(no subject)
Wishing Stars
d/b
au
Disclaimer: This is fiction. One, Two, Three, Four, Five,
Justin hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since the shuttle had landed. The nurse had finally captured him and put him in an exam room to wait for Billy. He was small and dark, with big brown eyes and ears that pointed a little, like an elf’s. He was visibly trembling. The paper of the exam table crackled beneath him.
“Hi, Justin! I’m Billy. How are you today?”
Justin only trembled more violently.
“Justin, I know you’re scared but I’m here to help you. I want to make sure you’re healthy, so today I’m going to look at your eyes and ears and listen to your heart. I promise I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to do and if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”
This little speech had soothed some of the other children. Justin pressed his finger nails into his own thigh. It had to hurt.
Billy took out his flashlight and shined it around the room.
“See? It’s just a light. I want to shine it into your ears. Can I do that, Justin?”
Justin still didn’t answer but Billy saw his fingers ease on his thigh and the trembling seemed to lessen. Billy leaned close to peak in the boy’s ear and the shaking started again. Billy stepped back.
“It’s scary not knowing what’s going to happen, isn’t it? Tell you what, I need my ears looked at too. You watch me get my ears checked and then, if it doesn’t look too bad, we’ll check yours. Deal?”
The kid just stared at him but Billy figured it was worth a go. He beckoned to the nurse and handed her the instrument. “Miranda, will you check my ears please? But tell me if it’s going to hurt. If it’s going to hurt even a little bit I want to know.”
She smiled. “It won’t hurt.”
Justin watched Billy get his ears checked. He was still quivering but he nodded minutely when Billy asked if he’d like his ears checked.
Next, Billy got his eyes checked. Justin allowed his to be checked as well though this spooked him more than the ear checking had done. Miranda listened to Billy’s heart, and then to Justin’s. “They’re playing the same song,” she said. Justin actually smiled a little at that.
“You’re not going to hit me with that, are you?” Billy asked.
“I’m going to tap you with it. On your knee.”
“Is it going to hurt?”
“No, but your leg will kick out a bit in response.”
“You’re sure it’s not going to hurt? You promise?”
“I promise.”
Billy gripped the edge of the exam table hard. Miranda tapped his knee and his foot flew up. This had made him laugh ever since he was a child and he laughed now. “It didn’t hurt at all.”
Justin didn’t look at all sure about this. The trembling was back in full force. “Sometimes it helps to hold someone’s hand,” Billy said, offering his.
It took a minute but Justin squeezed the tips of Billy’s fingers and let Miranda tap his knee. His little foot flew up and kicked Miranda’s shoulder. His eyes grew wide with fear but Miranda and Billy both laughed.
“Do you see how your knee did it all by itself? It’s called a reflex. You have really good ones.”
“Billy, I want to draw some of your blood now.”
Billy took a deep breath. This would make or break Justin’s trust in him.
“My blood? Will it hurt?”
“A little bit,” Miranda said truthfully. “I’m going to stick a needle in your finger. It will feel like a pinprick. Then, I’ll put a plaster on it and it will all be done. It will only take one minute.”
“It sounds scary.” Billy turned to Justin. “Will you hold my hand?”
Justin put the thumb of his left hand in his mouth and put his other in Billy’s.
“Thank you, Justin.”
Miranda pulled on some gloves and drew Billy’s blood. He winced a little as the needle pricked him and when she was done he held up his bandaged finger and gave it a kiss.
“You were right, Miranda. It did hurt, but only a little.”
“I’d tell you if it was going to hurt a lot.”
“Do you think you can do that Justin?”
Justin’s hand squeezed into a fist in Billy’s palm. He had a sheen of sweat on his upper lip.
“It’s the last thing I’ll ask you to do today.”
Justin took his thumb from his mouth. “You do.” He motioned to the tray of needles and swabs and put his thumb back between his lips.
“You want me to do it?”
Justin didn’t reply, just waited as Billy took Miranda’s spot. When it was done Justin kissed his own finger just as Billy had done.
