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momijitsuki May 5 2010, 13:35:16 UTC
I know I'm being completely irrational here. I'm just incredibly frustrated with everything right now. :/

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jiro4 May 5 2010, 14:10:36 UTC
You can't rationally decide to stop being irrational, which is something a logical fellow like yourself would try to do. It just makes you more frustrated and compounds the problem.

The emphasis really needs to be on relaxing, finding a way to unwind and de-stress and bring that joy and happiness back into your life. You will probably find a lot of the issues disappear, and the rest become far easier to tackle.

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momijitsuki May 6 2010, 02:57:56 UTC
Perhaps. Tomorrow is my last final for the semester, so after that, I'm free until the end of August, unless I somehow become so lucky that I can actually get a job this time around.

I'm going to do absolutely everything I feel like doing when I feel like doing it for a while, once I'm done for the summer.

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qwertysaur May 5 2010, 14:16:37 UTC
You can play shmups without dieing every three seconds. That shows that you can either focus enough to know where to be and not die, or that you can commit yourself to something and practice until you get to the point where the complex patterns are easy and doable. Either way that's a useful skill! :D

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momijitsuki May 5 2010, 14:41:44 UTC
But I haven't even been enjoying shmups at all lately. I've only been playing them to pass time between sleeping.

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tundrabeast May 5 2010, 18:34:11 UTC
This is just a suggestion and it might be totally wrong for you but it helps some people and it helps me-

If you're not working or at school go and sign up for a course or go and do some charity volunteering. If you are at school maybe join a club or society? It doesn't even have to be something you care about at all. Having obligations and purpose makes you feel so much less shit.

Also excercise helps me majorly, regardless of if I@m in good shape or not, regardless if it's to do with WEIGHT LOZZ or just because.

I hope you feel better soon. You're a young white male and you're not missing an arm or leg &c &c - you are in the most oystery position of anyone :) USE YOUR HUMAN SUPERPOWERS.

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tundrabeast May 5 2010, 18:35:38 UTC
Also I know that depression will not just magically go away, and you can't just switch it off but it's made of a conglomeration of feelins and events and if you can fix them one by one you'll feel a little better.

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momijitsuki May 6 2010, 03:03:58 UTC
I can certainly relate with the whole 'having obligations and purpose' part. Knowing that I'm wanted or needed makes me feel like I actually have a purpose.

As far as joining a club or whatever goes, it's a possibility. As much as I didn't really enjoy it, I could try the animu club again if I can manage to hunt the person who runs it down again and ask her when they meet up and such.

And yeah, I'm well aware that a lot of the shit I wrote up there is petty and very likely unrealistic, but I just had to get it off my chest, because it has all been bothering me for far too long, as whiny and irrational as it all sounded.

Thanks for the ideas, though. You might be onto something.

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jiro4 May 6 2010, 03:02:19 UTC
Exercise is a fantastic idea and structured exercise like this program is great. You wouldn't believe how good I feel after thrashing myself on the track.

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momijitsuki May 6 2010, 03:14:24 UTC
Yet another possibility.

I'm kind of considering making it my summer goal to actually understand what I've learned in Java so far instead of having my friend teach it all to me at the last minute before the final.

Coincidentally, this same friend is nagging me to exercise as well, as much as I hate doing it. I never really got any satisfaction out of exercise even when I wanted to do it-- I always just end up out of breath and wondering why I even bothered. It doesn't help much that I have next to no appetite, which means I don't eat hardly anything which means lol absolutely no energy. :x

But perhaps a gradual introduction to something like that would be immensely more effective in lieu of OKAY LET'S GET ON THAT TREADMILL AND RUN UNTIL I WANT TO DIE. :P

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tundrabeast May 6 2010, 16:44:05 UTC
there will be something that you enjoy that constitutes as excercise. once you find it grab ahold and NEVER LET IT GO

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shadowshiva May 6 2010, 18:47:36 UTC
Oh Justin, I know all too well how you feel, and the couch to 5K program sounds like it may help me too. I hope so ;\

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