Damn it, what part of me refuses to believe that she holds me in contempt, or worse, maybe doesn't care that she does? Hell, for that matter, why did I persist in chasing her in the first place anyway when she's been rejecting me and telling me that I'm unsuited for her since the beginning? What in the hell was it? Why am I still arguing with ( Read more... )

It hurts to be excommunicated. If that is what they think is OK to do to a child then her parents certainly deserve whatever unhappiness they've brought down upon their heads.

I went to see a movie last night called "The Age of Adeline." It's kind of a science-fantasy movie about a woman who was born in 1908 and stopped aging sometime around the time she was thirty. She meets a man in the modern day and their relationship is seemingly doomed by the problem that she doesn't age and cannot tell anyone about it. It was ( Read more... )

According to the scale, I weigh 208 pounds this morning. I got up early to come into work because I have to leave early this afternoon for a dentist appointment in Livermore at 4 PM. I got up around 5:30 and turned the heat on and meditated. The furnace is programed to be around 60° F at night and not switch to 72° until 6. The cat seems reasonably ( Read more... )

It was a beautiful spring morning today. I weighed 211 pounds when I stepped on the scale this morning. I've lost over 60 pounds of "excess me" since February, and 80 pounds since last April. I'm feeling pretty good. I feel "springier" when I walk, like I can run and jump if I want to do so. I haven't weighed this little in years and I am somewhat ( Read more... )

Spring is in full bloom here. It was sunny and warm, but not hot, and the sky was sprinkled with cumulus clouds again, when I went for my noon walk. I've been doing some more thinking and things are starting to get a little clearer. I think I still have some anger, but now that it is getting clearer it is looking much less intense. The first ( Read more... )

I accidentally left my cell phone at home again today. For the past two mornings I've weighed 213 pounds. I think I'm going to keep going with the yams until I am 190. I've got to figure out how to eat healthy to maintain that weight though. I think I've got to replace that pressure cooker and get some decent recipes, if I'm going to eat anything ( Read more... )

I just got back from my noon walk. Oh Great Blue Blazes, I am angry! Holy shit. I would love to say that I am unsurprised by this, I mean, I knew that I was feeling frustrated and hurt, but damn. I was feeling numb and out of touch with myself all day yesterday. I knew this feeling, and I knew that there would appear a gap in a day or so, ( Read more... )

She won't discuss. She doesn't listen. She made erroneous presumptions and would not allow them to be corrected or even questioned. She violates the rules of good communication that she told to me and will not be called on it. She rushed to judgment and convicted without a trial, even misrepresented material facts in her righteousness and her fear ( Read more... )

"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world ( Read more... )