“You’ve been very brave. Will you come see me again sometime?”
Justin didn’t reply, but he wasn’t trembling any more as Miranda led him out of the office.
~*~
“He has a sister.”
Billy usually ended his days by checking in with Armin, the boy who had translated for him on the shuttle.
“They’re both so beautiful. Their mother was able to hide them until Justin was six. Charlotte, his sister, was ten at the time. Sometimes, I think it’s harder for the ones who knew…knew what it was like to not live the life we did…be torn away. Charlotte was always trying to end it. She tried to take Justin with her once. They’ve got her on suicide watch now.”
“She tried to kill Justin?”
“She tried to save him.”
~*~
The weed wasn’t working any more. No matter how much Dom smoked it wouldn’t send him to sleep. He’d become stupid and lazy for a little while but he wouldn’t sleep. He didn’t know how long it’d been since he had. He was frightened.
“I need something stronger, Danny. I need to sleep.”
“I don’t have anything, Dom. Look, I think you need to lay off the stuff for a while. You’re fucking shaking.”
Dom kicked Danny’s chair. “That’s a good idea, Dan. I’ll just call in sick to the major offensive we’ve got planned for tomorrow.”
Danny held up his hands in surrender. “Alright! Go down to the Tech Office. Ask for Mr. S. They’ll know who you mean. He’ll give you something.”
Dom breathed a sigh of relief and started to hurry off.
“Dom! I mean it. Kick this shit as soon as you can.”
Dom didn’t answer
~*~
Billy should have figured it out that night. He should have figured it out because he was a fucking doctor and he knew Dom better than anyone in the galaxy. He was preoccupied though, preoccupied with thoughts of little Justin, and Armin, and the other children that were quickly taking over his every waking thought. So, he believed Dom when he should have known better.
The night was warm and Billy took his time walking home from the hospital. He was surprised to see the lights on in the house and smiled. It felt like days had passed since he had last talked to Dom. Dom was lying on the couch in a spill of lamplight, naked, but with a blanket covering his legs. He held up his arms to Billy.
“Come here. Come here. Where’ve you been? I’ve never missed anyone so much. Come here.”
Billy went, still blissfully unaware, and snuggled into Dom’s open arms. Dom pet his hair.
“So soft. So fucking soft. Do you have eyes? Will you look at me? I bet I’m more beautiful when you look at me.”
Billy sat up, feeling for the first time that something wasn’t quite right. “Dom? You okay?”
“I’m Dom.”
“Yes. Did you go for drinks?”
“Do you have a name? Someone should name you. You’re too pretty not to have a name.”
Billy grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed him back into the couch. “What the fuck did you take?”
It took twenty minutes for Billy to get any sort of helpful information out of Dom. In the end though, Billy couldn’t figure out what he’d taken, (a white pill, apparently) and that Dom really, really wanted to sleep, or undress Billy, either one.
Billy knew he wasn’t going to sleep that night. He put a pot of coffee on, called both Dom’s boss and his own to let them know they’d be out the next day, and began to wait for the drug to run its course.
Dom spent the first couple of hours humping the couch cushions and trying to kiss Billy who was having none of it. Then he cried for about four hours, mourning his lost family and friends and colleagues. He cried because bugs crashed into windshields sometimes and it wasn’t their fault. He cried about a scratch on the end table and about Billy going away and leaving him forever and ever.
Near dawn he begged for sleep and apologized over and over.
“I’m sorry, Bill. Don’t hate me. I just need to sleep. Please help me sleep. I’m sorry! I just have to. Please.”
It was seven o’clock in the morning by the time the drug let go of him. Billy had led him to bed by then and he said a small prayer of thanks as Dom began to snore. He put one hand on Dom’s shoulder and slept himself.
~*~
He woke after dark. Billy was leaning over him in the bed. He smiled. His throat felt raw. Billy was frowning fiercely at him. Memories started to surface.
