children

[mommydaze]

There is this richness that I feel having multiple children. When it was just patrick and I it was like we lived in this bubble completely focused on each other. Tinged with constant paranoia of something bad happening because he was my everything and I couldn't imagine living without him. Now there is this love that is generated and is

Comments

[ladybluestar]

I understand where you are coming from, but I see some of the other side as well, speaking as a woman who does not want any more children.

My decision has little to do with money, much more to do with my physical and mental health. I do not fully enjoy being a stay-at-home mom and do it more out of necessity than true desire. There are women for whom it is their calling, I am not one.

[mommydaze]

For a long time I didn't really enjoy it either. It was something I did independent of my feelings. Eventually I began to enjoy it and finally found much fulfillment there. I found that much of it had to do with my mindset. Once I accepted that it was my job and role in life and focused on what was infront of me rather than thinking about what might be, things changed. But I always had the motivation of believing it was the right thing and should only be done otherwise under extreme necessity

[ladybluestar]

You make a very good point and I am happy that you have found fulfillment.

The reasons that you state are part of the reason why I stay home, very few reasons would justify me being gone and having to put the kids into daycare.

While I was growing up, my mom worked parttime and my dad, fulltime. So again, that has colored my ideals. I don't think that I would want to work fulltime, though it is also helps knowing that my husband has a great deal of flexibility with his job and could easily be there when the kids get home from school.

I don't take offense to your reasons, no concerns there.

[mommydaze]

That last comment was supposed to be an explanation of the struggles I had at first with being a stay at home mom and how I got to the point I am now. But I wasn't sure that is what it came across as.

[mommydaze]

Once again I suspect that has to with how I was raised at least on my dad's side. I saw so many families that had lots of children and not much else but there was so much joy. I was also taught that children are a blessing and that to prevent children is to deny yourself the gifts that should be in your life. And that I should have as many children as I could. I compared it to the other side of my family, in which people had just a couple of children, and did not find the same energy or joy, and they seemed to be lacking something. And so my dad's explanation (of gifts and blessings)is what made sense

[mommydaze]

I guess my issue is that it becomes a case where one is attempting to decifer what they feel god is calling them to do and then taking actions accordingly rather than a general acceptance what god allows to unfold. (which goes back to a lot of our conversations of belief conflicting with desire - which I still struggle with, especially on this issue