like forever, can almost be worse than the illness itself ( Read more... )