“Oh shit, Bill. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he could barely speak.
“Drink this,” Billy held a straw out to his lips and Dom sucked and sucked at the cool water.
“Did they tell you to take it?” Billy’s voice was hard.
“No, I did it on my own, Bill. I had to be alert, you know. And then I had to come down.”
“Was this the first time?”
Dom swallowed. He hated himself but he was too scared and weak to tell the truth. He was scared Billy would leave. He nodded.
Billy breathed a sigh of relief. “No more. Do you understand? Never again, Dom. I’ve seen what that shit can do. It’s not pretty.”
“I promise,” Dom said, and he meant it. God, he didn’t want to disappoint Billy.
“I’ve got to go into work. I’ll be an hour, maybe two. You need to call the General, but you’re not to leave this house. Understand?”
Dom nodded.
Billy kissed his cheek. “Try to sleep some more. Eat something. Love you.”
Billy walked out into the night feeling thankful that Dom was alright. For a while there he’d been worried that Dom was a full-blown addict and he, Billy, had missed it somehow. It was just a one-time thing. Dom had promised. Everything was going to be alright.
~*~
It took Dom 32 hours to break his promise to Billy and he did it without giving it a second thought. His eyes began to droop. He reached into his desk drawer and found a pill, swallowed it, and didn’t think about Billy until three hours after that. When he did he wiped the back of his arm across his eyes, took one of his headache pills, and kept working. He didn’t have time for regrets just then. People were dying.
~*~
“Dr. Boyd? You’ve a visitor, a Mr. Bean. He’s a native.”
Billy looked up from his paperwork. “The name sounds familiar. Show him in.”
Bean was a tall, rugged looking fellow. Billy recognized him as the man who’d given the speech about the local food they day they first came here. It was the last time Billy had met a native of Buckland. Apparently, the few who were left lived in a small town about an hour from the space port and kept to themselves.
“Mr. Bean, what can I do for you?”
“Just call me Bean for starters and actually, I’m here to see if I can be of some help to you.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve heard about the children. There’s talk about building a dormitory for them, a sort of orphanage, a dreary place by the sound of it.”
“Yes,” Billy had heard talk of this himself. Most of the children, while in need of counseling, were physically well enough to leave the hospital, to begin to build their lives.
“We have a school. Just north of our settlement. It’s empty now. Once it turned out our finest scholars. But…it has dorms and classrooms and fields to play in. A swimming pool. We’d like to offer it to the children. You’d need to find teachers of course.”
Billy was pleased. The thought of what to do with the children had been worrying him and here was a ready solution.
“Thank you! Truly. I’ll have to talk to the board of course, but it’s a very generous offer, Bean. I can’t thank you enough. If there’s anything I can do…”
“There is.”
Billy stopped short. “I’ll be delighted to do whatever I can.”
“You are…friends with Monaghan, Dom Monaghan.”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to meet him.”
Billy sat back in his chair. This was not what he expected.
“May I ask why?”
“He grew plants, Earth plants, on Nola did he not?”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to meet him,” Bean said again.
“I’ll arrange it,” Billy said.
“Good.” Bean rose and shook Billy’s hand. “We’re getting the school ready. Let me know when we can expect our first guests.”
~*~
Billy slept with his phone clipped to his pajama bottoms. He would not allow the sound of a ringing phone to wake Dom from his sleep. The vibrations woke him early one morning.
“Billy!”
It was Miranda. She’d gotten so use to not calling him Dr. Boyd in front of the children that she called him by his first name all the time now. Billy didn’t mind. He returned the favor.
“Miranda, what’s wrong?”
“Charlotte. God, Billy, she’s dead.”
Billy sat up so quickly his head spun. Dom grumbled in the bed beside him and Billy forced himself to keep his voice down.
“Dead? I thought she was being watched?”
“She was. She didn’t kill herself. She just died. I think she just gave up.”
“Damn. Fuck and damn. I’m sorry. How’s Justin?”
