Sliced my hand open today. Witnessed a breakdown. Wanted to melt into the walls. Almost wanna have kids just so I won't be lonely when my husband dies ( Read more... )

I realize that you two are the same person. Your whole looks (minus the fact that the real one has no sense of style in the least) are the same. I figured out what it is today: the dead eyes. I love those dead eyes. Dead, yet piercing. Makes the soul quiet; a stillness that bothers me. What ever happened to you (the real one)? Were you ( Read more... )

Big big week. Graduated college and passed my second actuarial exam. I am so tired I could sleep 'til next tuesday, but instead I am awake...here ( Read more... )

I almost wish we'd never met. Almost. Everything has some memory of you. You adjusted so well. The more I think about it, yea: I wish we'd never met. I wish you were never brought into the circle. Please don't kill yourself; it'd be default love. Default love is the worst. Gonna start a life and I don't like the path I'm on. I don't want to ( Read more... )

everything is pretty much the best it could be. It's hard being away from the boy so much this summer, but we'll have the school year. Last night I went to Cov's bonfire which was awesome. PROJECT RUNWAY STARTS TONIGHT! i'm excited. It's been forever since they were on the air. Then friday is hanging with Cathy!! I miss her and it should be ( Read more... )

do you know how hard it is to not do what you really want to do? I've told myself i can't ever again and I was fine for 4 months....and now here it is. I didn't give in, thank goodness, that would have been 4 months down the drain. Still, physical pain not to. I wish this situation would go away for life. I thought it had, but then it just ( Read more... )

this is going to be totally random ( Read more... )

My dad has always told me that everything will work out ok, and it's totally true. In every hard time of my life, he was told me this; that i shouldn't worry too much about it, let it go, and let the knot be untangled. It seems like such a cop-out, that life will fix itself, but it's true. i love that ( Read more... )

It sux that once you've been messed with, you don't hesitate as much to do that to others. I don't wanna be that person, but i think i am starting to be. The list of 25 random things on facebook was liberating and so constricting at the same time ( Read more... )

dreams still show me it; sheesh. I want my mind to let it die. I want to go into my brain and just rip out that part. Well, maybe there's a reason: to remind me how stupid i used to be. Stupid stupid stupid. But it was a lot of fun while it lasted ( Read more... )