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BASTE IN THE TERROR!
The Monarch-- aided by the brilliantly evil Antagone and his budding ward Kim (who we so need to come up with a villainess name for)-- have pulled off a plot of such inspirational chaos that it left an entire populace in holiday-themed terror! Imagine the horror on those fools' faces when a veritable flood of rabid turkeys descended upon them from ( Read more... ) -
Screw You, Golden Arches!
The golden arches have failed me for the last time! I declare an OFFICIAL ban on McDonald's food in this house! No longer will I suffer that incompetently prepared crap under my roof! Ronald McDonald can go stick his creepily-painted head in a grease fryer for all I care!
...And I need to remind myself to go buy a copy of Hook. How the hell is it ( Read more... ) -
Never Trust A Dead Guy
Almost forgot I had this thing ( Read more... ) -
Longest Two Days Ever.
Holy crap, I'm still dizzy. Gah. Going to get motion sickness just watching the cursor move ( Read more... ) -
The Wait Is Over!
As some of you have already been informed, The Monarch has once again been reunited with his true arch enemy! With some brilliant maneuvering on my part and a convenient loophole in Guild procedure, DR. THADDEUS VENTURE WILL ONCE AGAIN SLEEP UNEASILY, HAUNTED BY THE SOUND OF THE FLUTTER OF WINGS! MY WINGS!!!
Oh, just wait until I show up to do a ( Read more... ) -
Five Advil and three doses of mouthwash later
I cannot get the taste of blood out of my mouth. I think it was even like... spiced or something, god. It had that lingering cinnamony taste. Only not the good kind with the sugar-- I'm talking straight from the fucking spice rack. Yech.
And Offdensen? Tacking on five grand compensation money to our little laser trade-off. -
Is This Really All There Is?
So apparently getting Phantom Limb's house, being granted villainous partnership with my wife and gaining new status in the Guild just means they're allowed to throw completely crappy arches our way. We've gone through like five losers in the past week. You wouldn't think they'd be able to grow steadily worse, but lo and behold it's like the domino ( Read more... ) -
NOT AGAIN!
WHO DID IT?! WHO DID IT?! I swear to whatever cruel deity reigns the skies that I will ANNIHILATE whoever gave the thief fucking tentacles again! DO YOU HEAR ME?! THE MONARCH HAS DECLARED HIS VENGEANCE! ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE YONDER BELL TOLLS, YOU TENTACLE-GRANTING JACKASS! IT TOLLS FOR THEE!!!
Holy crap, holy crap, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! THIS IS SO ( Read more... ) -
We So Earned That Point!
So I just got to enjoy the lamest party ever last night. Fucking Hatred threw this pathetic suaret to introduce MY ultimate enemy as his new arch! I mean I knew something was up from the start, but then the guy keeps throwing little jabs my way the whole fucking night, going Phantom Limb this, and Phantom Limb that, and when I finally get him to ( Read more... )