“That’s why I’m calling. He found her, Billy. He won’t let go of her. But he asked for you.”
“He did?”
“Well, he said your name. Once. Nothing else. Will you come down?”
“I’m on my way.”
~*~
Justin was sitting in his sister’s bed, kissing her finger.
“Justin?”
He twitched when he heard Billy’s voice but didn’t look up.
“He’s been growling at everyone. He keeps kissing her finger, like you did when we drew blood.”
Billy approached the bed slowly and sat on the very edge.
“Justin? Can you look at me?”
Justin shook his head but he didn’t growl.
“I’m so sorry, Justin. I lost my sister too. Her name was Maggie. I think she’ll look after Charlotte for you.”
A tear slid slowly down the child’s cheek. He closed his eyes and held up Charlotte’s finger to Billy. Billy pressed it down gently.
“I can’t fix this. I’m sorry. I can’t make her better.”
Billy held his breath. Justin nodded and let go of Charlotte’s hand. He drew his knees up to his chest and buried his face against them. Slowly, Billy reached out and placed his hand on Justin’s back. The boy didn’t pull away and they sat like that for awhile, Billy rubbing gently between his shoulder blades and letting him cry.
“Will you come with me, Justin? Come away from here.”
Justin’s sobs ceased abruptly and he turned to look at Billy. “You’ll take care of me?”
His voice was hoarse from crying. Billy nodded.
“I’ll take care of you.”
Justin held up his finger. Billy took hold of the little hand and kissed it. Justin took a deep breath and one last look at his sister, and then he buried his face against Billy’s shoulder.
Billy didn’t hesitate. He scooped up the child in his arms and walked from the room. Miranda met him at the door. Her eyes were wet.
“Thank you.”
Billy didn’t trust his own voice just then, so he nodded and continued on his way. He didn’t stop at the desk to check out, didn’t observe any of the rules about removing a patient from a hospital. He didn’t stop to think about professional boundaries or ethics. He walked out into the warm night with a sorrowful child in his arms and took him home.
d/b
au
Disclaimer: This is fiction. One, Two, Three, Four, Five,
Justin hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since the shuttle had landed. The nurse had finally captured him and put him in an exam room to wait for Billy. He was small and dark, with big brown eyes and ears that pointed a little, like an elf’s. He was visibly trembling. The paper of the exam table crackled beneath him.
“Hi, Justin! I’m Billy. How are you today?”
Justin only trembled more violently.
“Justin, I know you’re scared but I’m here to help you. I want to make sure you’re healthy, so today I’m going to look at your eyes and ears and listen to your heart. I promise I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to do and if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”
This little speech had soothed some of the other children. Justin pressed his finger nails into his own thigh. It had to hurt.
Billy took out his flashlight and shined it around the room.
“See? It’s just a light. I want to shine it into your ears. Can I do that, Justin?”
Justin still didn’t answer but Billy saw his fingers ease on his thigh and the trembling seemed to lessen. Billy leaned close to peak in the boy’s ear and the shaking started again. Billy stepped back.
“It’s scary not knowing what’s going to happen, isn’t it? Tell you what, I need my ears looked at too. You watch me get my ears checked and then, if it doesn’t look too bad, we’ll check yours. Deal?”
The kid just stared at him but Billy figured it was worth a go. He beckoned to the nurse and handed her the instrument. “Miranda, will you check my ears please? But tell me if it’s going to hurt. If it’s going to hurt even a little bit I want to know.”
She smiled. “It won’t hurt.”
Justin watched Billy get his ears checked. He was still quivering but he nodded minutely when Billy asked if he’d like his ears checked.
Next, Billy got his eyes checked. Justin allowed his to be checked as well though this spooked him more than the ear checking had done. Miranda listened to Billy’s heart, and then to Justin’s. “They’re playing the same song,” she said. Justin actually smiled a little at that.
“You’re not going to hit me with that, are you?” Billy asked.
“I’m going to tap you with it. On your knee.”
“Is it going to hurt?”
