How do you unwind the fear when its wrapped oh so tightly around your neck? How do you dispel the rot of trauma.. when it's been a part of your life for so long?

No one besides save for you knows how much I long to let go, but keep holding on because fear seems to fix me in place, yet every day I'm watching life slip through my hands just a little ( Read more... )

Here I sit in the dark wondering what the ever loving fuck I'm doing. Getting the meds situated and realizing just how out of whack I really was, and yet I kept on trucking just barely but hey we made it out alive and that's all one can really hope for....

Suicidal ideations are no fun when they become intrusive...I can feel the need to be impulsive stirring up like a mental health tornado, take shelter now!

Man, another birthday on the way. What can I say I've learned about the past year? Mostly how to maintain sadness and not let it run me too far down into a pit of despair. It's not anyone or anythings fault in particular it more just comes with the territory of being chronically ill and now the added emotion turmoil of applying for disability, ( Read more... )

You know the song sugar high from Empire Records? I wish I had some of that right now, I'm so fucking tired of being tired and it's not faring well at work.

Can ya feel it sugar high? No alas I vannot

There's something so simple yet easy when our energies vibe with another person, and how in the most random of places you can find yourself generally really fucking happy. I had one of those moments yesterday driving around in circles listening to you belt the B-52's and trying not to die with laughter. Yesterday was the first birthday that I didn' ( Read more... )

Have you ever missed a memory? Or a memory of a person? It could be because that person is no longer with us..or because they're no longer the same person. It really pulls at ones heart strings to miss a memory, I miss a lot of memories.

I miss waking up on a cool spring morning watching my grandfather feed his birds, then come inside to watch ( Read more... )

I've managed to keep this social media account for 18 years granted the last 8/9 I've been rather silent but trust me the bulk majority of that was stupidity at it's finest. Me fulfilling all of my teenage fears and dating the same kind of fuck ups like my mother (save for a few who we didn't mesh right at the time, mainly me and my attachment to ( Read more... )

If you all only knew ( Read more... )

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder who the hell I am and how the fuck did I get here? I've always had good intentions just somewhere down the road either my previous decisions end up sabotaging me or I throw a monkey wrench into the mix without even realizing that I've done it. It's sad that I honestly think deep down I'm trying to find ( Read more... )