Heh~ its been a damn long time since I have actually made a post... never really had both the time and the concentration needed to achieve such a difficult task. A lot of shit has changed in my 4 month hiatus(then again... some things haven't) so I apoligize in advance for this rather long post. Fuck that... I am not apoligizing. If you don't want ( Read more... )

Crap... already wrote half of this and lost it so if it isn't usual charmin' Aaron post get over it... doin' things over tends to make me a little disgruntled ( Read more... )

You know... I have always hated the datin' game. I used to think it was because I always lost but that isn't it. It is all the emotional baggage that comes along with it. When you are with someone, you want them to love you unconditionally and see you without faults. It is this struggle to maintain a facade of perfection that causes relationships ( Read more... )

Heh~ seems I was long due for a little self abuse(and not the fun kind... I always find time for that). Its when I get these surges of motivation... you know the ones that make you feel like you can make all your dreams come true. Its when I get these that I always end up feelin' so helpless and ashamed of what I have done with my life. I know I ( Read more... )

Can't sleep again... guess that is nothing new. Seems like every time I try to get comfortable I end up bein' more uncomfortable than before. Hmm... maybe I need a new mattress. I dunno... I got that feelin' again... the one that makes ya' feel like something is out of place. I guess I feel that my life would be drastically different if I chose a ( Read more... )

Wheee!!!! Ran through a stinky tunnel yesterday. Turned out to be a stank poo hole. Everything went fine until I tripped over a piece of corn and got an evil lookin' ouchie on my knee (kinda' looks like the mouse my cat ate once and then puked up and then ate again). Grrr... curse the fuck out of the evil cornkids and their corny ways! God should ( Read more... )

FUCK! BLOODY FUCKIN'HELL! Furnace Fest has been fuckin' cancelled! Fuckadammit... one of the only things I have been lookin' foward to and it gets fuckin' cancelled... this fuckin' sucks...

Work fuckin' sucked today. They flexed me out to outbound. As expected they gave us all the bullshit trailers. The last one particularly pissed me off... I hate it when I have to rely on the incompotence of others in order to get a job done. Hell, at least I got a raise. Since the cost of living has gone up, they gave us all about $1 raise. So that ( Read more... )

Well saw my shrink today. He said that I am probably not showing early signs of schitzophrenia, but it is more likely that my manic modes are becomin' more prevelant. He suggests a change in meds... probably to Lithium ( Read more... )

Man... feel like cryin' or something. I dunno... this is the usual thing that follows me bein' pissed. What can I say, I have absolutely no control over my own emotions. Everytime I think I am starting to maintain control shit goes hay-wire and I end up even worse and in less control than before. I am not pissed or upset about it... I've just ( Read more... )