“No, but your leg will kick out a bit in response.”
“You’re sure it’s not going to hurt? You promise?”
“I promise.”
Billy gripped the edge of the exam table hard. Miranda tapped his knee and his foot flew up. This had made him laugh ever since he was a child and he laughed now. “It didn’t hurt at all.”
Justin didn’t look at all sure about this. The trembling was back in full force. “Sometimes it helps to hold someone’s hand,” Billy said, offering his.
It took a minute but Justin squeezed the tips of Billy’s fingers and let Miranda tap his knee. His little foot flew up and kicked Miranda’s shoulder. His eyes grew wide with fear but Miranda and Billy both laughed.
“Do you see how your knee did it all by itself? It’s called a reflex. You have really good ones.”
“Billy, I want to draw some of your blood now.”
Billy took a deep breath. This would make or break Justin’s trust in him.
“My blood? Will it hurt?”
“A little bit,” Miranda said truthfully. “I’m going to stick a needle in your finger. It will feel like a pinprick. Then, I’ll put a plaster on it and it will all be done. It will only take one minute.”
“It sounds scary.” Billy turned to Justin. “Will you hold my hand?”
Justin put the thumb of his left hand in his mouth and put his other in Billy’s.
“Thank you, Justin.”
Miranda pulled on some gloves and drew Billy’s blood. He winced a little as the needle pricked him and when she was done he held up his bandaged finger and gave it a kiss.
“You were right, Miranda. It did hurt, but only a little.”
“I’d tell you if it was going to hurt a lot.”
“Do you think you can do that Justin?”
Justin’s hand squeezed into a fist in Billy’s palm. He had a sheen of sweat on his upper lip.
“It’s the last thing I’ll ask you to do today.”
Justin took his thumb from his mouth. “You do.” He motioned to the tray of needles and swabs and put his thumb back between his lips.
“You want me to do it?”
Justin didn’t reply, just waited as Billy took Miranda’s spot. When it was done Justin kissed his own finger just as Billy had done.
“You’ve been very brave. Will you come see me again sometime?”
Justin didn’t reply, but he wasn’t trembling any more as Miranda led him out of the office.
~*~
“He has a sister.”
Billy usually ended his days by checking in with Armin, the boy who had translated for him on the shuttle.
“They’re both so beautiful. Their mother was able to hide them until Justin was six. Charlotte, his sister, was ten at the time. Sometimes, I think it’s harder for the ones who knew…knew what it was like to not live the life we did…be torn away. Charlotte was always trying to end it. She tried to take Justin with her once. They’ve got her on suicide watch now.”
“She tried to kill Justin?”
“She tried to save him.”
~*~
The weed wasn’t working any more. No matter how much Dom smoked it wouldn’t send him to sleep. He’d become stupid and lazy for a little while but he wouldn’t sleep. He didn’t know how long it’d been since he had. He was frightened.
“I need something stronger, Danny. I need to sleep.”
“I don’t have anything, Dom. Look, I think you need to lay off the stuff for a while. You’re fucking shaking.”
Dom kicked Danny’s chair. “That’s a good idea, Dan. I’ll just call in sick to the major offensive we’ve got planned for tomorrow.”
Danny held up his hands in surrender. “Alright! Go down to the Tech Office. Ask for Mr. S. They’ll know who you mean. He’ll give you something.”
Dom breathed a sigh of relief and started to hurry off.
“Dom! I mean it. Kick this shit as soon as you can.”
Dom didn’t answer
~*~
Billy should have figured it out that night. He should have figured it out because he was a fucking doctor and he knew Dom better than anyone in the galaxy. He was preoccupied though, preoccupied with thoughts of little Justin, and Armin, and the other children that were quickly taking over his every waking thought. So, he believed Dom when he should have known better.
The night was warm and Billy took his time walking home from the hospital. He was surprised to see the lights on in the house and smiled. It felt like days had passed since he had last talked to Dom. Dom was lying on the couch in a spill of lamplight, naked, but with a blanket covering his legs. He held up his arms to Billy.
