LEGEND OF MAYFIELD IV: The Piped Patio Pruning Party!

[monk_of_keyfu]

[ACTION - A (Anywhere in Mayfield, Moring/Afternoon, OPEN TO ALL)]

[Getting into the wintery time of the year can lead to problems with the plumbing! Whatever trouble you might be having in your household, it's a good thing that Mayfield has people in the city who've been assigned to be plumbers. Right?]

[So you shouldn't be too surprised to find

Comments

A

[answerer_sword]

Pipes?

[Bazett wonders what the strange man outside is talking about.]

Uh...none of use here smoke tobacco.

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Once Key-Fu sees Bazett step away to a safe distance, he promptly pours in the lye-based drain cleaner into the goblet.]

[And is treated to an eruption of vapor and flying buts of psychedelic shroom compost. Thankfully none of it gets on him ... Though his face has been lightly dusted by the vapor, enough that it's subtly changed the color of his face!]

I believe the liquid law firm has filed for punitive damages!

[answerer_sword]

Maybe we should pour it in slowly...Or maybe if we used something to pour it in at a distance?

[The last thing she wants is for her toilet to blow up, especially if it means releasing potentially dangerous substances into the air.]

[monk_of_keyfu]

A succinct possibility!

[Key-Fu glances at the faucet.]

We could also throw the lawyers overboard!

[answerer_sword]

...I do not understand...

[She wonders what the faucet has to do with the clogged toilet.]

[monk_of_keyfu]

My confounded client, I speak of adulterating the alkaline attorney abstract!

[answerer_sword]

What is the concentration of this base? We need to dilute it from the original concentration until it no longer causes such a drastic reaction, but not so much that it cannot neutralize the acid present in the clog.

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Key-Fu stares at the drain cleaner. One would think that it'd be hard, if not impossible, for him to read the label given how his eyes have remained crossed this whole time, and yet-]

I believe this bottle contains the equinox of equality, for the concentration is only half-hearted!

[answerer_sword]

Is it sodium or potassium based? Or perhaps a mixture?

[Given that the two substances have different pHs, it would take different amounts of water to dilute them.]

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Key-Fu glances at the label again.]

Truly it appears to rely on thirsty salt!

[answerer_sword]

I will take it to mean that it is sodium based then. That means when not diluted, it should have a 14 pH value...

[She thinks for a little bit, turning the numbers over in her head.]

At 50%, the pH should be around 13.7...If we can dilute it to 10 or 11 and then add it slowly, it should be able to neutralize the acidity without blowing up...

[monk_of_keyfu]

Most excellent! I shall leave the hydrated pie portioning to you!

[Chemistry and math really aren't Key-Fu's strong suits. It's amazing he's been able to get this far doing this plumber job without exploding a bathroom!]

[answerer_sword]

[Bazett goes into her kitchen and grabs a glass measuring cup. She then does her best to make a mixture of the water and the lye.]

I think this should be the right concentration.

[Hopefully, her toilet would still be standing after Key-fu is finished.]

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Once Bazett's finished with getting an accurate enough mixture with the lye and water, he'll pick up the cup.]

Now it is time for the liquid lawsuit to loosen this lurid lump!

[And he promptly pours the entire thing right into the toilet blow-and stands back just in time as the mass bubbles and fumes with horrible gurgling noises!]

Behold! The litigation has begun!

[answerer_sword]

[Bazett, after getting the mixture ready, has headed back to the kitchen with the remaining sample of the gunk to find a container for it so that she can use it as a possible weapon later. She decides to use a nearly empty jam jar.]

[Just as she is about to commence pouring the gunk into the jar, she hears the gurgling noise in the restroom. She runs to the restroom to see what is happening.]

What did you do?

[By now, her toilet has started shaking.]

[monk_of_keyfu]

[By the time Bazett comes back to the bathroom, Key-Fu is standing there with his fists on his hips, in a very superhero kind of pose. He turns to look back at his client, the measuring cup sitting empty on the counter.]

Why, I have introduced the liquidized legal eagles to the putrid pile!