NOT AGAIN!

[monarch_the]

WHO DID IT?! WHO DID IT?! I swear to whatever cruel deity reigns the skies that I will ANNIHILATE whoever gave the thief fucking tentacles again! DO YOU HEAR ME?! THE MONARCH HAS DECLARED HIS VENGEANCE! ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE YONDER BELL TOLLS, YOU TENTACLE-GRANTING JACKASS! IT TOLLS FOR THEE!!!

Holy crap, holy crap, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! THIS IS SO

Comments

[industrial_pink]

What the hell... There are too many tentacles around. I'm locking myself in my room.

[monarch_the]

STAY IN THERE! No, no, wait, crap, go find pookums! I think she's next door!

[industrial_pink]

And tell her what? I don't even understand what you're talking about! Someone ELSE has tentacles and that's all I know and I am terrified!

[monarch_the]

TELL HER TO GET HER CUTE ASS OVER HERE! I've got a tentacled-Lupin locked in the bathroom right now, is what you tell her!

[hiswifeasword]

... what do you mean again?

[monarch_the]

Oh where the hell have you been for the last... fucking FOREVER. He stole some government thing way back when and got blasted with octo-serum! Ever since then it's been like a recurring NIGHTMARE! So unless you know some magic spell to keep it away be sure to sew your dress shut, because the tentacles aren't the only side-effect.

[hiswifeasword]

...

I do not know which part of that to correct first.

[monarch_the]

Buy eight of them, one for each groping appendage he's currently sporting.

[monarch_the]

YOU. YOU GET YOUR ARMANI-SUITED ASS OVER HERE WITH SOME OF THAT ANTI-OCTO-CURING CRAP!

I fucking hate the government!!!

[monarch_the]

Wha-What, all of it? All of it, all of it?! NO! But you-- who the hell took it?! Isn't it on your cameras?! CHECK YOUR CAMERAS!

[monarch_the]

NO! No, no, no, I'm so not taking visitors at the moment. No offense, but I'd rather you and Greed-- especially Greed-- keep your distance until this crap is cured.

[greedyful]

But it would be such a shame to miss, but if you're sure you can take care of him in that state all by your lonesome, you're more than welcome to risk it.

[monarch_the]

I can handle this one; the one you met was only a dream version or whatever. This octo-Lupin comes from some fucking government serum. So he's not going to try to eat people or whatever, just be extra-cuddly. I'll have the henchmen help me out or something.