I think I allowed myself to believe things with Keith were more than they really were. That's not to say that I didn't like him and have strong feelings for him. However, I was beginning to compare my feelings for him with my feelings for Zack and now I realize how completely different the two situations are. In fact, they are quite opposite.

Things ( Read more... )

Keith and I are on the fritz. Once again. I wonder how long it will last this time before we're back together ( Read more... )

"I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed
You don't know this now, but
there are some things that need to be said
It's all that I can hear
It's all that I can hear
It's more than I can bear

What if I fall and hurt myself,
Would you know how to fix me?
What if I went and lost myself,
Would you know where to find me?
If I forgot who I am,
Would you please ( Read more... )

I'm officially scared. My heart is now completely submerged in him. God I don't want to get hurt.

Last night I had a minor breakdown. I am sick, hormonal, and got overtaken by a wave of depression. It came out of nowhere and knocked me down. It was like everything that has been bothering me in the past few weeks just finally burst out of me in a sea of tears. I was upset because of nothing and everything all at the same time. It was the ( Read more... )

I have been alive for 19 years and not one day I've lived has been as great as this ( Read more... )

I am being haunted by dreams of my deceased friends. For a while, I was only having dreams about Eric. Last night, I had my first dream about Nick. It was a scary, emotional dream. One that I couldn't help, but wake up affected by. I've been fighting back tears just thinking about it ( Read more... )

Before I begin, I'm going to start off by saying that I'm beginning to rely on this online journal to be just that- a journal. I've had this thing for several years, but have mainly written about surface-level bits and pieces of my life. I used to write my real, personal feelings in a tangible journal. However, with technology being so prominent ( Read more... )

After two weeks of feeling empty and depressed. After two weeks of passing him and having to make awkward small talk. After taking long late-night drives and screaming emo lyrics while trying to hold back tears. After all of that, I decided that the situation sucks ( Read more... )

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."  ~Author Unknown

I am trying, with every fiber of my being to convince myself that the words that make up that quotation apply to me and what I am doing now. I want to believe that giving you up meant that I was strong, meant that I was doing the ( Read more... )