“Come here. Come here. Where’ve you been? I’ve never missed anyone so much. Come here.”
Billy went, still blissfully unaware, and snuggled into Dom’s open arms. Dom pet his hair.
“So soft. So fucking soft. Do you have eyes? Will you look at me? I bet I’m more beautiful when you look at me.”
Billy sat up, feeling for the first time that something wasn’t quite right. “Dom? You okay?”
“I’m Dom.”
“Yes. Did you go for drinks?”
“Do you have a name? Someone should name you. You’re too pretty not to have a name.”
Billy grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed him back into the couch. “What the fuck did you take?”
It took twenty minutes for Billy to get any sort of helpful information out of Dom. In the end though, Billy couldn’t figure out what he’d taken, (a white pill, apparently) and that Dom really, really wanted to sleep, or undress Billy, either one.
Billy knew he wasn’t going to sleep that night. He put a pot of coffee on, called both Dom’s boss and his own to let them know they’d be out the next day, and began to wait for the drug to run its course.
Dom spent the first couple of hours humping the couch cushions and trying to kiss Billy who was having none of it. Then he cried for about four hours, mourning his lost family and friends and colleagues. He cried because bugs crashed into windshields sometimes and it wasn’t their fault. He cried about a scratch on the end table and about Billy going away and leaving him forever and ever.
Near dawn he begged for sleep and apologized over and over.
“I’m sorry, Bill. Don’t hate me. I just need to sleep. Please help me sleep. I’m sorry! I just have to. Please.”
It was seven o’clock in the morning by the time the drug let go of him. Billy had led him to bed by then and he said a small prayer of thanks as Dom began to snore. He put one hand on Dom’s shoulder and slept himself.
~*~
He woke after dark. Billy was leaning over him in the bed. He smiled. His throat felt raw. Billy was frowning fiercely at him. Memories started to surface.
“Oh shit, Bill. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he could barely speak.
“Drink this,” Billy held a straw out to his lips and Dom sucked and sucked at the cool water.
“Did they tell you to take it?” Billy’s voice was hard.
“No, I did it on my own, Bill. I had to be alert, you know. And then I had to come down.”
“Was this the first time?”
Dom swallowed. He hated himself but he was too scared and weak to tell the truth. He was scared Billy would leave. He nodded.
Billy breathed a sigh of relief. “No more. Do you understand? Never again, Dom. I’ve seen what that shit can do. It’s not pretty.”
“I promise,” Dom said, and he meant it. God, he didn’t want to disappoint Billy.
“I’ve got to go into work. I’ll be an hour, maybe two. You need to call the General, but you’re not to leave this house. Understand?”
Dom nodded.
Billy kissed his cheek. “Try to sleep some more. Eat something. Love you.”
Billy walked out into the night feeling thankful that Dom was alright. For a while there he’d been worried that Dom was a full-blown addict and he, Billy, had missed it somehow. It was just a one-time thing. Dom had promised. Everything was going to be alright.
~*~
It took Dom 32 hours to break his promise to Billy and he did it without giving it a second thought. His eyes began to droop. He reached into his desk drawer and found a pill, swallowed it, and didn’t think about Billy until three hours after that. When he did he wiped the back of his arm across his eyes, took one of his headache pills, and kept working. He didn’t have time for regrets just then. People were dying.
~*~
“Dr. Boyd? You’ve a visitor, a Mr. Bean. He’s a native.”
Billy looked up from his paperwork. “The name sounds familiar. Show him in.”
Bean was a tall, rugged looking fellow. Billy recognized him as the man who’d given the speech about the local food they day they first came here. It was the last time Billy had met a native of Buckland. Apparently, the few who were left lived in a small town about an hour from the space port and kept to themselves.
“Mr. Bean, what can I do for you?”
“Just call me Bean for starters and actually, I’m here to see if I can be of some help to you.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve heard about the children. There’s talk about building a dormitory for them, a sort of orphanage, a dreary place by the sound of it.”
“Yes,” Billy had heard talk of this himself. Most of the children, while in need of counseling, were physically well enough to leave the hospital, to begin to build their lives.
“We have a school. Just north of our settlement. It’s empty now. Once it turned out our finest scholars. But…it has dorms and classrooms and fields to play in. A swimming pool. We’d like to offer it to the children. You’d need to find teachers of course.”
Billy was pleased. The thought of what to do with the children had been worrying him and here was a ready solution.
“Thank you! Truly. I’ll have to talk to the board of course, but it’s a very generous offer, Bean. I can’t thank you enough. If there’s anything I can do…”
“There is.”
Billy stopped short. “I’ll be delighted to do whatever I can.”
“You are…friends with Monaghan, Dom Monaghan.”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to meet him.”
Billy sat back in his chair. This was not what he expected.
“May I ask why?”
“He grew plants, Earth plants, on Nola did he not?”
“Yes.”
“I’d like to meet him,” Bean said again.
“I’ll arrange it,” Billy said.
“Good.” Bean rose and shook Billy’s hand. “We’re getting the school ready. Let me know when we can expect our first guests.”
~*~
Billy slept with his phone clipped to his pajama bottoms. He would not allow the sound of a ringing phone to wake Dom from his sleep. The vibrations woke him early one morning.
“Billy!”
It was Miranda. She’d gotten so use to not calling him Dr. Boyd in front of the children that she called him by his first name all the time now. Billy didn’t mind. He returned the favor.
“Miranda, what’s wrong?”
“Charlotte. God, Billy, she’s dead.”
Billy sat up so quickly his head spun. Dom grumbled in the bed beside him and Billy forced himself to keep his voice down.
“Dead? I thought she was being watched?”
“She was. She didn’t kill herself. She just died. I think she just gave up.”
“Damn. Fuck and damn. I’m sorry. How’s Justin?”
“That’s why I’m calling. He found her, Billy. He won’t let go of her. But he asked for you.”
“He did?”
“Well, he said your name. Once. Nothing else. Will you come down?”
“I’m on my way.”
~*~
Justin was sitting in his sister’s bed, kissing her finger.
“Justin?”
He twitched when he heard Billy’s voice but didn’t look up.
“He’s been growling at everyone. He keeps kissing her finger, like you did when we drew blood.”
Billy approached the bed slowly and sat on the very edge.
“Justin? Can you look at me?”
Justin shook his head but he didn’t growl.
“I’m so sorry, Justin. I lost my sister too. Her name was Maggie. I think she’ll look after Charlotte for you.”
A tear slid slowly down the child’s cheek. He closed his eyes and held up Charlotte’s finger to Billy. Billy pressed it down gently.
“I can’t fix this. I’m sorry. I can’t make her better.”
Billy held his breath. Justin nodded and let go of Charlotte’s hand. He drew his knees up to his chest and buried his face against them. Slowly, Billy reached out and placed his hand on Justin’s back. The boy didn’t pull away and they sat like that for awhile, Billy rubbing gently between his shoulder blades and letting him cry.
“Will you come with me, Justin? Come away from here.”
Justin’s sobs ceased abruptly and he turned to look at Billy. “You’ll take care of me?”
His voice was hoarse from crying. Billy nodded.
“I’ll take care of you.”
Justin held up his finger. Billy took hold of the little hand and kissed it. Justin took a deep breath and one last look at his sister, and then he buried his face against Billy’s shoulder.
Billy didn’t hesitate. He scooped up the child in his arms and walked from the room. Miranda met him at the door. Her eyes were wet.
“Thank you.”
Billy didn’t trust his own voice just then, so he nodded and continued on his way. He didn’t stop at the desk to check out, didn’t observe any of the rules about removing a patient from a hospital. He didn’t stop to think about professional boundaries or ethics. He walked out into the warm night with a sorrowful child in his arms and took him home.